I don't have $$ to buy my friends Xmas gifts this year

[Anonymous]

Just family will be a stretch...we are definitely thinning the budget this year.

Typically I don't go crazy, I spend $30 each on 5 or so friends. But it's just not in the cards. I know that some of them are in the same boat (recent life events for all of us) so I was thinking of either doing something homemade (food? craft things? mix CDs? share some recipes?), or ask them if they want to do a holiday get together and have a white elephant gift swap (gift limit $20).

Thoughts? I would love to buy them things as I usually do, but I just can't justify it - we have too much debt this year.

[Anonymous]

It is a natural and normal progression in life to quit buying presents for your friends. Most people I know stopped once they moved away from their college roommates.

The white elephant get together sounds like fun.

[Anonymous]

Do NOT do it. Make a nice photo card on your computer--send it out with some kind personal words inside. Grown ups should NOT be breaking the bank EVER to buy presents for other grown ups. It defies the meaning of being a grown-up, which is being responsible and understanding that actions have consequences.

[Anonymous]

We dropped most adult gifts long ago, even family (do a swap with family). What about a cookie exchange. Or some other kind of group activity.

[Anonymous]

Homemade goodies and a mix CD sound great! You could even put popular music from when you first met that person, or songs that mean something to you both.

[Anonymous]

Whatever you do, don't go into debt for a few hours of one day of the year.

[Anonymous]

I haven't bought Christmas or birthday presents for my friends since I left my 20s. Give it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just family will be a stretch...we are definitely thinning the budget this year.

Typically I don't go crazy, I spend $30 each on 5 or so friends. But it's just not in the cards. I know that some of them are in the same boat (recent life events for all of us) so I was thinking of either doing something homemade (food? craft things? mix CDs? share some recipes?), or ask them if they want to do a holiday get together and have a white elephant gift swap (gift limit $20).

Thoughts? I would love to buy them things as I usually do, but I just can't justify it - we have too much debt this year.

How about a holiday get-together with no gifts of any kind involved? If money is an issue for going out, make it a potluck.

What a relief that would be for everyone.

[Anonymous]

If you're looking for an idea, one that seems to be popular is to make homemade hot chocolate. There are a number of recipes on-line, but if you really want, I can try to dig up the one that I've used in the past. My recipe makes a huge bowl, of mix. Then get some nice jars or glass containers at the dollar store (I've gotten this in decorated mason jars) and decorate them. A tip I've stolen from another friend is to go to the fabric store, get some remnants from the holiday bin in reds and greens and sometimes you can even find holiday patterns, then wrap a piece of fabric around a jar and hold on with a piece of elastic cord or some fabric tape. Fill the container and write up the "recipe" for the mix on a card and tie it to the jar or the elastic cord. You can make a lot for a little amount of money and most everyone appreciates the hot chocolate as the weather gets cold.

[Anonymous]

Just talk to them! "Jan, I'm realizing that things are going to be too tight for us to do Christmas gifts for friends this year, but I'd love to spend some time together with you to celebrate the season."

Or, if they're out of town, have a good long phone call where you get caught up on each other's lives.

If money is tight, skip the white elephant gifts--why spend money on crap no one wants?

I do think it's a good idea to state your decision up front, so they're not scrambling to buy you a gift with money and time they don't have either.

[Anonymous]

I think a mix CD is a nice gift - I've given them to friends a few times when I made a mix for myself and thought someone else would like the songs.

If I were you, I'd suggest doing lunch together instead of gifts so nobody had to buy more gifts. Then you're spending what, $30 on your own lunch, instead of $150 on gifts.

[Anonymous]

Agree with all the above. Home-made or shared experiences make the most special gifts.

[Anonymous]

I honestly do not expect gifts from even my closest, dearest friends. However, for someone else to put in the time/planning necessary to host a casual potluck for all of us to hang out would be a far more wonderful gift than any "thing".