attention at daycare

[Anonymous]

My 4 month old just started daycare 2 weeks ago and he can no longer sit content and play on his playyard without wanting to be picked up or being extra loud and vocal. He is in a FABULOUS daycare so I know it's not a thing of care. Everytime I have picked up DS he is either being held or entertained in some way. Prior to daycare entry we were starting to get into a groove where he could sit and play/coo at objects on his playyard for 20-30 minutes at a time and now I can barely get 5 minutes of this. And please, don't say some snide remark about me wanting to put my son on the playyard and not engage with him. I absolutely do this all the time. I just want to know whether it is possible that DS is getting too much attention at daycare or is this just a phase. Any other parents notice an increase in this sort of behavior after starting daycare.

thanks

[Anonymous]

I don't think it has anything to do with daycare (and, frankly, most people tend to complain their kids aren't being held enough at daycare if anything) - based on my experience with my 2 kids, at that age, your baby is increasingly interested in surroundings, wants to be more mobile, but isn't and just wants to see and do and learn and be engaged constantly so it's hard to get solo play I think with a lot of babies

[Anonymous]

According to any basic infant literature, you can not spoil a baby or hold a baby too much for the first six months.

[Anonymous]

I found it quite fishy that my child was always being held or entertained when I went to pick her up. It MAY BE that they may know when you're coming to pick them up and they pay extra attention to them?

[Anonymous]

What is happening to your db now has nothing to do with daycare and everything to do with the facts that db is beginning to engage in the world and db's personality is beginning to emerge. The amount of attention that your db needs from you will only increase from here on out until about 3 years old. At about 3, many children once again start to be able to spend chunks of time entertaining themselves again. But, for the next 2 and a half years, if your expectation is that your db will be able to go for extended periods without your interaction and supervision, then you need to adjust your expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is happening to your db now has nothing to do with daycare and everything to do with the facts that db is beginning to engage in the world and db's personality is beginning to emerge. The amount of attention that your db needs from you will only increase from here on out until about 3 years old. At about 3, many children once again start to be able to spend chunks of time entertaining themselves again. But, for the next 2 and a half years, if your expectation is that your db will be able to go for extended periods without your interaction and supervision, then you need to adjust your expectations.

This is very child-dependant. I totally agree that by around 4 months, the child wants a good view of the world and playyard probably doesn't provide that. though OP-- pretty soon you enter what I considered the glory days of the infant period--where DC can sit up alone, but is not yet mobile (except for rolling). I could run in and out of the room and DS could be sitting playing with a toy, and I knew he'd be in the same spot when I got back.

But my DS become very interested in trains at a pretty young age-- maybe 15-18 months, max. And he could sit there and run them back and forth on the floor, or line them up (once he was a little older) for an astounding period of time. I'd sometimes have to take them away to get him to do something else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I found it quite fishy that my child was always being held or entertained when I went to pick her up. It MAY BE that they may know when you're coming to pick them up and they pay extra attention to them?

I have gone at various times and they never know when to expect me.

[Anonymous]

This happened w/ our DD but around 6 months...she can't spend as long playing independently. I assumed it was a phase. Occurs at home and at daycare. It is at times frustrating b/c I can't get as much done at home, but I also know that this is just what her needs are right now. If she's crying, "Ma ma ma" and holding out her arms to be picked up, do you think I am not going to pick her up?? Of course I am. If I am doing something, I may tell her, "Just a second. I will be right there as soon as I am done doing x."

[Anonymous]

Where is your daughter in daycare? We are starting our DD next week and have been transitioning by taking her for small chunks of time. I'm becoming very concerned about whether the children are being engaged enough or if they are just being kept safe and having basic needs met. We saw more interaction on our tour and haven't seen it since. After waiting almost a year to get off the waiting list for this "top" center, I'm REALLY disappointed!!!

[Anonymous]

This is not a concern you should be HAPPY that your child is getting the attention they REQUIRE at such a young age.

Be thankful you have quality daycare, or request that the daycare leave your child in a playpen all day.

[Anonymous]

He misses mommy! After a day of daycare, children really want attention from mommy. It's normal and it doesn't reflect poorly on your daycare. If you need to get things done, try putting him where he can see you and talk to him while you are doing things. This may help.

[Anonymous]

I think the change is just a function of age. If you had kept him home with you full time, you would be seeing the exact same thing, and it is a reason that a lot of working spouses of at-home spouses wonder why the housework isn't done when they get home and the at-home spouse wants to do take out. Again.

It's not because he is getting attention all day at daycare. He'll be able to entertain himself a little longer around 6 months. Kids go in cycles.

[Anonymous]

I call it the baby rotation time. At this age, they like to do different things and usually have a short attention span for each thing. We go from the exersaucer to the bumbo to sitting on the floor to laying on the floor. They need stimulation at this age so it is normal for them to complain after 10 or so minutes.

[Anonymous]

I have an almost 5 mo, and I've recently noticed that he's much, much happier if he's sitting up to see the world rather than lying down or at least having toys in view when lying down. This morning he stopped fussing immediately when I propped him on a pillow so he could see better.

[Anonymous]

My 5.5 month old is also less content playing by himself than before - but I think it's because he's teething. He's just generally more irritable and unpredictable. One minute he's laughing at me and playing, the next he's clingy and quiet. Five minutes on his playmat are great, but in minute six he melts down...I think maybe he just doesn't feel well and can be distracted from that for a little while, but when there's a break in the action he remembers his mouth hurts. Any chance you've got an early teether?