Tell me it gets better

[Anonymous]

DH and I just bought a house. Why is it so hard the first few years? We are both in our 40s. I can't see any significant raises on the horizon. But I do see the end of daycare and child support. Both happen in 3 years. Will I make myself crazy if I make a 36 month calendar???? We're 6 months in so only 30 more to go. Today just seems so hard. I know the 2% tax relief was ending but seeing more of reduction just hurt.

Yes, I realize that we probably should have waited the 3 years to buy the house. But our oldest started K in the fall and we wanted her to be in her school and not transfer in first or second grade.

[Anonymous]

I've found making a calendar helps a LOT with my morale, OP. Just checking off the months before financial freedom (in my case paying off grad school) as you go along is weirdly satisfying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've found making a calendar helps a LOT with my morale, OP. Just checking off the months before financial freedom (in my case paying off grad school) as you go along is weirdly satisfying.

Thank you. It's just one of those days when the world seems overwhelming. I think a nice calendar this weekend is in order.

[Anonymous]

You are paying child support?

[Anonymous]

you are paying child support?

[Anonymous]

Yes - make the calendar! 6 months down and 30 to go is not that bad - you will definitely get there, and it will go by much quicker than you think right now. In just a snap, you'll be on here telling us you just tore off that last page of the calendar. Good luck.

And I'm glad you bought the house to get your daughter settled in. That's worth a lot if she's happy.

[Anonymous]

I did that! DH was paying child support for my two (wonderful) kids, plus college!
I started counting the years, not days, till that last child support check was signed. Not because his children didnt deserve the support, they did and they got it and then some (paying all college for both too), but because the ex was counting on that money to support her own lifestyle.

Anyhow, signed the last CS check 2 yrs ago, paid for one to get through college and how paying for the second in college. 2 yrs to go or 24 months

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did that! DH was paying child support for my two (wonderful) kids, plus college!
I started counting the years, not days, till that last child support check was signed. Not because his children didnt deserve the support, they did and they got it and then some (paying all college for both too), but because the ex was counting on that money to support her own lifestyle.

Anyhow, signed the last CS check 2 yrs ago, paid for one to get through college and how paying for the second in college. 2 yrs to go or 24 months

OP here....I'm familiar with that plan. The reason I love DH is that he a man of his word. He promised his ex that she could be a SAHM. Of course that was before they got divorced. But he kept his word. So he fully supports her and her household. I knew this when I started dating him. The reason I could strangle my husband is because he continues to enable her to SAHM at the expensive of my household. As for her, the lazy, no good, piece of #$@#, she needs to get off her a$$ and get a job already. But of course that's not my battle to fight and I knew the deal going into my marriage. 30 months to go....30 months to go.....College is already set up for the older kids so there won't be that much more out of pocket once the CS stops.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes - make the calendar! 6 months down and 30 to go is not that bad - you will definitely get there, and it will go by much quicker than you think right now. In just a snap, you'll be on here telling us you just tore off that last page of the calendar. Good luck.

And I'm glad you bought the house to get your daughter settled in. That's worth a lot if she's happy.

Thank you for the encouragement. It's what I need tonight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did that! DH was paying child support for my two (wonderful) kids, plus college!
I started counting the years, not days, till that last child support check was signed. Not because his children didnt deserve the support, they did and they got it and then some (paying all college for both too), but because the ex was counting on that money to support her own lifestyle.

Anyhow, signed the last CS check 2 yrs ago, paid for one to get through college and how paying for the second in college. 2 yrs to go or 24 months

OP here....I'm familiar with that plan. The reason I love DH is that he a man of his word. He promised his ex that she could be a SAHM. Of course that was before they got divorced. But he kept his word. So he fully supports her and her household. I knew this when I started dating him. The reason I could strangle my husband is because he continues to enable her to SAHM at the expensive of my household. As for her, the lazy, no good, piece of #$@#, she needs to get off her a$$ and get a job already. But of course that's not my battle to fight and I knew the deal going into my marriage. 30 months to go....30 months to go.....College is already set up for the older kids so there won't be that much more out of pocket once the CS stops.

Hang in there- you can make it through anything for 30 months. And even though I would have a hard time with the situation you described also, your husband is clearly a good man. For that- you won the lottery