Applying out - keep siblings together or not?

[Anonymous]

We're thinking about applying out our kids for fourth and sixth grade. (No, we aren't just thinking of this with looming deadlines now. This is for NEXT year's application season, so I'm ahead.)

Does anyone have experience with trying to leave a school early? If so, did you feel it was better to apply both kids at the same time? Or did you think it would have been better to apply each child at a different time?

We're just starting to think about this now. We never expected to want to have our kids leave their current school, but it's become obvious over the last couple of months that we should consider it. We have not had a good experience this year, and we aren't sure we want to continue to contribute heavily and do all the things one is expected to as a member of the school community when we are troubled by what is going on. If anyone has any tips or advice from a BTDT perspective, I would appreciate hearing them.

[Anonymous]

We needed to move our DS out of a private during a disastrous year and it was clear that admin. wasn't going to do anything about the teacher or the problem. We were so unhappy with the school that we decided to pull out DD at a younger level too because there was no way we were going to continue to pay big bucks for a program that was going downhill. (many others were also leaving). So we swept into the whole application business mid-year and a little late. Interesting, DD got accepted first at the more elite school. DS then also got in @ a month later at his first choice. It all worked out very well and both kids were really happy with the moves, plus I didn't have the long drive anymore. I think once you've burnt out on a school, it's time for the whole family to leave. I no longer had any interest in working on the auction or the board or anything else.

[Anonymous]

BTDT. For us, we were done with the school. The longer the year wore on, the more disenchanted we became. Did I say "disenchanted"? What I meant to say was irritated. Maybe even angry. Little things that were once minor irritations became hugely anger-producing. There was just a tipping point for us. Once we knew we were leaving, it was time to get completely out. We did not put our kids in the same schools when we left, but that was their choice. They chose their new schools.

[Anonymous]

That was exactly our experience (18:29). We voted with our feet. And, interestingly, those slot full-freight slots were not refilled by transfers so school lost big time, just because the admin. had no control over the mean teachers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That was exactly our experience (18:29). We voted with our feet. And, interestingly, those slot full-freight slots were not refilled by transfers so school lost big time, just because the admin. had no control over the mean teachers.

Exactly. I'm a PP. Slots were not refilled. But the move was good for us, so all worked out well from our perspective.

[Anonymous]

As to your original question, I am sure you realize the obvious benefits of keeping the kids together -- same vacation week, one annual fund, one group of administrators. I am sure there are circumstances where one school may not be appropriate for both children, but I think that is often overlplayed except in extreme situations. The best thing about having them both in one school is that it gives the kids something in commone - they know the same teachers, many of the same kids even if several years apart etc.

As for moving out early, my advice is to look at a variety of schools, including some that are not closely aligned with your current school. The interlocking boards and close relationships among some independents put us in a situation where one of our children that we tried to apply out early was actually thrwarted by his then-current school. If you can maintain a good relaionship with the current school's administration even though you are dissatisfied, that would help as you look to move. Also, if you make it clear tha tyou will move no matter what -- even to public-- that may make other schools feel less like they are hurting the existing school.

[Anonymous]

this: I think once you've burnt out on a school, it's time for the whole family to leave. I no longer had any interest in working on the auction or the board or anything else., from above poster.

pretty much sums it up,no.

[Anonymous]

I have two children at two different schools because they have different needs so I think the first consideration is what is best for each child. BUT we moved one DC out of a school mid-year because of an issue that wasn't really the school's fault, just a bad fit. The whole experience was so painful there was no way I could continue showing up there with another child. I just needed to leave, and embrace the new school.

You've soured on the school, you need to leave completely, My guess is that you will realize the wisdom of this once you do.