s/o Tell me about your weird family members.

[Anonymous]

If your life was "Everybody Loves Raymond," what would make it into the show? (no stories about bad stuff, just funny, weird stuff.)

My aunt has a big German Shepard, big even for a German Shepard. She babies him, almost literally. One example of many: She won't allow anyone to play tug-of-war with him using his Frisbee because she thinks it will damage his teeth. She's had many dogs through her life. But we just can't convince her that dogs play tug-of-war and it won't damage his giant teeth.

[Anonymous]

My in-laws have the horrendously 'so-bad-they-are hilarious' best friends. Some examples of their bad behavior: ranting about people taking advantage of the social security disability to my very disabled mother-in-law and how their taxes support her when she worked all her life to only go on disability from a congenital disease. Complaining about the lack of (blank) food at the party to anyone that will listen then the next year complain about a different food even though (blank) food was made in light of the complaints the previous year.

On and on. Oh, and these lovely folks are school teachers. Fun times.

[Anonymous]

I have an uncle who only talks about the civil war. No matter how the conversation starts, he is able to tie in something about the civil war, and go on and on and on about it. I mean it can be any topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an uncle who only talks about the civil war. No matter how the conversation starts, he is able to tie in something about the civil war, and go on and on and on about it. I mean it can be any topic.

Is he on the spectrum?

[Anonymous]

crazy jealous sister who does weird petty things. Example--she and family were recently at my parents. when they left my parents noticed all photos of my family, and particularly my children, were hidden behind photos of her family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:crazy jealous sister who does weird petty things. Example--she and family were recently at my parents. when they left my parents noticed all photos of my family, and particularly my children, were hidden behind photos of her family.

that's hilarious. I think you should draw mustaches on their photos!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an uncle who only talks about the civil war. No matter how the conversation starts, he is able to tie in something about the civil war, and go on and on and on about it. I mean it can be any topic.

NP here. FIL talks a lot about the civil war too. He's actually quite articulate on a range of subjects, but I guess the civil war is the only topic left to him after BIL and SIL announced they wouldn't come if our family did its usual pro-Obama rants. DH and I protested briefly that it might do BIL and SIL some good to get out of their Fox bubble, but no dice. So the civil war it is.

[Anonymous]

I have a cousin who has cotton balls in his ears, all the time.

[Anonymous]

Oh god I could go on for hours, I have a large crazy family, lots of alcoholics, recovering and otherwise. Lots of OCD and ADHD so it's pretty insane.
My brother scrubs up like he is going in to perform surgery while he rants about the drinkers. Most of my family who are still drinkers get this lazy eye when they drink so they all walk around like a bunch of Geckos looking in 2 different directions.
One aunt is a recovering coke addict, she once asked her Ped if cocaine gets in to breastmilk (we didn't know at the time) he immediately gave her a case of formula and begged her to switch to bottles. She left her dh for her drug treatment counselor.
Her kids are kind of a mess, one is a drunk lesbian who makes out with her girlfriends right in front of us all, her son thinks he is Eminem (except he grew up in Potomac) so that pretty entertaining.
Like I said I could go on and on, holidays are never ever boring with our family

[Anonymous]

I have an aunt who lives with my grandmother, and I am pretty sure she smokes pot in her bedroom every day. My grandmother has horrendous sinus issues, plus smokes in the house, so she is clueless about the pot.

I am pretty sure the same aunt is addicted to pain pills. The last time we visited, she left in the middle of our restaurant meal to go vomit. Same thing at my wedding last month -- she left before dinner because she was "sick" -- pretty sure she gets sick when she doesn't have the pills. She was sick the next morning, too.

She has some other health issues, so I think my grandmother just attributes the "stomach issues" to that (as did I for a long time until my sister clued me in).

I could go on with stories about this aunt and her sisters. My mother is a little out there, but nothing like her sisters!

[Anonymous]

My whole family is chock full of wierdos, but the weirdest is my brother. He was once second in command of a cult. He has this strange magnetic personality that can mentally subdue weak minded people. He carries around a copy of the bill of rights in his wallet and at my wedding I heard my sister say oh no "John" is breaking out the bill of rights and he proceeded to enlighten his table about how their rights were being trampled on. He also wears the same outfit everyday which he was also wearing at the wedding. To him paper money is worthless and every payday he buys bullion. Hmm, I wonder how much the bullion he gave me for a wedding present is worth now?

[Anonymous]

My mom and dad live next door to each other because when they split, they wanted to make it easier on me, and there happened to be a house on the market right nearby. Both still single, their pets keep them company. My mom has some cats and a dog, my dad has a few dogs of his own. On the weekends, my dad takes my mom's dog for a few hours so that my mom can "relax" and enjoy time with just the cats, since they were there first. He also mows her lawn and cleans the gutters. It's just the way it has always been, so it never has changed. While they are not hostile, they aren't exactly "friends" either and certainly won't ever reconcile in any way. I think they're both just kind of quirky and not overwhelmingly social, so they kind of "get" each other but aren't compatible as friends and certainly not as a couple. Nuts.

[Anonymous]

My DH had an uncle who is into the survivalist craziness. He made us each gigantic solar ovens last Christmas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom and dad live next door to each other because when they split, they wanted to make it easier on me, and there happened to be a house on the market right nearby. Both still single, their pets keep them company. My mom has some cats and a dog, my dad has a few dogs of his own. On the weekends, my dad takes my mom's dog for a few hours so that my mom can "relax" and enjoy time with just the cats, since they were there first. He also mows her lawn and cleans the gutters. It's just the way it has always been, so it never has changed. While they are not hostile, they aren't exactly "friends" either and certainly won't ever reconcile in any way. I think they're both just kind of quirky and not overwhelmingly social, so they kind of "get" each other but aren't compatible as friends and certainly not as a couple. Nuts.

This is incredibly sweet!

[Anonymous]

My brother is mentally ill and obsessed with Israel (we aren't Jewish, we're Christian). After we pray a blessing on the food, as we say Amen, he shouts "God bless Israel!"

He also regularly tells stories about his meeting immigrants on the street (usually Muslims or Hindus) and praying for them to receive Jesus. He then tells them "you aren't a Muslim anymore!" He's totally nuts. We don't know if these stories are really true.