Should I end my potty training nightmare tomorrow?

[Anonymous]

Today I tried to potty train my 32 month old b/g twins. DS- 6 accidents in the AM, DD- 2 accidents in the AM. Zero accidents in the PM-- but here's the kicker-- No one went to the bathroom on the potty. They just held it in in the afternoon. My daughter obviously had to go, but requested a diaper to do it and refused to go on the toilet.

They know what to do and have a multitude of incentives to use the toilet, but they refuse. The day was jam packed with crying.

Should I just give up or keep going tomorrow?

Any thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Give it up. Let them do it when they want to--it'll be so much easier on everyone that way.

[Anonymous]

I would recommend holdding off a bit. Contray to popular belief, 32 months is still on the younger side of the spectrum from my experience. Continue to to give positive encouragement, asking if they want to go to potty at a regular time, for example before a bat of before/after brushing teeth in the evening. If they push back, don't force it. Eventually they will get interested and potty training will be a breeze.

[Anonymous]

If they are simply refusing to go on the potty then it might be worth abandoning the experiment for now and trying again in 6 weeks or so. Perhaps to talk to them about how eventually they will have to start using the potty, and lay the groundwork with some appropriate potty training books.

[Anonymous]

I also agree that 32 months is kind of early (esp for the boy). My DS is nearly 3 and a half and is finally poop trained but not totally pee trained. It is totally not worth it in the end to push, bribe, etc them. They will do it when they are ready even if they are close to 4 yrs old. I started a potty schedule w/ my son so now he goes before getting dressed, anytime before we leave the house, after his nap, etc. The rest of the day it is up to him to let me know (which he rarely does). Just taking away diapers isn't the way to train them.

[Anonymous]

OP here: Thanks for your responses. What folks said was kinda how I felt, so I was going to just put them both back in diapers Sunday AM. When they woke up, both indicated that they wanted to wear underpants. DS had a few more accidents and had no interest in sitting on the potty. Needless to say, he is in diapers again. He is just not ready. DD had one accident, but has been very good and controlling her bladder. But still no action in the toilet. She is willing to sit on the potty now and even has a little bit of concentration, so I feel like we may be getting somewhere. I am going to give it a few more days, but I am not going to stress about it. It's just that many kids in their preschool are trained, so I thought that I should get it moving. But I agree that you can really only do so much. You can lead a horse to water--- but you can't make him pee!

Thanks again.

[Anonymous]

I have been thinking about this in the context of dealing with my own (DD, DD, DD) potty training issues. All I can say is:
- I don't believe this is something that warrents going 'cold turkey' There are good days and bad days
- It's great if you get kids interested in going to the potty. Sometimes I feign ambivilence and let them DEMAND to go to the potty
- Elmo's 'potty time' is money in the bank (believe me)
- Don't let them think you see this as a fight - they will make it one
- Bribery is good

I have a four year old who is going dry at night (not one leak yet_. A two-and-some year old who goes to the potty all the time and has yet to actually pee in it and and one-something year old who already wants off with the nappy and on to the potty.

They are all different.

But don't make it a battle because you'll set a pattern of trouble.

[Anonymous]

Try not to compare your children to those in preschool. I too felt embarrassed and like a terrible/lazy parent when I thought all of the kids in my DD's preschool were trained but her. She just wasn't ready and my anxiousness and neurosis was turning it into an incredibly frustrating battle. I eased up and at 3.5 yo she 'got it' and was completely trained in a couple of days. Turns out not as many kids in her class were trained either.

[Anonymous]

staying at home with no diaper on worked wonders for my son...easier in the summer though. i tried at 3 and gave up and tried again 3 months later and he was trained in about 3 days.