Forum Index
»
Private & Independent Schools
No playdate invitations?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| DC is at a new school for pre-k and we have had no playdate invitations from classmates. Is this a sign of a problem? DC seems to be pretty happy and has lots of playdates with kids from the old school, the neighborhood, etc . . . so I'm not concerned about lack of playdates. Just wondering if we (or DC) are rubbing people the wrong way. |
Anonymous
| Have you invited anyone over to your place for a playdate? If your child is happy I won't worry so much. But, I would ask him/her who he/she would like to invite over and perhaps leave a note for those parents doing that. |
Anonymous
| I haven't. I will (and DC has expressed an interest in playdates with 2 or 3 classmates), but am using a lot of the days DC is available to do playdates with kids from the old school, to ease the transition. I have a part-time job, which cuts down on available afternoons. |
Anonymous
| oh god....I am grateful when no one asks...wait, did I say that aloud? |
Anonymous
Really? Why do you say that? I have DC's friends over all the time and I find them to be royal pains with poor manners, but I put up with it. I'm the invitation extender for my DC so am curious to know why you would prefer if no one asks. |
Anonymous
I'm not the PP, but I agree somewhat. Our family is overscheduled as it is with the kids' afternoon and weekend activities, many school related activities, and birthday parties. It gets to be too much. Down time is a good thing for everyone. |
Anonymous
Are all the activities morte important than the kids' friendships? Just curious. I sometimes drop activities to make sure there is time for play dates. |
Anonymous
| I think once you have two kids, even having no activities can still mean you're busy just running around taking care of them. I know that afternoon naptime for my little one gets in the way of me driving the older one around. My child has been in a private preschool for two years now, and playdates with other kids are infrequent - people are just too busy. We tend to have playdates with neighbors or close friends regularly, and I am sure others are the same way - its not like the kids aren't together in school every day. We sometimes have playdates with classmates on days when the kids are on school vacation. |
Anonymous
Good for you. And I don't think you are "just curious", but rather judgmental. Playdates are not the only means by which friendships are formed. First, the children are in school together for many hours of the day and friendships are definitely formed there. Second, many friendships are formed during activities as well. Third, some activities are very important to my children (soccer, ballet, swimming) and require a weekly time commitment, and they would rather do the activities than have a playdate. |
Anonymous
Calm down. No need to get hot under the collar defending your choices. It's fine. |
Anonymous
|
new poster here ... My older child doesn't have many playdates because I don't initiate them. He also doesn't have a lot of after-school activities (he's 5), because I think downtime is vitally important to him. Maybe not for every kid, but, I do think many children could use more time to think, create, wander (seriously!) and let their brains just go where they will -- without having to navigate social skills after having just done that for 7 hours, or without having to follow closely what a coach is saying then execute that instruction.
I think there's an optimal mix in a day for each child consisting of social interaction, coach-y teach-y activities (ballet, Spanish, karate), and nothing time. My kid seems to require a period each day of nothing time, and so we don't initiate or, frankly, accept a lot of playdate invites. OK this wasn't responsive at all to OP. Advice to OP is, I bet you're not rubbing people the wrong way. I do think, however, that you may want to call and ask for playdates yourself. |
Anonymous
|
OP here-
Just to clarify- I'm not looking for more playdates for DC. DC is overscheduled already and loves to play with his siblings and friends from the old school and the neighborhood anyway. I have read a lot here about how everyone has lots of playdates with the kids in their new schools and was beginning to think that maybe we were somehow rubbing someone the wrong way. |
Anonymous
|
My child has been invited on six playdates since she started at his new school in Sept. I have to start reciprocating. I think it's great for her - helps her make close friends and really feel like her school is filled with his "buddies."
We cut back on after-school activities as advised by her teachers - they don't want the kids to be over-scheduled during this adjustment period. Anyhow, I think they're very important. |
Anonymous
| We're at a new school for pre-k this year too. My DS has not been invited on a playdate (BTW, does anyone else hate that term as much as I do?), and I've spent 2 weeks trying to schedule one with a working mom/ non-driving nanny who is as busy as I am. His teacher talked about it at open house and stressed not to worry about it.... parents tend to make a much bigger deal out of "playdates" (there I go again) than the kids do. |
Anonymous
|
This seems so silly. You aren't being asked to playdates because you aren't asking.
We just moved here; DC just started Pre-K; and I started suggesting playdates casually to other parents at the many school functions for parents. I followed up on a couple of them and others followed up by calling me. We've had one or two playdates every week since school started. No big mystery. But I also believe that it's best for the children to have a lot of what someone here called "nothing" time. I wasn't required to be in school 6 hours a day at his age. So, we typically reserve the playdates for Friday afternoon and Saturday. |