Has anyone just give up and homeschooled?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
We have been limping through elementary school in DCPS with a smart kid who is just not able to function well enough even with help. It's depressing and damaging to him and the rest of the family. So we have been looking for private sped schools for middle school. We cannot possibly afford to pay full freight, but with the help of financial aid, we could really really scrimp and save and make what has to happen happen. It would be very hard and would be completely dependent on getting a significant amount of aid. We will not get funded, it's just not going to happen. The further concern is getting him to school every day and picking him up. It would be very difficult to continue in my current job and also get him to and from school. Aftercare would just make the traffic worse. The closest school that could be a fit takes at last 35 minutes each way. Then there's my other kid who would still need to be gotten to a separate school and picked up and is very sensitive to the idea of extra attention being paid to the sped kid. At this point, I'm feeling like we should just homeschool already. Not forever, but at least to repair some of the DCPS damage and just take a break. My thought is that we would do the DC on-line charter school supplemented with homeschooling classes, field trips, and paying someone to spend some time with him, take him for athletic outings (swimming, biking), while I get work done. Then we would have ample time to do therapies that are hard to fit around school hours and we wouldn't have to spend so much time repairing what happens at school. Has anyone else thought of this and made it happen, decided against it. Pros, cons that I haven't thought of?
Cons: really worried about socialization -- would love to find another kid or 2/3 to do cooperative classes with -- I would be happy to conduct the classes, honestly, for the benefit of the socialization for my son. Non-class activities would also be great -- meeting up for a trip to a museum, playing games together, etc. Just something that was regular socialization in addition to getting together with his current friends. Any ideas on finding these magical kids who would want to participate? I've been searching websites but haven't seen any ones that seemed to hook people up in this way. Having my son drive me crazy. However, I somewhat feel that 2 hours in the car every day (at least) IN traffic (which I cannot STAND), would not necessarily be worse than monitoring his school work and taking him out. I already have to monitor his homework (academically fine, but would prefer not to do it). I would absolutely be paying for help to get him away which I still figure would be cheaper than even partial payment of private school. Again, we don't have a lot of money, but I just can't watch another year of this, honestly. Having my son be a huge pain about doing his work. I'm hoping the on-line program helps with keeping the kids motivated? He likes to learn in general, just likes his free time too. Likes to jump around the house and play legos and be a kid. I think the decrease of sheer amount of stuff in his day, and therefore more time for free time, would make plowing through his work better? I'm sure there would be some awful days, but there are some awful days when he's at school too. I know I'm missing some thinking here. I feel like I'm letting the school system get away with failing to serve him. I feel like I'm crazy for thinking I can take this on. And yet I feel like I could, with professional help, do a lot of healing of his little soul and get him ready to rejoin some sort of group school situation. Please be gentle. I know it's not a perfect solution, but might it be the best one for a year or 2? |
Anonymous
| *given* -- before anyone tells me I don't know enough grammar to homeschool! |
Anonymous
|
One thing you didn't mention is wouldn't you also have to "scrimp" if you home school b/c you'd be quitting your job?
My second concern is that you couldn't find local homeschooling websites. A two second google search for me turned up lots of hits. These are only a couple: http://www.homeschoolingindc.com/support/supportgroups/localgroups.aspx http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/dc-parents-choosing-to-home-school-their-children/2011/08/24/gIQAwIFi7J_story_2.html My sense is that you're not really prepared to take this on. Not saying you shouldn't do it, but I think you need to thoroughly think it through. Also, I would look at Auburn School. They have a great scholarship program. GL |
Anonymous
| I have not given up yet but I have seriously considered it. We're having a good year so I am not thinking about it right now but I will if I feel the need in the future. There are more parents like us than you think. I live in VA, close in, and there are a lot of homeschoolers, unschoolers, coops, and many are offering fascinating classes. I would try to get on whatever the biggest listserve is in DC and explore the possibilities. |
Anonymous
| Have you considered hiring a lawyer to see if you can sue the school district to cover private school tuition? |
Anonymous
|
Thx for the feedback. Sorry if I wasn't clear. I did find several homeschooling sites and saw that there are many classes, just didn't see, necessarily, a good way to meet up with other kids relatively nearby. I just worry that everything else would get in the way and it would be a constant search.
I couldn't do part of what I do now for work if I home schooled, but there's other things I could do if I were spending 2 1/2 plus hours/day in the car. it's complicated, but I work for myself and need to be home/in the neighborhood, not driving across town. We are applying to Auburn and have high hopes but still worry about the drive. We have an attorney and she doesn't think we could get funded, despite DCPS's failures. It's complicated, but they are dead set against funding our kid. I will continue to search for websites and classes. I saw a lot of great classes, but consistency is important with my son so finding a set cohort of kids (or relatively set) would be important. I know I'm not ready for this yet, but think maybe if I'm preparing all year I could do it next year? Thx for the feedback -- keep it coming! |
Anonymous
| Really think about it OP. My sister started homeschooling my niece in 4th grade and things went ok for a year and than the math and science really started to get complicated. And my sister has two master degrees (granted in language fields so not math or science) so it isn't like she is undereducated. She started spending an hour or two every night preparing for lessons, she was basically reteaching herself everything before teaching my niece and it ended up taking an increditable amount of time and energy. Eventually it was too much of a strain on her other children, her marriage, and her life in general. She enrolled in 6 th grade this year and things seem to be going ok. I post this just to remind you that it is not just sitting down with your kid 5 hours a day, it takes so much time and dedication. |
Anonymous
| I'm going to suggest moving. DCPS is not an ideal environment. |
Anonymous
| I was going to suggest moving too. DCPS has few acceptable options for middle and high school so it's only going to get worse anyway. |
Anonymous
| I agree - I would move before trying to homeschool. At a certain point in higher grades it's really hard to keep up with the material. |
Anonymous
| I would definitely move before attempting home school and I have a masters in education. I have found my child responds much better to teachers and others than me when it comes to doing schoolwork. It's a battle just doing homework, can't imagine doing that all day. Not sure your childs needs but I have been so happy here in FCPS for my ASD child. |
Anonymous
| Or consider a hybrid approach, with you homeschooling part of the day and with your DC seeing a tutor for deficit areas. Tutoring fees can get costly, but even at private schools, students rarely get 1-1 attention to bring up academic skills. The socialization is not that big an issue ... a couple activities is enough. There are homeschool book clubs, lego league teams, and other academic or social groups. I home schooled 3 years and it helped my DC with social and academic issues. FCPS is far from a panacea for SPED kids ... probably better than DCPS, but it is not a sure thing that it would solve the problems. |
Anonymous
| I just finished a book -- One Good Year -- about a mom who did just this for her dd's fifth grade year. It was very interesting, and she's very honest about the pros and cons. I suggest you read it. |
Anonymous
NP here-But move where? DCPS (ward 3 school) provides better SPED than anything in VA or MD...OP, the specter of having your DS drive you crazy is very real. That is the main reason I don't do it. It would harm our already strained to the breaking point relationship. |
Anonymous
|
OP here again. Good points continue. I'm not as worried about curriculum because I would only do it using the DC public charter online school. I would also do tutoring for problem areas. I'm much more worried about getting him to actually do the work (I'm sure it woukd start out all sunshine and happiness and then a few weeks in it would start getting ugly. I'm also worried about him driving me crazy and time and energy for that and other kid and making some money.
Really hard to move. We have an incredible support system in place where we are, we already moved the other kid once so both kids could go to a "better" DCPS and that was hard enough. Both kids have close friend's in the neighborhood. Not sure that any one school or school system is so good as to make up for what we would lose. Plus my work is right here in our neighborhood. I am terrified about the actual day-to-day grind of it but I'm also terrified about 1 1/2-2 hours a day in the car with my son |