Helpful Responses Needed

[Anonymous]

I am an African-American mom new to the DC Area. My DH and I have a son who will attend Kindergarten next year. He is a capable, inquisitive and articulate five year old who loves to learn. In the past we have had great difficult finding schools that embrace children with characteristics such as these. However upon our arrival in DC we have found many independent schools that embrace children with these attributes.

However, after visiting during tours and open houses I have noticed that these schools have a significantly low number of African - American children. I was searching for insight:

How do African-American children do at these schools and are they accepted within the culture of the school?
Also, has parents are you embraced and made to feel a part of the school community and culture?

I have posted this in the General Discussion also because I am in need of helpful responses

[Anonymous]

I am in the same position, but with a daughter looking for K spot next year. On one hand we want the best academic situation for our kids, but issues related to the child's sense of well being, acceptance, and self esteem also matter. In my generation, I have seen some disastrous results related to this issue. Hopefully, times have changed, although, my dd did mention some incidents that have occurred in her nursery school.

I am shying away from schools that mysteriously have no African Americans (or any other races).
Speak to other African American families at a particular school and ask them about their experiences. The names are sometimes not easy to get, but try making a call to the admissions office. If they shy away from the issue, that might be a red flag.
I could mention some schools that seem to have a decent track record: St. Alban's, Lowell, Field, Georgetown Day, Maret, British School, Fourth Presbyterian, Washington International to name a few.
I will for the sake of being pc will not write about ones that I've heard some troubling news.
Welcome to DC, and welcome to the interesting experience of educating and African American child.
GOOD LUCK!

[Anonymous]

Are the schools that you will not mention discussed on this board often?

[Anonymous]

Yes, hint ...one is Quaker, it is in DC.

[Anonymous]

OP, look at the Sheridan School, too. Wait -- where do you live in the DC area?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I will for the sake of being pc will not write about ones that I've heard some troubling news.
Welcome to DC, and welcome to the interesting experience of educating and African American child.
GOOD LUCK!

Thanks for the hint about the Friends school in DC. Please, please don't worry about being PC on this board. I'm not African American, but I want to avoid schools that have troubling records with African American students. Families like mine need to be part of the solution too.

[Anonymous]

PP, Thanks for the support. When I listed the schools above, I mentioned the Quaker school because I know people that have had to take their children out of that school for diversity issues. The other schools that have had bad records that come to mind are in suburban Maryland, Bethesda and Potomac. But I don't think that the OP was looking out there.
The issues may not be related to the staff, but rather the families, but in the end it doesn't matter what the source is. We just have to protect our kids.

[Anonymous]

It is surprising that a Quaker school would have that reputation when you consider their history. I have heard that their are a lot of other forces at that school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, Thanks for the support. When I listed the schools above, I mentioned the Quaker school because I know people that have had to take their children out of that school for diversity issues. The other schools that have had bad records that come to mind are in suburban Maryland, Bethesda and Potomac. But I don't think that the OP was looking out there.
The issues may not be related to the staff, but rather the families, but in the end it doesn't matter what the source is. We just have to protect our kids.

All true. Thanks for the information. We will be considering schools in suburban Maryland, but not in Bethesda and Potomac. We opted not to live in those areas for reasons related to diversity, both racial/ethnic and socioeconomic. I definitely appreciate the heads up on the DC school. Good luck to the OP, and to you too, PP.

[Anonymous]

It is interesting to see that Bethesda schools have these issues. A co-worker came to me really upset because her daughter that attends an all girl school in Bethesda was really upset upon her arrival to after the winter break. Also, this post has been very helpful.

[Anonymous]

I too know someone who's self esteem was crushed in one of these settings. Can't share details, but it really ruined her life. Parents need to be vigilant.

[Anonymous]

I'm African-American, and I have lots of friend who went to DC private schools and now their kids are there too (so are mine). You will find that DC has a well-established black middle and upper-middle class, so it's rare to find a DC private school that has obvious diversity issues. If they do, that's a real problem. Schools that (in my opinion) have a good track record are Lowell, Sidwell (some may disagree, but I know a lot of African American families who are very happy there), GDS (the first integrated private school in DC), Maret. NCS, Field, Sheridan, Potomac, WIS and St. Alban's are all pretty good too. I haven't heard very positive things about Landon and the other Potomac/Bethesda schools, but I'm more DC focused. The thing is, go and visit the school for yourself. Talk to parents. Talk to current students. Don't just go by hearsay. There are many wonderful schools here and I'm sure you will find one that is right for your child.

[Anonymous]

I have been here for 40 years in various schools. Sidwell issues seem to be new. All I've heard is that Sidwell has "changed". It's not the staff, but the families.
Landon, Holton, and Norwood have all had their moments. I know of at least two families in each of those schools who have had to retreat. Green Acres would seem to be OK, and I have heard nothing but good about it except that...there are few African American families there.

[Anonymous]

I am the OP and really appreciate all the responses especially the 13:13 post. Every family will have their own story; as we visit schools the most important thing that we have observed is how well the children interact with each other.

Children are color-blind until adults place their views and ideas into their little minds. With that said I am certain that our son will be fine where every he goes to school because we spend a great deal of time instilling in him the importance of good citizenship and accepting others despite their differences.

He also had an opportunity to attend camp at one of the schools mentioned a lot on this site and he was fine. This fall we attended a play at Imagination Stage and he saw a campmate and the two of them hugged like old friends!!

13:13 do you mind stating where your children attend school?

[Anonymous]

I'm white, and I went to GDS high school in the 90s. While more diverse than other DC private schools, it was certainly not a bastian of integration and racial harmony. As with any school, there are cliques, and those cliques tended to form along racial lines. It's also true that the proportion of African-American students relative to the general DC population was tiny. The school was probably about 80% white. On the other hand, the school at least made an effort towards racial & ethnic diversity. I vaguely remember a racially-sensitive incident happening between a couple of students that prompted a school assembly. Of course all of this was a long time ago & things are almost certainly different now, so I'm not sure it fits your "helpful responses" criteria!

Personally, I am not planning to send my kids to private school, partially because of the racial diversity issue, but also because of the economic diversity issues. My family was definitely scraping together what was then $7K/year tuition, and it was really strange to go to school with a bunch of really, really wealthy kids from the burbs. I feel like it gave me a really skewed sense of what the world is really like that I had to unlearn later. I imagine that is even worse now that the tuition is even higher.