Why is there so much school debate BEFORE being accepted?
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Anonymous
| It seems pretty presumptuous to be debating the merits of each school for children who haven't been accepted yet. I'm just hoping my DC gets into ANY school I've applied to rather than worrying which is 'best'. |
Anonymous
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Well, I think a lot of the "comparing schools - questions" come from people already in the private school orbit who's child(ren) are applying out to another private school. Often, especially if the current school is supportive and helps guide the applicant, it is highly likely the child will obtain offers from most of the schools to which they are applying.
If your child is graduating from a school that traditionally ends at 3rd or 4th or 6th or 8th (most common years) the current school usually recommends the next step schools to which your child should apply based on their current academic achievements and overall behavior and abilities. This group of schools consists of those that would fit your child well and to which the child should be able to gain admission. The first school's reputation is also in play here so they have a real motivation for getting graduates into next schools that will work for the student - just like private high schools are judged based on where their seniors matriculate for college and then judge by those same colleges and universities by the high schools graduates who have matriculated in the past. In this scenario, the group of schools which your family is considering is also a much smaller group than that of someone who may be applying to privates for the first time. In the former, your child has weight of the current school behind them. It makes a very big difference in one's odds of getting an offer of admission - it is less of a crap shoot. 
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Anonymous
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I think it may be a couple of reasons. Some parents probably apply all over and then start really thinking about what they want on the off chance (or not, sounds like some kids get in everywhere) they have multiple acceptances. Some people want to test the waters and see if anyone else will spill infor/dirt/gossip about the school, the applicants, the process, the odds of admission. Some want to stir the pot and dissuade others from liking their top choice school. Some just want to be prepared to know what acceptance would make them happiest, some want to prepare for the worst.
In other words, it is a crappy process because you feel like you put your kid out there to be evaluated and possibly rejected and it helps to talk about it with people who can relate to how nervous and scared you are without having to actually admit it. Reassurance. |
Anonymous
| A lot of it is perfectly natural anxiety. Parents are pretty powerless during the months from January to March, but they can come on DCUM and vent or fret. |
Anonymous
Mental masturbation - many parents don't want to screw up their children's lives by making a mistake.
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Anonymous
| Some of us are also just starting to look at schools for a year from now, but get caught up in all the threads going on currently. Our questions or comments might seem oddly timed if you're going through the application process this year. |
Anonymous
We have all been living with the "What's the next task" to do list to get our DD/DS into the school of our choice for the last few months and now there is nothing left we can do. Now the only two questions are "what if we get into multiple schools, which one would we chose?" and "what if we don't get into any". You are seeing the fallout from the former, and the later has a simple answer: Rent an appartment in either fairfax or moco depending on your flavor, and hit the best public school. |
Anonymous
| For fun? Everyone is so serious here. |
Anonymous
| There is so muvh truth to the post that parents have worked so hard and now we play the waiting game. Coming to the fourm is just another way to pass time until March 1 |
Anonymous
| Anxiety. Check out college confidential where HS kids are hovering with their questions and regrets before the acceptances go out in March or April. I guess staying close makes them feel more in control, even if stepping away for a few weeks might be good for them. |
Anonymous
| This year's postings seem fairly mild compared to past. I only discovered this site just a few days before DC 1 was admitted to PreK a few years back. The level at anxiety was a 10. Posters were sniping at each other, accusing folks of lying, etc. "The school has NOT sent out the letters, so there is NO way you know that your little Johnny has been admitted." And that is a mild example. I agree with the PPs who believe that parents do this as it is the only control they can exercise in this lull. Some folks applying little Johnny for the first time will get multiple offers and many are in the camp what a poster described as DCs already matriculated at an independent and now applying out for the next level. Finally, there are some folks who are wholly unaware how daunting the odds are, only applied to one school, and may be devastated when they learn that DC was rejected, not even waitlisted. |
Anonymous
| I agree with the OP. This is my second year applying to private school for my SN. I wasted SO much time and energy on this discussion last year before having the (undesireable) results. This year, I'm trying to table the pros and cons of each place i applied until I have the results. |
Anonymous
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Actually, it's all because I couldn't post on the hottest dad thread since I'm a dad.
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Anonymous
| I'm with OP! I think it borders on delusional, it's as if folks don't understand how competitive it is out there. Plus there's an element of luck in acceptance, a school picking a comparable applicant for goodness knows why. Hang in there, folks! |
Anonymous
| OP here - I feel like even THINKING the question is some sort of horrible jinx... A lot of people on his forum are apparently much more confident than I am that the process will end well... |