Just got an Asperger's diagnosis for 3yr DS

[Anonymous]

I can't stop crying and grieving for all the things he won't be able to do. Can anyone tell me positive things about your Asperger's child and thier abilities? I know he's the same sweet little guy he always was and I'm going to do everything possible to get him whatever help he needs. I'm just feel like I've been hit by a truck right now & the thought of him not be able to make friends breaks my heart. Thnks in advance for any positives you can throw my way.

[Anonymous]

Don't set limitations on your child's abilities and don't focus on the things he won't be able to do, because you have no idea what he won't be able to do. That's something I've learned. And why do you feel he won't be able to make friends? Pish-posh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't stop crying and grieving for all the things he won't be able to do.

Cry, grieve, do what you need to do in the short-term to get through this initial period, but don't define him entirely by this diagnosis. Yes, he is still the sweet little guy he always has been. You don't yet know what he will or won't be able to do (and neither does anyone else, so while you'll obviously want a great deal of professional help for your son weigh carefully what the experts say, too).

Hang in there.

[Anonymous]

OP,

It's going to be okay. You're taking in a lot right now, but just so you know many accomplished people have Aspergers:

http://www.asperger-syndrome.me.uk/people.htm

It's a part of who he is but it doesn't define him.

[Anonymous]

OP it may help for you to find some other families with children who have Asperger's as well as some adults who have Asperger's. Many grow up make friends have have hobbies and grow up to have careers and families.

[Anonymous]

My son was DX when he was four. We suspect my husband, his father, my mother, both my brothers to have AS. While they do not have a formal DX, their symptoms are worse than DS's and AS was not recognized prior to the 90ties anyway.

I admit I was not too surprised or upset when DS got his DX. He is just like with his dad but without the anxiety and sensory issues.

Despite all the AS symptoms, all the mentioned family members graduated from an Ivy League college (except one of my brothers who skipped high school and went to Johns Hopkins at 14) all have advanced degrees and successful careers, married and have children. All have a full, happy life and I expect the same for DS.

Grieve now but it'll get easier. DS is doing fine in K and completely mainstreamed with an IEP. Has friends, loves schools and is happy. Your son will be too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son was DX when he was four. We suspect my husband, his father, my mother, both my brothers to have AS. While they do not have a formal DX, their symptoms are worse than DS's and AS was not recognized prior to the 90ties anyway.

I admit I was not too surprised or upset when DS got his DX. He is just like with his dad but without the anxiety and sensory issues.

Despite all the AS symptoms, all the mentioned family members graduated from an Ivy League college (except one of my brothers who skipped high school and went to Johns Hopkins at 14) all have advanced degrees and successful careers, married and have children. All have a full, happy life and I expect the same for DS.

Grieve now but it'll get easier. DS is doing fine in K and completely mainstreamed with an IEP. Has friends, loves schools and is happy. Your son will be too.

This is the OP. Thank you so much for this, I really needed to hear it today.

[Anonymous]

Hey OP my 3 year old also has asperer's, so what? This doesn't mean he will not have friends. Yes there re complications, but my son is so bright and sweet, he is the smartest kid among all the kids I know. And I'm sure your kid will be fine too. There are good things to it too

[Anonymous]

My four year old has an aspergers diagnosis...I grieved and still grieve at times, but mostly I forget about his diagnosis. The thing that I always hear is that there are no absolutes with autism and every child is different. Hang in there...the farther you get away from the painful experience that is diagnosis the better you will feel.

Feel free to write, [e-mail]

Hang in there!

Adrienne

[Anonymous]

My son was diagnosed ASD-high functioning at 6. I cried at first but then I found a way to channel my energies into putting together a support plan. He's mainstreamed in 2nd grade, is happy and doing well. He has friends and I am in awe at him nearly every day. Don't let this get you down. There are so many good books to read. Just keep up with things so you can be the best advocate you can for your child. And get his support lined up, it takes time to find the right mix for your childs needs. Hugs it will be fine!

[Anonymous]

OP- I wanted to add...The very best thing that happened for us was getting our little guy into special needs preschool. It is free and going there every day and being surrounded by parents who are dealing with similar issues is SOOOO therapeutic!

Speech and OT was also helpful, but mainly because it was a break for me and a chance to turn his learning over to a specialist who could give one on one attention. We found an OT and a Speech Therapist who accepted out insurance and I am beyond grateful to these businesses, Good Beginnings and Flemming.

Reading Temple Grandin was also helpful. She is very positive!

[Anonymous]

First off, you just need time to grieve over the diagnosis, but it doesn’t change who your son is.

Secondly he is young and so it’s a great time to start with therapies.

Finally, it is not a recipe for disaster. My brother was not diagnosed with Aspergers until he was an adult, although he was always “odd.” Let’s see, yes he is socially awkward, clumsy, and gets anxious in large groups and has struggled with anxiety and depression. He never had a large circle of friends, though does and always has had some friends. He will never be the life of the party, and he finds it hard to express emotions and gets overwhelmed easily by intense emotional situations and tends to retreat to process things. He doesn't always have the emotional language to express his needs, but he has matured an incredible amount. He likes routine, but he also enjoys travel, exploration and learning.

He is incredibly smart, very witty in a deadpan way, extremely generous of spirit and loving. He also an ivy grad, phd scientist with a home, great job, and he is married (no kids) and is an amazing uncle.

while you never know what the future holds, please don't despair. and know you've got a good community of people here who empathize.

[Anonymous]

My dd also has aspergers. She does struggle with making and playing with friends, but she's coming far with the help of her awesome school. She also has many strengths that will serve her well in the future, and that I believe are part of her aspergers: the ability to focus on simething intensely, intuitive math sense, an amazing memory, and a big sense of fairness.

For us, I was relieved when we got the diagnosis. I had been noticing that something was "off" and getting a diagnosis confirmed that it wasnt all in my head and helped us get into her awesome school where she is thriving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dd also has aspergers. She does struggle with making and playing with friends, but she's coming far with the help of her awesome school. She also has many strengths that will serve her well in the future, and that I believe are part of her aspergers: the ability to focus on simething intensely, intuitive math sense, an amazing memory, and a big sense of fairness.

For us, I was relieved when we got the diagnosis. I had been noticing that something was "off" and getting a diagnosis confirmed that it wasnt all in my head and helped us get into her awesome school where she is thriving.

do you mind sharing where she is going to school?

[Anonymous]

http://www.specialeducationadvisor.com/floor-time-a-developmental-approach-to-play-therapy-for-children-impacted-by-autism/

http://www.thefloortimecenter.com/research.html

DS went to The Floortime Center for years. We saw a profound difference.

For all you know he may not be Aspergers but have other issues. At the age of three, the brain is totally malleable and you can be the person to make significant changes in your child. Assume there is room for great growth and change and charge full speed ahead with as much floor time as possible.