How long do you give a neighborhood?

[Anonymous]

We moved into our new home last July (2011). We had looked a long time and found the house and we thought the neighborhood. Our DD is an only child so a neighborhood was important to me to get a "community" feel. I truly never see kids outside. The neighbors are friendly for a wave or two and a quick convo, but beyond that - nothing. It seems everyone is too busy. There are no sidewalks and cars drive way too fast through the neighborhood. At the bus stop, the kids are older elementary - none my DD's age (1st grade). We really messed up. I'm so completely disappointed. I would like to pack it in and call it a loss and move, but who knows right? It's a crap shoot. My husband does not want to move. Any suggestions, tips, recommendations? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Ouch! I feel for you! I would think that by now you will know if you like your hood or not and it sounds like it is a 'not' for you. Hopefully new people will move in who you have something in common with otherwise you may have to put yourself out there and host a neighborhood bbq (in the summer) or something. We have two different neighbors who hosted large neighborhood parties and they were a lot of fun; everyone got to really get to know one another. i am surprised you didn't meet the whole block when the derecho came through this past June as that was a great way to meet people as you had a shared experience to talk about.

[Anonymous]

If the $ hit would be more than you can bear, try to "be the change you want to see in the world" bla bla bla.

Can you be the neighborhood social butterfly? Can you invite invite invite over for playdates, casual dinners (e.g., "We are putting a pot of spaghetti on, see you in 20 mins?"), birthday parties, holiday gatherings, pot lucks, and the like?

I'll tell you, I am an introvert. And busy-ish, but I do the things I mentioned above because even though I value my alone time, I also feel like if I don't know my neighbors I am seriously bummed out.

And I want my kids to feel connected.

And I don't mind a bit of mess in exchange for the wee bit of effort it takes to set an additional four settings.

And I don't give a sh!t about things being reciprocated. If I invite you, I invite you.

What do you think?

[Anonymous]

i like PP. think about the adult connections you can make, even if the kids are not the right age. the kid can make friends at school and have them over.

[Anonymous]

19:30 is right, try being more proactive and go ahead and organize things

[Anonymous]

Petworth? Does your child go to school in the nabe? If not, it's hard to feel as connected.

[Anonymous]

how many houses are in your neighborhood? If there are 200+ then other kids might move in eventually. Is there a neighborhood pool? That also brings kids together

[Anonymous]

Agree with joining a neighborhood pool if there is one.

[Anonymous]

Join a church/temple/Unitarian universalist congregation.

[Anonymous]

When we first moved into our neighborhood I felt the same way. There were many older families living in the homes-- not many kids. There has been substantial turnover since my children started preschool and now our neighborhood is teaming with children. I found that I made most of my connections with other families through my kids' schools.