Will my kid ever sleep at daycare??

[Anonymous]

My 16 month old is in daycare part-time at a Bright Horizons. She's been there for nearly 6 months and still doesn't get regular naps in. For example, today she took one 25 minute nap. As expected, this make her absolutely miserable and cranky in the evenings from when we get home until bedtime. Is there anything we can do? I even brought in her white noise stuffed animal to see if that would make a difference, but they can't put in in crib or hang it near crib, only on the shelf above it so who knows if she's even hearing it at all. I"m sure part of the issue is that because all infants are on their own schedule, the lights must stay on and i'm sure its not that quiet. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like she'll be moving to the toddler room (where they all nap together and turn off lights) anytime soon - they are at full capacity and there are at least 3 kids in the infant room older than her who would move first.

On her off days when we're home she takes two 1-1.5 hour naps everyday without a problem. She is a good sleeper in general and has slept through the night since 8 week.

Anyone have experience with this? Any hope it will change? Any suggestions? Help.

[Anonymous]

This place obviously isn't working for her. Maybe you should consider somewhere else...maybe an in-home day care would be more flexible with her. Check with Infant Toddler if you're in VA (you didn't say).

FWIW, we are on the waitlist to get into a BH center. Not sure I want it now, because DS naps horribly when he's with me (clueless FTM) but napped great his first experience at an in-home day care, at least according to the provider.

[Anonymous]

The center isn't working for your child, and sleep is very important. I would have found a new situation months ago.

[Anonymous]

Neither of my children napped well at daycare until they switched to the toddler room where everyone was on the same one-nap-a-day schedule. From there on out though, things went well.

How many days a week is she in care? Our first was only at his center 2 days a week, which I think contributed to the problem as he never got into a good routine there. We had a bit more luck with our second child who was there for naptime five days a week.

You might consider going down to one nap both at daycare and at home, so at least she's on the same schedule in both places since you're probably nearing the age to do so anyhow. My second child just would not take a morning nap at daycare. We switched him to one nap at home as well at 12 months, which marginally improved things at daycare (he'd sleep about an hour there, wake up, then fall back asleep for another 30 minutes or so on the daycare worker's shoulder... luckily all the other kids were sleeping at that point, so they could indulge him).

Have you tried talking to the daycare workers and seeing if they can work with you to find a solution? Are you otherwise happy there? We muddled through the sleep issues with both because we were otherwise very happy with the care they were receiving, but I still feel a bit bad about it and had circumstances been different, would have looked into other options for when they were very young.

[Anonymous]

This is one reason why I never understood why people were so up in arms about putting infants on a schedule. Sure, in the "fourth trimester" anything goes. But by 6-8 months, it is fine.

My perspective may be different because my baby was not a good napper until day care (6 months). But in that infant room, all the babies napped at 1-3 (plus am nap). The lights were all out 1-3 and it was quiet.

[Anonymous]

Same as PP- my DD's sleep was awful until she got to the toddler room. She never slept more than 30 min a day. Now she sleeps 2 hours on average.

This might be a moot point for you now that your kid is already a toddler but we used to be at a BH and they did an awful job of maintaining any kind of separation between infants that were awake and those that were up. Will you DC transition soon? If so, I'd hang in there at BH. If not, well, then sleeping doesn't sound like your only issue with BH right now- I'd look elsewhere. Given the astronomical costs of BH, they should be more accommodating.

[Anonymous]

i am otherwise happy there but part of it is definitely because it convenient and she could stay in a quality program through preschool. its also very difficult to find part-time care that is open past 5:30 pm and we need that to accomodate work schedules.

she is there 3 days a week and some days are better than others as far as napping, but its definitely way less than what she gets at home. i have talked to them but they just say they try to put her down at least twice and she often "refuses." on non-daycare days when we are out and about, she'll sleep in the car and be fine mood wise (so not getting two structured naps on off days and she's still okay).

she was in an in-home for a few months before BH (from 6 to 9 months) and she didn't really nap well there either. they would have to put her in a swaddle sack even though she was way too big for that. the provider also complained a few times that she wouldn't nap and "woke" all the other kids up during the nap time.

i feel safer with the greater degree of regulation found at a center and there are few center choices where i live. the in home we were in was shiny and new but they didn't follow regulations with ratio and had other issues and i was uncomfortable with the lack of oversight that in homes seem to have.

we're also expecting a new baby soon so i'm not keen on moving her right now when she is familiar there and the rest of her world is about to be turned upside down.

[Anonymous]

Ask if she can at least go the toddler room for naps. It's worth a try...

[Anonymous]

One of my issues with BH was how crappy they deal with transitions. A 16 mo old should not still be in an infant room.

[Anonymous]

21:27 again. OP- I'd try demanding the transition to the toddler room then (greasy wheel gets the spoon...) then. The main reason is that the transition can be really tough on little ones so it would be so much better to have successfully completed it before your next one arrives. Then there is the sleep issue and the fact that you DC belongs with other kids her age. You're also probably paying infant rates longer than anticipated, right?

[Anonymous]

Greasy wheel gets the oil. That's the saying right? Sorry! Don't know what's wrong with me! I just made no sense.

[Anonymous]

Oh God. Me again. Sorry. Squeaky wheel gets the geese. But you get what I was saying anyway, right.

[Anonymous]

Does she doze during the commute to daycare? That completely wrecked my DC's napping when we had a half-hour ride downtown on the way to daycare (although at a younger age than OP's kid). When we switched to a daycare 5 minutes from home, the napping got much better.

[Anonymous]

I like the idea of asking if she can go to toddler room for naps. Maybe I'll see if they are open to that. I think though that they sleep on those floor cots instead if cribs and I have no clue how'd she do with that.

I've been told there is no chance of transitioning up anytime soon - like I said there are at least 3 other children in the "infant room" who are older than her and they transition oldest first obviously. So she is with children mostly her own age in the infant room - I know one is 18 months, another is 21 months. They said most of the movement, when it occurs happens in summer when kids transition out to older preschools/kindergarten etc

[Anonymous]

OP here - doesn't sleep on way to daycare but falls asleep immediately when I pick her up so she's clearly exhausted. In fact I generally wish that ride was longer so she could sleep longer in the car.