How do you explain god to your kids if you don't believe in one?

[Anonymous]

My child is going to start at a religious preschool in the fall (for a variety of reasons that are right for our family). It's the religion I grew up in, so it won't be foreign to me. However as an adult I no longer believe in god. My husband is also not religious and we've never mentioned god to our children (our older child went to secular preschool so never an issue). I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to say when I get the inevitable questions. Something like "some people believe this..., but I don't and you should make up your own mind..."


If you don't believe in god, what have you told your children about it?

[Anonymous]

I tell them about all sorts of things that different people believe in. Just say it like it is. I think you will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Yes, because both sides of our family are religious - Christian on one side and Muslim on the other. We tell out kids that most people believe in God, but Daddy and I aren't sure God exists. Be respectful of others' beliefs, and the most important thing is to be kind to others.

[Anonymous]

I treat it like "mythology" == the ways people tell stories to explain the world around them. This has happened for a long time. Like ancient egyptians didn't understand that the earth rotates around the sun, so they thought there were gods who carried the sun across the sky every day. Now, some people don't understand how the world started, so they say it's that God made it, etc., but that scientists think that the earth started (really simplified theory here)

[Anonymous]

Teach them about as many different faith traditions as possible--Hindu, Native American, Aztec, Christian, etc, etc... Since these are all completely incompatible, there's no reason to get into "this is true and this isn't" etc... If they ask you what you believe, tell 'em what you believe. They're stories that a lot of people think are real.

[Anonymous]

Yup, like PP, I treat religions as mythology. I don't mind teaching about Christianity when it comes up just as I don't mind teaching about Greek mythology. So far, it's been a non-issue in our lives, and it's been easy to explain things using this approach.

[Anonymous]

"Many people believe x,y, and z." My son is 7 now, but we started the conversation when he was in preschool. I tell him a little about popular religions, sort of like a mini religious studies class. I'm honest about what I believe, and explain that religion is different than science, and that his questions would be answered differently by different people for that reason. When he asks why different people believe different things I tell him that many believe what their families believe and it is best to think about things as he grows up, learn as much as he can about different belief systems and come to his own conclusions when he understands religion a little better.

[Anonymous]

Whyare you sending him to a religious school when you do not believe in God? You are going to confuse him no end.

[Anonymous]

Same way I deal with Santa. I am all in until they figure it out themselves. The holes present themselves quite the same way the whole Santa thing works.

[Anonymous]

My child had books of Bible stories, and Veggietales movies that people gave him. I'd read the books to him, as well as books I purchased that portrayed stories from other religions, and told him "These are stories that some people believe are true, and some people believe are just stories. You can think for yourself and decide what you believe" of course he asked what I believed and I told him "I believe that they are stories, wonderful stories, stories we can learn from because they have important messages but not something that actually happened. Your Nana believes something different, she believes that these stories come from God, but they aren't literally true (I'm thinking Old Testament stories here such as creation, my mom is a Christian but not a Creationist), they are stories God told men so that we could learn. Your Grandma (DH's husband who is an Evangelical Christian and a Creationist) believes that these stories are true, that these things happened exactly the way they are written here."

My kid wasn't confused, he developed his own theology which was a little interesting, and it's changed as he's grown, but he was never particularly confused, or rather, he was no more confused than he was by other adult things like taxes and elections and why the Dr. gave him shots that he didn't want. All things I tried to explain to him but where his understanding is still pretty incomplete.

[Anonymous]

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[Anonymous]

+1 on the mythology explanation.

My kids have read a ton of Greek and Roman mythology. They understand the Judeo-Christian god to be the same kind of myth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I treat it like "mythology" == the ways people tell stories to explain the world around them. This has happened for a long time. Like ancient egyptians didn't understand that the earth rotates around the sun, so they thought there were gods who carried the sun across the sky every day. Now, some people don't understand how the world started, so they say it's that God made it, etc., but that scientists think that the earth started (really simplified theory here)

If this is your approach then you should not choose a religious school for your child.

Of all the responses, this is the most disrespectful given the circumstances. Stick with secular schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whyare you sending him to a religious school when you do not believe in God? You are going to confuse him no end.

I disagree. I am not a Christian nor a Jew or any other formal religion. I sent my daughter to a wonderful jewish preschool (Childrens Learning Center in Rockville- not many people know about this lovely place that has been around for 35 years or so). I happened to be working nearby at the time and also in thinking about the values they taught, I realized I had complete alignment with those values. They were not heavy handed with the God talk, and my daughter learned so many holidays and songs and traditions that I frankly wish she could still be experiencing. But I always spoke to her about God as a word that means different things to different people and that some people do not believe in God at all.

She understands God to be a concept that can be explored at will. She understands about myths, about the idea that people have systems of thought. She is now 7. During her preschool days when she would sometimes say things like "God can do anything" I would engage her in a sort of questioning/exploratory process of what that word means and what other explanations there are for the way the world works and things that happen.

I find conversations about god to be opportunities for thinking about what really matters in life: being good to one another, helping those in need, being honest, caring about the planet, being thristy for knowledge, and so on.

OP you will be fine. You have walked the walk and your journey can be shared honestly with your child. Let him ask the questions and just answer them honestly. However, If you dont want your current beliefs to be broadcast right back to the school, I would advise keeping things general "Some people end up believeing more in God and some people end up believing less. But the important thing to remember is ______" or "Mommy do you still believe in God?" could be answered with a "Im not sure anymore, but I know that _____"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same way I deal with Santa. I am all in until they figure it out themselves. The holes present themselves quite the same way the whole Santa thing works.

I agree with this with one major exception: As I told my DD when she figured out Santa…through the years I've gone to great lengths to pretend to be Santa, the tooth fairy, leprechauns, and moved our elf on the shelf, and lord knows what else. However I've never pretended to be God for you.

Whether or not you believe in God, this is an important distinction. Because no adults do believe in Santa/tooth fairy/etc but many adults do believe in God.