Quarantine Confessions (share yours here)

[Anonymous]

Yesterday after I logged off work for the day, my retired DH immediately wanted me to help him with yard work. I told him I needed to go down to the basement to work out first. I went down there and sat on the couch for an hour watching an episode of Bosch on my phone.

I really miss the decompressing time I used to have on my drive home! I can't just flip the switch straight from telework to chores around the house.

[Anonymous]

Well, I've started sneaking a few cigarettes again, probably out of boredom. I went to get a pack at my Safeway but was shocked at how expensive they were (new taxes since I last quit) so I walked out and drove across the bridge to Virginia where they are half the price. Guess I'm still my same cheap self even when I'm craving some nicotine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am fantasizing about my ex boyfriend from college and wishing that he would have married me.

What is our problem, PP? I've been doing the same and I don't get it. I'm happy in my life and haven't thought of him in years.

This was 20 years ago and I’ve never gotten over the heartbreak. Ex and I dated in college. I was head over heels in love; he said that something wasn’t “clicking” (I hate that!) and broke up with me. After graduation, I dated someone else briefly. Ex came back into my life and we were FWBs for years. He n said he loved me, but was probably just using me. Then, he married his not very attractive on again off again girlfriend. I felt like the biggest loser and so used. Other couples in college we knew who started dating when we did are celebrating their 25 year anniversaries. WTF? I wanted to marry him so badly. I just still feel so sad about this. Why did he choose her over me? Don’t flame me, I already know what an idiot I am. But being stuck at home, all of these feelings have resurfaced for me.

My goodness, you followed perfectly the playbook for how nit to get a person to marry you.

I know. We were living in different cities after college, and I just wanted to be with him, so I put up with his coming into and out of my life and his mixed signals. I know that he never really loved me. But I’m not sure because, from what I know, he broke up with the woman he married several times too (and that it when he would get together with me). So maybe he just had a general mental block toward relationships. Anyway, she was ultimately in the right place at the right time, so she won. Anyway, who cares. His life probably turned out great, and mine turned out bad. I’m an idiot who never meant anything to anyone.

If this guy has a tendency to break up with people whenever the mood strikes, I'm guessing his wife's life is not a picnic. I have a former coworker whose now-wife broke up with him several times while they were dating. They've now been married over a decade and she's left him a few times, only to change her mind and move back in. He always takes her back. Their poor kids.

[Anonymous]

The thing that finally made me break down and sob was when DH (who isn't working, while I work from home) at 4:45 yesterday afternoon said in a really nasty way "Are you ever going to stop working and make dinner?"

I've been contemplating divorce for a while now, but that sealed it.

[Anonymous]

I am not concerned about education equity at this point and feel the school system did the best they could to provide devices and point parents to how to get low cost and free internet and at this point it needs the schools just need to teach and if some kids get left behind than it's on their parents. School will be there in the Fall and the kids can repeat. It won't cost the parents more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am fantasizing about my ex boyfriend from college and wishing that he would have married me.

What is our problem, PP? I've been doing the same and I don't get it. I'm happy in my life and haven't thought of him in years.

This was 20 years ago and I’ve never gotten over the heartbreak. Ex and I dated in college. I was head over heels in love; he said that something wasn’t “clicking” (I hate that!) and broke up with me. After graduation, I dated someone else briefly. Ex came back into my life and we were FWBs for years. He n said he loved me, but was probably just using me. Then, he married his not very attractive on again off again girlfriend. I felt like the biggest loser and so used. Other couples in college we knew who started dating when we did are celebrating their 25 year anniversaries. WTF? I wanted to marry him so badly. I just still feel so sad about this. Why did he choose her over me? Don’t flame me, I already know what an idiot I am. But being stuck at home, all of these feelings have resurfaced for me.

My goodness, you followed perfectly the playbook for how nit to get a person to marry you.

I know. We were living in different cities after college, and I just wanted to be with him, so I put up with his coming into and out of my life and his mixed signals. I know that he never really loved me. But I’m not sure because, from what I know, he broke up with the woman he married several times too (and that it when he would get together with me). So maybe he just had a general mental block toward relationships. Anyway, she was ultimately in the right place at the right time, so she won. Anyway, who cares. His life probably turned out great, and mine turned out bad. I’m an idiot who never meant anything to anyone.

It sounds like you were great for him on paper, but whatever that extra "it" thing it just wasn't there. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with you. Probably the opposite. You probably check a lot of boxes of what someone is looking for, and he probably didn't understand it himself what was missing. It's a mystery what that "thing" is, isn't it? And it has nothing to do with being pretty enough or smart enough or whatever.

You're having a bad time right now, but hang in there. Just because you feel like shit today, doesn't mean it won't pass. Hugs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am fantasizing about my ex boyfriend from college and wishing that he would have married me.

What is our problem, PP? I've been doing the same and I don't get it. I'm happy in my life and haven't thought of him in years.

This was 20 years ago and I’ve never gotten over the heartbreak. Ex and I dated in college. I was head over heels in love; he said that something wasn’t “clicking” (I hate that!) and broke up with me. After graduation, I dated someone else briefly. Ex came back into my life and we were FWBs for years. He n said he loved me, but was probably just using me. Then, he married his not very attractive on again off again girlfriend. I felt like the biggest loser and so used. Other couples in college we knew who started dating when we did are celebrating their 25 year anniversaries. WTF? I wanted to marry him so badly. I just still feel so sad about this. Why did he choose her over me? Don’t flame me, I already know what an idiot I am. But being stuck at home, all of these feelings have resurfaced for me.

My goodness, you followed perfectly the playbook for how nit to get a person to marry you.

I know. We were living in different cities after college, and I just wanted to be with him, so I put up with his coming into and out of my life and his mixed signals. I know that he never really loved me. But I’m not sure because, from what I know, he broke up with the woman he married several times too (and that it when he would get together with me). So maybe he just had a general mental block toward relationships. Anyway, she was ultimately in the right place at the right time, so she won. Anyway, who cares. His life probably turned out great, and mine turned out bad. I’m an idiot who never meant anything to anyone.

If this guy has a tendency to break up with people whenever the mood strikes, I'm guessing his wife's life is not a picnic. I have a former coworker whose now-wife broke up with him several times while they were dating. They've now been married over a decade and she's left him a few times, only to change her mind and move back in. He always takes her back. Their poor kids.

Yes, knowing that he likely had issues and that I did everything I could has softened the blow. I think that he was only comparatively perfect compared to the other men in my life, including DH. But, in retrospect, he was a bit arrogant, patronizing, critical, and reserved with his emotions. But he was my first love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am fantasizing about my ex boyfriend from college and wishing that he would have married me.

What is our problem, PP? I've been doing the same and I don't get it. I'm happy in my life and haven't thought of him in years.

This was 20 years ago and I’ve never gotten over the heartbreak. Ex and I dated in college. I was head over heels in love; he said that something wasn’t “clicking” (I hate that!) and broke up with me. After graduation, I dated someone else briefly. Ex came back into my life and we were FWBs for years. He n said he loved me, but was probably just using me. Then, he married his not very attractive on again off again girlfriend. I felt like the biggest loser and so used. Other couples in college we knew who started dating when we did are celebrating their 25 year anniversaries. WTF? I wanted to marry him so badly. I just still feel so sad about this. Why did he choose her over me? Don’t flame me, I already know what an idiot I am. But being stuck at home, all of these feelings have resurfaced for me.

My goodness, you followed perfectly the playbook for how nit to get a person to marry you.

I know. We were living in different cities after college, and I just wanted to be with him, so I put up with his coming into and out of my life and his mixed signals. I know that he never really loved me. But I’m not sure because, from what I know, he broke up with the woman he married several times too (and that it when he would get together with me). So maybe he just had a general mental block toward relationships. Anyway, she was ultimately in the right place at the right time, so she won. Anyway, who cares. His life probably turned out great, and mine turned out bad. I’m an idiot who never meant anything to anyone.

It sounds like you were great for him on paper, but whatever that extra "it" thing it just wasn't there. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with you. Probably the opposite. You probably check a lot of boxes of what someone is looking for, and he probably didn't understand it himself what was missing. It's a mystery what that "thing" is, isn't it? And it has nothing to do with being pretty enough or smart enough or whatever.

You're having a bad time right now, but hang in there. Just because you feel like shit today, doesn't mean it won't pass. Hugs.

Thanks. Not sure that any human being had “it” for him though. When he told me of his engagement, he said that he decided to buy the ring because it made practical sense after so many years of on again off again dating, and some people who dated less time than them had recently gotten married. So romantic, huh? Actually writing this has given me some needed perspective, so I feel better. Thanks for the therapy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing that finally made me break down and sob was when DH (who isn't working, while I work from home) at 4:45 yesterday afternoon said in a really nasty way "Are you ever going to stop working and make dinner?"

I've been contemplating divorce for a while now, but that sealed it.

Hon, don't cry about it. Gather your courage and lay out some truths for him. Use this opportunity to either get the changes you want or find a good attorney.

[Anonymous]

1. I feel like a teenager waiting for the little symbol to turn green that shows that my coworker is online and not away or busy. I actually put makeup on yesterday because I knew he'd be in the same video meeting. He's a great guy but I'm pretty sure I'm just bored.

2. I have three Sam's Club cases of toilet paper in the basement that I bought in Dec before the holidays and forgot about.

3. My coffee thermos is filled with red wine today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing that finally made me break down and sob was when DH (who isn't working, while I work from home) at 4:45 yesterday afternoon said in a really nasty way "Are you ever going to stop working and make dinner?"

I've been contemplating divorce for a while now, but that sealed it.

Also he needs a haircut and shoes shined - get to work

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. I feel like a teenager waiting for the little symbol to turn green that shows that my coworker is online and not away or busy. I actually put makeup on yesterday because I knew he'd be in the same video meeting. He's a great guy but I'm pretty sure I'm just bored.

2. I have three Sam's Club cases of toilet paper in the basement that I bought in Dec before the holidays and forgot about.

3. My coffee thermos is filled with red wine today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not concerned about education equity at this point and feel the school system did the best they could to provide devices and point parents to how to get low cost and free internet and at this point it needs the schools just need to teach and if some kids get left behind than it's on their parents. School will be there in the Fall and the kids can repeat. It won't cost the parents more.

This. Keep my kids working on something! If your child doesn’t have access, I do feel for you and am deeply sorry but the school needs to have those kids doing extra work with extra support in the Fall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I confess to stress eating a box of strawberry frozen fruit bars.

That's much better than a Costco box of Haagen Dazs vanila milk chocolate almond ice cream bars.
Though I just started on the box and there is still a lot of daylight!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I secretly think that this is meant to be as a way of “clearing up the forest”.
Look how much cleaner the world has become- the air, the water...
also, there are so many seniors in care homes whose relatives will be secretly relieved if they died.
There are homeless people who are supposedly harder hit by the virus; in any case, I see much fewer of them now...
I think this is a means to rebalance the world...

So only the ones who can afford to get Whole Foods delivery will survive. The world will get rid of the poor, sick and old.

Wait, wait... the rich were the ones spreading it. The rich in China who pay a fortune to eat exotic crap (bird's nest anyone? Pangolin?)
then the rich that go traveling through Europe and bring it back home to their maids, restaurant servers, etc. Or go to rural areas of the U.S. to ski and boom, leave behind a hot zone!

Whoa!

It all comes down to the powerful getting rid of the undesirables. Over and over and over again! LOL LOL