Public or private?

[Anonymous]

We have a SN DC who is in early elementary school at a private school. We have always assumed that we would keep him in private school for the small classes, nurturing atmosphere, etc. He has a number of issues, including ADHD, some processing challenges, articulation stuff, and some social pragmatic issues - but is actually very smart and in large part high functioning. He is in a regular school, and no one has suggested that he needs a special needs school of any kind. With that being said - he definitely needs some accommodations and structure.
But...ever since he started school years ago (and he has been to three different schools), we have never found ANY of the teachers to really work with him. We have always made it clear that we will support the schools in any possible way, shared our team of expert opinions, etc. His schools have always said the right things (they want to work with him, they accept him) - but they never actually TEACH him. Instead, they call me to tell me every way in which he is falling short of their performance standards and then it is on me to "fix." I do take incredible responsibility over his education and end up teaching him most everything he knows - but paying all this money year after year and feeling like the schools can't deal with him effectively is getting very old.
So...I am wondering whether public school might be a better option. We are in MC, in a very good school district. We have always worried that public school would be too big and too difficult socially for a kid like him, but now are wondering whether the systems the schools have in place would be better for his learning. I would really appreciate any insights! Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Either this is not a very good school, or his teacher is not very good. Because whether your child is special needs or not, a teacher's role is not to tell you how your child is falling short and leave it to you to somehow magically get him up to standard. Good teachers teach to children at different levels. Not to some mythical standard which is the child's problem if the child can't meet.

If this is happening year after year, I would leave this school. It sounds terrible.

[Anonymous]

Is your son HFA and what kinds of services would you want from a school (public or private)?

[Anonymous]

It all depends. Isn't that answer always so frustrating.

I felt I had to reteach my son everything when he was in his early elementary private. We took our test scores to the public school and they told us that he did not qualify for anything - not even a 504 plan.

So we found another private that worked for him.

Each child is different. We are in MoCo and I know there are positive and negative sides to everything. As soon as somebody mentions a school somebody will jump on and say they had a great experience followed by a post saying they had a terrible experience. That is what people mean by "good fit". No school is better or worse they are just different. A principal can make a big difference.

I think that each age brings a new stage. K-3 (learning to read), 3-5 (learning how to learn/reading to learn), 6-8 (learning higher concepts and being independent), high school (preparing for college) With all the stages enforcing the love of learning not the drudgery of it all.

So the answer may be different at each stage.

Being a parent of a kid that learns differently is a unchartered territory for each and every one of us because all our kids are different.

So, I would get a full private neurophyc exam done. Get advice from the educational specialist. You will be able to get a better picture of what your child needs. Is it that he can't read to learn, he can't take notes, he can't read the board, he can't gain information from lecture.

Fight for accomodations (books on tape, note taker, study guides, extra time on exams) from your current school until you can find a better fit.

Take the results to your local public and see if you qualify for accomodations.

Visit McLean, Lab, Sienna type schools and see if that is a good fit.
See if there is a different mainstream private that deals with these issues better.

I am dyslexic so forgive the spelling errors. I am not going to spell check.

Remember that your child can succeed in school and will succeed in life. Stay strong!

[Anonymous]

I have a child with Asperger's/HFA/ASD in K at a public school, in our case a public charter school, with an IEP and it is working out very well so far. He started at this school in preK - 4 and the school suggested he be evaluated at which point we found he had AS and qualified for an IEP.

For ASD, your child will qualify for an IEP so I would get one. My child is high functioning with no academic or behavior issues but he gets Speech, OT, PT, Sp Ed and social support at school per his IEP. He is completely mainstreamed. Most importantly, he loves school. GL!