some girls told DS he's going to be held back - just usual mean girl stuff right?

[Anonymous]

don't think i should be bothered by such comment..., but wanted to ask. DS wasn't bothered, as he already doesn't like those girls anyway. DS is in 3rd grade and got As and Bs so definitely not behind academically, but he's also goofy and quirky so i think the girls were just making fun/being mean to him. tks.

[Anonymous]

just mean girl stuff for sure. starts around kindergarten. good thing your DS isnt bothered by it.
ignore it. one day when he's their boss, he'll be the one laughing!

[Anonymous]

I agree that it's mean girl stuff. I've got three kids (grades 4, 2 and 1) and I can't believe some of the stuff they tell my kids - and it seems to be the girls. One girl told my DS that if he didn't do well on the SOLs, he wouldn't be able to go to college and he'd be living like a "hobo" under a bridge. It freaked him out!

[Anonymous]

As a side note, sometimes kids say mean things to get attention. A friend told me a nice story about how one child was being really mean to her kid. She spoke to the teacher and counselor. Turns out the kid who was being mean actually liked the other child and wanted attention from the other kid (but lacked the social skills to do it in a positive way - NT kids can also be negative attention seekers). Long story short, the counselor figured out a challenge that got them working together and they are now friends. Not fast friends but still friends. Because the mom took a low key but persistent approach to raising the issue and asking for assistance, things worked out. Of course, the story had a good outcome because the counselor was great.

So, yes, there is a ton of mean behavior out there, but sometimes the kids being mean are good kids and just need an adult who can guide them in the right direciton. Parents can not call the school for every poor choice another student makes, but if stuff rises to the level of bothering your child - then do make a call. There is often more going on with the other kids than your own child will ever be able to tell you.