Policies toward (very mild) developmental glitches?

[Anonymous]

My DC had a developmental glitch in infancy that is mostly resolved. She continues to receive some therapy for articulation but is verbally extremely advanced; her writing skills are a bit below average but not remarkably so. She is sweet, social, and we are told that she is very clever. Will her history impact her chances of admission to the elite private schools? If so, which ones are likely to make it an issue, even an unspoken one?

[Anonymous]

I don't think this post is real. What parent says, "We are told she is clever"? What parent asks about elite private schools?

Even parents who apply to the "elite" private schools don't call them elite private schools.

[Anonymous]

OP, use your judgment, if it is obvious, you should tell, if not, keep it to yourself.

[Anonymous]

To be honest, OP, yes, it will impact admissions and not in a good way. There are some schools which have inclusive policies and welcome children with differences, but these are generally not schools with selective admissions.

[Anonymous]

PP again: I feel like my previous message was too curt. It's completely unfair, but popular private schools are looking for reasons to say no to families. They are not generally looking for children who require extra resources or require coordination with therapists or require anything outside a narrowly defined norm. When you have a child who is different, for whatever reason, or who has special needs, you realize what a godsend are the places that just take kids -- all kids -- as they come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP again: I feel like my previous message was too curt. It's completely unfair, but popular private schools are looking for reasons to say no to families. They are not generally looking for children who require extra resources or require coordination with therapists or require anything outside a narrowly defined norm. When you have a child who is different, for whatever reason, or who has special needs, you realize what a godsend are the places that just take kids -- all kids -- as they come.

Well said, I agree.

[Anonymous]

Actually, PP I disagree with you. Our children attended a selective school. In both classes there were children there with clearly apparent issues, who would not have been admitted had the school practiced the policies you describe. Often they were siblings, but not always. Two in particular were extremely bright, so there probably is some tradeoff that the school was applying.

[Anonymous]

There are so many terrific private schools in the DC area, and many that would be a great match for the child you describe. It is really, really important to fit the school to the child because you cannot fit the child to the school. I had one child at Beauvoir and saw how they really couldn't handle kids with learning differences and those kids became very unhappy. As a result, my son, who has some issues, goes to a very different school and is doing terrifically. If you try to "pull one over" on teh admissions committee and get your child in under false rpretenses, your child will suffer.

[Anonymous]

Doesn't the answer kind of depend on the difference in question? OP said her daughter had a very slight articulation issue and it sounds like she's within normal range for writing, but is not setting speed records. Is this not different than, say, dyslexia in terms of classroom management?

I wonder though.

[Anonymous]

This is a tricky one. I definitely agree with PPs that stress it is important to find a school that will be a comfortable fit for your child, yet it is also true (IMO) that broadcasting your child's issues will NOT help you get admitted!! Visit the schools you are interested when school is in session, if at all possible, so that you can really observe the pace and teaching methods used in the classroom ... does it look like the style will work well for your DC? Once your child is admitted, the school will work with you to achieve success, but if the fit is not a good one, your child may face unnecessary stress. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

OP here: Thanks for all the postings, all of which were helpful to some degree. I was just trying to honestly describe the situation. Current teachers/friends/aquaintances really do feel that DC has resolved the developmental glitches. She is already thriving in preschool and appears to be the kind of child who will continue to do so. It does not appear that she will be stressed in a highly academic school, and we can continue to private provide whatever additional services she may need for the next couple of years (e.g. the articulation work). We don't want to hide the therapy etc that has got her to this point, and would not be able to if we did as the preschool would likely discuss it. In any event, I was just trying to get a sense whether she has a shot at this point. It sounds entirely likely from the responses that her developmental struggle as an infant will likely negatively impact her chances with schools at this point. Perhaps not when she is a little older and entirely done with therapy.

[Anonymous]

I agree you shouldn't try to hide it, but you might want to avoid making it your main point of discussion in interviews. It's more like an obstacle she overcame.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't sound like it's a problem right now. While it's unlikely that this information will hurt her, it won't help her and the information seems superfluous. It's possible though that when she goes on her play visit the ADs will focus on her speech to confirm that she has no issue now. At some point you don't need to disclose every little bump your child had just as you might not want to reveal how you overcame time management during your second job or became a better writer in your current position.

Since she's over this issue, I would suggest you not say anything.

[Anonymous]

Why would you want to pay college size tuition for a school that would not accept your kid, if they knew?

Are you that short of options?

[Anonymous]

Be very careful about relying on friends and acquaintances for the idea that your child is past her developmental glitches. You really need to rely on professionals for that. I can't tell you how many friends and acquaintances -- some with education or medical backgrounds -- told me I was "over worrying" about my son's developmental issues and they were simply wrong.