It's time to stop tolerating cruelty on DCUM

[Anonymous]

Posted on "Off Topic"

The Cruelty Crisis: Bullying Isn't a School Problem, It's a National Pastime (and 100% tolerated here. IF DCUM ISN'T PART OF THE SOLUTION IT IS PART OF THE PROBLEM).

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/ordinary-courage/201010/the-cruelty-crisis-bullying-isnt-school-problem-its-national-pastime


Poignant excerpts from the article:

Exclusion, humiliation, gossiping, name-calling, and cutthroat alliances - we can't get enough! We panic when these behaviors are directed at our own children and we express outrage when the consequences turn deadly, but over the past few years we, the adults, have turned cruelty into entertainment and sport.

As our fear, uncertainty, and feelings of vulnerability increase, cruelty becomes an acceptable way for us to discharge our pain and discomfort. Rather than doing the difficult work of embracing our own vulnerabilities and imperfections, we expose, attack, or ridicule what is vulnerable and imperfect about others

Courage and compassion are not ideals; they are daily practices. The TV shows that we allow in our homes, the way we discuss politics and social issues, the way we handle altercations at the grocery story - these are choices with real consequences. Bullying is a serious problem in schools, but we are all accountable for the cruelty crisis that is fueling these behaviors. The answer to the bullying problem starts with this question: Do we have the courage to be the adults that our children need us to be?

[Anonymous]

DCUM can be vicious no doubt. But it's a CHOICE to come on here. To compare it to kids who are bullied at school, where they are forced to be, is absurd and insulting to people who have been the victims of actual bullying.

[jsteele]

I responded to the post in off-topic so I won't duplicate my response here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DCUM can be vicious no doubt. But it's a CHOICE to come on here. To compare it to kids who are bullied at school, where they are forced to be, is absurd and insulting to people who have been the victims of actual bullying.

It is also a CHOICE to be cruel. As the article stated (which happens to be written by a highly respected quantitative researcher and best selling author on shame & vulnerability) WE are all accountable for the cruelty crisis that is fueling these BULLYING behaviors seen in our young. The answer to the bullying problem starts with this question: Do we have the courage to be the adults that our children need us to be?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM can be vicious no doubt. But it's a CHOICE to come on here. To compare it to kids who are bullied at school, where they are forced to be, is absurd and insulting to people who have been the victims of actual bullying.

It is also a CHOICE to be cruel. As the article stated (which happens to be written by a highly respected quantitative researcher and best selling author on shame & vulnerability) WE are all accountable for the cruelty crisis that is fueling these BULLYING behaviors seen in our young. The answer to the bullying problem starts with this question: Do we have the courage to be the adults that our children need us to be?

It has nothing to do with courage. I reject the premise of your straw man argument.

There are no children here anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM can be vicious no doubt. But it's a CHOICE to come on here. To compare it to kids who are bullied at school, where they are forced to be, is absurd and insulting to people who have been the victims of actual bullying.

It is also a CHOICE to be cruel. As the article stated (which happens to be written by a highly respected quantitative researcher and best selling author on shame & vulnerability) WE are all accountable for the cruelty crisis that is fueling these BULLYING behaviors seen in our young. The answer to the bullying problem starts with this question: Do we have the courage to be the adults that our children need us to be?

It has nothing to do with courage. I reject the premise of your straw man argument.

There are no children here anyway.

It has everything to do with courage. It takes a great deal of courage to hold ourselves accountable and stop pretending like what we're doing here doesn't have a huge impact on other people.

[Anonymous]

And some of us have even higher authorities to whom we must hold ourselves accountable. Much of what I've seen on dcurbanassholes is women shaming other women. Or trying to see how clever they can be. It is a cruel website.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And some of us have even higher authorities to whom we must hold ourselves accountable. Much of what I've seen on dcurbanassholes is women shaming other women. Or trying to see how clever they can be. It is a cruel website.

If you hate this website that much and yet you still come on here, I think it's time for some self-reflection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And some of us have even higher authorities to whom we must hold ourselves accountable. Much of what I've seen on dcurbanassholes is women shaming other women. Or trying to see how clever they can be. It is a cruel website.

I agree. Lots of people on here basically troll around getting off on how to best try to get a rise out of somebody or just be rude for fun. Like


You are upset about <Blank>? I love it, makes me so happy. You must be fat and on meds.

[Anonymous]

and poor and not in the top 1% . . .

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:And some of us have even higher authorities to whom we must hold ourselves accountable. Much of what I've seen on dcurbanassholes is women shaming other women. Or trying to see how clever they can be. It is a cruel website.

You might want to touch base with your higher authority. You appear to be trying to see how clever you can be and not making a particularly good showing of it.