When is it appropriate to expel a 3 year old?

[Anonymous]

I have a meeting tomorrow with my DC's pk-3 teacher. He says my DC does not listen to him and repeatedly says no. He goes in time out quite frequently but is not violent. He has never hit a student, used foul language and doesn't throw objects in the class. School is new to him and he is having a hard time adjusting to authority. He is has a good heart and is the class helper. The teacher is threatening to expel him. I know he should listen to the teacher but I think this is a bit extreme. Would like to know if other parents have experienced this? And of course I am talking about a charter school (not one of the most sought after either).

[Anonymous]

This school is not meeting your DC's needs and btw, i think that when caregivers are so negative about children, it makes the situation worse. Get him out of there and into another charter. There are a few I have heard of w some PK slots open for transfers this semesester.

[Anonymous]

Administrator has to be there at this meeting too, correct? Has administrator or other teachers gone in to observe? Is this threat to expel out of the blue, or has the school been contact you about issues since the start of the year? Just trying to get a sense of if it's a sudden change or an ongoing issue that school feels is not getting better.

You say he is having a hard time adjusting to authority. What about your authority? Is there are marked difference between behavior at home vs. at school? It may be that the school is setting higher expectation than you are, but if you ask what those expectations are and are consistent in expecting them at home, that might help.

[Anonymous]

I haven't experienced this, but as a teacher, I'm a bit surprised that a three year old that is not violent or disrespectful other than saying "No"- and what three year old doesn't do that?- would be suggested for expulsion. What other consequences have been tried?

[Anonymous]

I would find another school as if they don't like your child, how they treat him is probably part of why he is behaving as he is. "No" is common for three year olds.

[Anonymous]

Parent to parent, I agree with the PPs who are saying that you just need to find someplace new for your child, because if the school is seriously suggesting expulsion, it's just not right for your child.

As a DC taxpayer, I'm appalled at the idea of a charter expelling a child for what aounds like age-typical behavior. If charters are skimming the most docile kids and leaving DCPS to educate the hard-to-manage, that's not fair.

[Anonymous]

For what it's worth, school isn't mandatory for three year olds so it's much easier to kick them out vs an older student in a mandatory school age grade.

And yeah charters have the reputation, deserved or not for cherry picking and kicking out whatever students they don't want to work with.

I agree with what was said upthread about either finding a different school or advocating different behavior plan for your kid.

[Anonymous]

wow, this describes my kid to a TEE (and he does throw things). Can't wait to start him in school next year....

[Anonymous]

Has your son/daughter had a psych evaluation by the school's clinical psychologist/school counselor. 3 year olds have a host of normative and non-normative mental health issues that can create inappropriate classroom behavior. Perhaps you should have your son evaluated, this could bolster your position that the school needs to accomodate your son/or help him get the mental health support he might need.

[Anonymous]

OP here, his behavior has been consistent. He was getting better but the teacher says he regressed after the winter break. DC says no to me but I handle it. I agree this is typical for his age and by no means warrant expulsion. I will listen to their suggestions but this is not the appropriate school for my DC. Learning is more than knowing your A,B,Cs and 1, 2, 3s. I don't know about pulling him out so late in the year though. That may be even harder for him. Also he has a twin sister and I would have to transfer her as well.

[Anonymous]

Twin parent here. Sounds like this may be a teacher issue more than a school issue. Our twins needed a year together in preschool to transition to separate classes. Unfortunately the teacher kept referring to them as "the twins" and didn't seem to understand how different they were. (Fraternal. Very fraternal.) The head of school was fine, but it was a small school so we didn't have a lot of choices for teachers. At a different pre-K, we found teachers who collaborated more and seemed to "get" that sometimes development is a little different for twins than singletons. Our twins had some time together during the day, but mostly were in separate groups. After K we were at a bigger school with more twins and more classrooms per grade. Things worked out.

Expulsion for anything non-safety related at 3 years old is ridiculous IMHO.

Have you asked to meet with the head of the school or the school counselor? Perhaps your kids could be put in the same class, presumably with a better teacher, for the remainder of the year. Definitely talk to other parents who know you or your kids at school to see if they've heard of expulsions. This teacher may just be a bad apple.

I wouldn't worry about testing PP suggested. Your kids are too young for anything academically bsubstantive to come out of it unless one or the other is clearly off the charts in behavior. If you do pursue testing, make sure the testers are very, very familiar with twin dynamics and try to have both evaluated.

But it doesn't sound like testing is necessary.

GL at school. Congrats on making through the first 3 years!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For what it's worth, school isn't mandatory for three year olds so it's much easier to kick them out vs an older student in a mandatory school age grade.

And yeah charters have the reputation, deserved or not for cherry picking and kicking out whatever students they don't want to work with.

I agree with what was said upthread about either finding a different school or advocating different behavior plan for your kid.

Wrong. Charters cannot easily expel 3 year-olds. Nobody can, nor should they. OP, this is not a problem with your DC, it's a problem with the school. They CANNOT expel your child for the behavior you are describing. If I were you, I would roar back that if they have a problem following the law, I'd be happy to have my lawyer take their call. The teacher may be a complete idiot (good reason to transfer, regardless of conflicts), but the administration should know better - and know that they're vulnerable.

Don't be bullied here.

[Anonymous]

can you try to have your child transferred to another class in the same school? frm your description sounds you have a lousy teacher. my just turned 4yo says no all the time and refuses to clean up, her teacher at the day care deals with her very well, every day. your teacher is lazy, and not a good teacher IMO

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a meeting tomorrow with my DC's pk-3 teacher. He says my DC does not listen to him and repeatedly says no. He goes in time out quite frequently but is not violent. He has never hit a student, used foul language and doesn't throw objects in the class. School is new to him and he is having a hard time adjusting to authority. He is has a good heart and is the class helper. The teacher is threatening to expel him. I know he should listen to the teacher but I think this is a bit extreme. Would like to know if other parents have experienced this? And of course I am talking about a charter school (not one of the most sought after either).

1. If you have the opportunity to look for a different program next year, please explore it. There are many wonferful DC Public and Public Charter Schools. It does not sound as if this teacher has the skills / experience to manage the classroom.
2. Many schools with 3 and 4YOs had challenges adjusting back to the routines and the rules after winter break. My child is at a "sought after" school and each week post winter break they have been focusing on 1 of the classroom rules.
3. Going from time outs to expel seems quite extreme. Please work with school leadership and specialists to see how you can salvage some of this year.

[Anonymous]

OP, you're describing very typical 3 year old behavior. Of course your son regressed after a 2-week break. But to regress that means he made progress adjusting to school, right?

This sounds like a very bad teacher who can't handle this behavior. It sounds like the teacher is using time outs when he doesn't know how to handle the situation. Any decent preschool teacher has the tools to redirect a child to achieve the goals, such as cleaning up.

I agree with 16:46. As a parent, I urge you to get your son away from this teacher, and as a taxpayer I'm livid that you and your son are being treated this way. I'm very concerned about a teacher threatening expulsion. Does he know there will be no consequence with the administration for his outrageous behavior?

Is your daughter in the same class? If a different class, could you have your son moved into the same class?

Good luck OP and if there's any way for you to send your kids to another school, I would do it. Application season is open right now. Good luck and please report back.