my 7 yo dd has turned into a very talented liar

[Anonymous]

This is a new thing. Beyond denials of no, I didn't do it to elaborate stories trying to prove the contrary. Has been caught twice now, but never acknowledged it or apologized, rather defiant and angry. The first time she was warned of consequences if it happened again. It happened again, consequences were delivered (her play makeup was confiscated -- she was caught twice using mom's makeup, including lip stain, and ruining clothing, towels, and similar items in the process. We're lucky she didn't ruin a new chair tonight that we're returning to the store tomorrow b/c we decided it doesn't quite work).

Is this just a developmental thing or is it time to involve a professional therapist? I mean, these were pretty sophisticated lies and I'm worried about what's coming as she gets older if this continues.

[Anonymous]

It's developmental. As a mom of an 11year old and almost 7 year old, I wouldn't call a therapist any time soon. The first time she got a warning. My guess is she wanted to see what might happen. That's normal for kids. They want to test boundaries. It's our job as parents to enforce those boundaries. You did that beautifully. You were consistent, swift and logical with the consequence. I'd hold onto that play make-up until Dec 1st. (if you threw it out, that's fine too.)

[Anonymous]

On DCUM this will be called "perfectly normal,"
but in my house it's called "telling a lie," and is not acceptable. If you want your child to be labeled liar, keep on thinking this is "developmentally appropriate."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On DCUM this will be called "perfectly normal,"
but in my house it's called "telling a lie," and is not acceptable. If you want your child to be labeled liar, keep on thinking this is "developmentally appropriate."

You don't want to know what you'd be called in my house

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On DCUM this will be called "perfectly normal,"
but in my house it's called "telling a lie," and is not acceptable. If you want your child to be labeled liar, keep on thinking this is "developmentally appropriate."

Are you really this obtuse? Do you know what "developmentally appropriate" means? It means that at this age, tape behavior is typical. That doesn't mean parents don't respond to it. Lying is expected at this age AND it's socially unacceptable behavior. The OP responded appropriately with a swift and logical consequence.

[Anonymous]

No therapist. But maybe a tube of lip gloss of her very own after consequences have served their function. The child loves and admires you and wants to be like mommy. You
MUst learn to respect other people's things, but the lie was just human nature. Is there anyone who HASN'T ever lied?

[Anonymous]

PP here. IMO demonstrating your understanding of her desires means she can trust you to help her next time so she doesn't have to be sneaky. "Hey, I can see how interested you are in my make-up. You can't use it on your own, but next time just ask me and we'll do it together!" In my house we sometimes talk about how lying damages our relationship by breaking down trust.