MS: How do you gather the best intel and how to you make a determination?

[Anonymous]

My back-of-the-envelope math tells me that my rising 6th grader will be able to pick from about 5 different more or less promising middle school choices in the course of this spring and summer. Of course, I'm doing my share of open houses and occasionally invite my child along. But I'm finding this to be of little value. Schools all have their very own routines and few are able to properly describe a school day, much less provide meaningful curricular information. Rarely does a classroom tour do much to help me (or my child) understand exactly how teaching takes place. The traditionally more sought after schools - to some degree understandably so - do an even poorer job than the schools that are eager to attract parents. So I'm turning to collective wisdom (!) to better train my eye and senses:

Those with children currently in 6th grade or up and reasonably confident that they've make the right choice, what did you base your decision on? How did you determine the "right" choice? Was sending your child to spend a day at the school useful, and if so in what way?

[Anonymous]

1) Check out greatschools.org for comparative data; Identify 3 top relevant schools
2) Talk to neighbors

[Anonymous]

Be very wary of schools that don't want you touring when classes are in session.

There will be many excuses offered, but the reality is, it's often a way to hide classroom management issues from prospective parents.

In middle school, classroom management is critical for your child to have a safe secure space to grow and learn. It doesn't matter how great the curriculum is if the teacher can't keep the class focused on the task at hand and engaged in positive learning.

[Anonymous]

Both you and child visit the schools. Look around and listen to how the kids talk to one another. How do the staff members talk to one another? How does the office staff treat you and one another--that can be give away to how things work there. If folks are "spoken down to" or if they're disorganized, then you may have a clue as to what's valued.

Does your kid feel like he/she could fit in there? Definitely have your kid spend a day there.

At the end of the day, you are taking a leap. There is no way to guarantee any school will be a perfect fit. You'll have to go through the same thing when you apply to colleges.

[Anonymous]

My rising 6th grader has been allowed to do shadow days at our top choices (we narrowed it down a bit first). I agree talking to other parents is very helpful and letting your student talk to other students at the school has also been helpful.

[Anonymous]

Definitely spend some time in the classroom. If the majority of the kids are turned toward the teacher, eyes bright and hands up you've got a winner of a teacher/school. If the overall feeling among the kids is lethargic and disengaged that's a problem. It should not be that way at this age.

[Anonymous]

I agree with previous posters (amazing - we all agree!). Have your child do a shadow day at your top 2 choices so s/he can really get a feel for the school environments and whether they will be comfortable or not.