There’s no “weird rant,” it was detailing why his loans are sky high. He and his family chose let him attend higher status and the most expensive private colleges for both undergrad and med school, which resulted in lots of loans. His spouse attended humble and affordable public colleges her family could afford. Now you think the wife who was fiscally responsible should bail her husband out of debt he accumulated before they even met? This is nuts. Hell no. She shouldn’t pay a dime. |
The daughter is being played. |
The debt is a pre-marital asset. Or liability, to be specific. He brought it into the marriage. If they divorce, he'll take it out. |
Is this a joke? Doctors’ earning years are substantially lower because of the length of education and training. The ones who make 500k+ start earning 10 or more years later than someone who graduated college and started working. Plus, money saved earlier compounds and grows over the years, so the person making 150k, if they didn’t squander all their earnings, already has a nice amount accumulated by the time the dr starts making money. And the medical school debt has accrued a ridiculous amount of interest during training too. Unless the doctor is a smart investor, which they often don’t have the time or interest to be, they end up worse off than people who make less. |
This^^^ People who think in terms of "him" or "her" or "me" or "them" are not functioning as a unit. If your spouse has loans, they affect your entire family finances until they are paid off. Sure should you divorce, they are still the spouses loans, but who goes into a marriage assuming "we are getting a divorce". If you are not 100% certain in you relationship, then that is a issue you should fix before marriage |
Yup! If my spouse came to me post marriage and stated "you have loans and they are not mine so sign this doc so that they stay mine and only mine but I will continue to benefit from your nice paying job that is a result of these loans" I would be alarmed. |
And it is!! This way you set a budget, you got what you wanted (some girls have very specific dreams of what they want/like and there is no reason you shouldn't get something you really love, considering it is for life). Back when we got engaged, I still had 1 year of undergrad and 2 years of masters to do and my fiancé made 40K and had student loans to pay off. So we agreed to spend $2000 all in for my engagement, and both wedding bands. Seemed silly to spend much more given we had $80K in loans in total coming up. 15 years later, I got a $12K "replacement ring" and 5 years after that a diamond eternity ring to wear with the "engagement" ring. We could easily afford the $16-18K at that point, but sure as hell no way when we got engaged. |
Well, I do agree she should eventually go back to work. I'm all for SAHP, but if you spend $$$$$ on a medical or law degree, you should plan to at least use it part time. Otherwise why get the degree and go into massive debt to do so? But it is weird he didn't feel he should help with the debt. |
How does the "more savings" work? When you turn 65 and retire, you get to travel and he can't because "he didn't save enough"? Or do you pay for all vacations because you make more? |
How do you know you’ll still be married at 65? Or both alive at 65? Coercing a debt free young wife to bail you out of $400,000 in debt makes you a chickenshit mooch. |
My husband paid off my credit card debt when we got married. I was so ashamed and embarrassed. I’ll never forget how nonjudgmental and straightforward he was—“this is our debt now and we agreed we don’t want debt, right?” End of story.
That debt had funded a move that got me in a job where I want just able to buy him a sports car. This is all a silly way to say—if everyone is working in faith of the marriage, you know it all comes out in the wash. So what’s the real situation here? |
Nonsense. I work in a hospital and no doctor is struggling financially. Their job security is also rock solid. |
Um, you're acting like there's no future benefit to attending prestigious schools. Why do you think people shell out small fortunes to attend these places, lol?? I'll be the first to admit there's not an r^2 = 1 correlation (to put it in nerdy, statistical terms) between prestigious schools and future wealth/career success. A lot of the benefit of these schools is in the networking and related factors, not necessarily the actual education. So an introvert like me, who hates the social aspect of the work world, benefited less from my Ivy degree than others. But you're crazy if you're treating debt from prestigious schools like an overpriced vacation he put on a credit card. |
Yes but save is the only plan that allows you to not include your spouse's income every other plan requires you to include it regardless of your filing status. And PSLF would only apply if he's working in nonprofit or government. |
lol? Are you 12? An American doctor will make money wherever they go to college. Private colleges are totally unnecessary and indulgent. Strong-arming a debt free wife to pay off your status-obsessed indulgences is super scummy. |