If you have young kids ( toddlers, babies) and a golf playing husband....

[Anonymous]

How many times does he play on weekends? I am trying to let my DH play when he likes and realize its important for us to let off steam, relax and enjoy hobbies. He just tends to do this way more than I but that's my fault, I don't let myself do my own thing nearly as much, just because I guess.

We have a 2 year old and I'm expecting the new one any day and DH golfs at least twice a month and spends about one weekend day a week going to the driving range for a few hours. He also takes one weekend long golf trip a year. I'm starting to get edgy now when he says he's going out and feel like this isn't going to fly with two kids. Do your husbands go out for golf a lot? How do you keep a balance without feeling resentful? I don't want to harp on him but I am not sure how this will work out.

[Anonymous]

Also, we don't belong to a cc or anything like that, which I'm sure would make this a lot more fun as a family when the kids get older but for now that's not an option.

[Anonymous]

When your 2 year old is 4 years old, have your husband take him with him to the driving range. In the meantime, I think it is reasonable to give him one time every other weekend to get away to golf (as long as that is his only "getaway" that weekend). Or, your husband has to play at the crack of dawn so he is back in time to help you with the kids and then you get out then. And I'm ok with one golf weekend a year. But that's it!

[Anonymous]

What your DH is doing would NOT fly with me! My DH plays maybe once a month on a weekend day, or maybe even less than that depending on what we've got going on. Then he occasionally plays ("for work") during the week while the kids are at daycare and I'm at work too so I don't care. Once every year or so he and his college friends go away for a couple of days on a golf/boys trip. And that's it. When your kids are young you just can't devote the same kind of time to discretionary hobbies. You just can't. Your DH needs to grow up a little bit.

[Anonymous]

Driving ranges and courses have 6am tee times. Just send him then so he'll be home by 10 and you can have help with the two kids.

[Anonymous]

DH does the earliest tee times and is back by 9:30 or so. He goes with other dads who have young kids. If he golfs with his buddies who don't have young kids, he goes on a weekday.

He started taking our son to the driving range and putting green at a ridiculously early age-- about 2.75. We have a couple of little clubs and he goes and swings alongside dad. He can only last for about an hour, but DS loves it so much that it is fun for both of them.
I have even been out on the green with our younger DS while they putt-- he practices his walking, plays around with the bucket of balls, etc. On a day of nice weather, we make it a little family activity.

If your DH has his heart set on spending a lot of solo time out there, you guys need to compromise beforehand, and you get an equivalent time for your hobbies or just to relax and nap once he gets home.

[Anonymous]

My DH also golfs and I support him doing so because I think it's important to have interests outside the family and because it helps him blow off steam from a stressful job. When my DH plays it's always with friends, too, so it's not just about the game. I think once or twice a month is reasonable. I think the key to making the my time/your time/family time balance work is planning. It would irk me if DH announced w/o notice that he was going out to the driving range--that kind of thing needs to be planned. Also, if it is, you might be more comfortable asking for your own break and it would also make him appreciate your efforts when he's out. Make up a monthly calendar with a time budget.

[Anonymous]

We have three kids and the oldest is 5. My golf loving husband has effectively given up golf. Not because I asked him to, but because it took too much time away from the kids. He golfs about once every three months and goes on one golf weekend a year.

[Anonymous]

If he can afford this much golf, then you guys could afford a baby sitter to help you when he's on the course.

[Anonymous]

DH plays a round or goes to the range for several hours every other Sunday afternoon after church. The other two Sundays I get "me time" normally I go to a yoga class . We have two under 2 & I think it's important we both have time to do something we enjoy. I think you need to find a hobby and some balance op

[Anonymous]

Ok this makes me not feel so crazy when I get upset my husband golfs 2-3 times per WEEK plus driving range nights!

[Anonymous]

Plays a round with his dad and BIL about once a month and is home around 1. Hits the range once or twice a month for a couple of hours, but usually makes it coincide with a time I wouldn't need his help. He makes sure I get plenty of me time,family time, and couples time so I have no complaints

[Anonymous]

Mine did at least that much. Didn't bother me. I was free to do whatever I wanted with no complaints from him. When my kids were little I didn't do nearly as much and I was fine with that - I loved the baby and toddler stages. But now I like the freedom to take classes and spend money on my interests as I please (without going into debt, of course).

[Anonymous]

Girls, my dh golfs at least 4 times a week. He goes on golf trips 3-4 times a year. He is all golf all the time. If he weren't such a great husband in between all this I would have left long ago. It's hard living with a man like this . It's a very lonely life. You can't control other people. I do worry it will affect the kids negatively but only time will tell. That's life. I do my best, love my kids and love my husband. My whole entire life revolves around golf. Not sure what retirement with this man will be like.....

[Anonymous]

I don't think that sounds that excessive. A few hours on weekends, plus two other days per month, and one weekend out of the year?

I would just make sure that you also get equal time to do whatever hobby you like, and a "girls weekend" once a year.