MIL and birthday gifts

[Anonymous]

Every year, my SIL lets us know what MIL wants/needs for her birthday. This year, it is gift cards to a certain store so she can buy something specific for herself. One year, we all chipped in $ for a certain kitchen appliance. MIL does send us cards for our birthday and sometimes gifts.

Every year, this gift thing rubs me the wrong way. I am all for acknowledging family members' birthdays but I dislike the yearly gift hint. My own mom usually tells me not to get her anything. Thoughts on how to handle this?

[Anonymous]

This is your husband's call, not yours. It is his mother.

[Anonymous]

No advice OP. I grew up with parents who didn't want us buying them gifts (parents give to children not vice versa). We send cards and take my mom out for a nice meal usually. MIL tells us what she wants each yr. really rubs me the wrong way. I say absolutely nothing though.

[Anonymous]

This makes me laugh. My parents are like your parents, and my MIL and SIL are like yours. They have very specific gift requirements.

Honestly, I don't care. It makes them happy.

[Anonymous]

Agree on an amount to spend on these types of things. Then let DH handle it. Direct the SIL's communications to DH. The end!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is your husband's call, not yours. It is his mother.

Ditto. Unclench, OP.

[Anonymous]

Remove yourself from this. This is something MIL's son should take care of (or not if he chooses).

And if you decide to continue to be the one to handle this, then you forfeit your right to complain.

[Anonymous]

let it go OP If this is your biggest peeve about your MIL consider yourself lucky. Even if Miss Manners says people shouldn't hint at what gift they want, etc.

(Why would your mom say not to get your MIL anything?)
C'mon, yeah, unclench, and let your DH handle it.

[Anonymous]

Lots of people use gift registries...your MIL is just doing the same on a small scale.

[Anonymous]

Really, this is a complaint?

[Anonymous]

I prefer it when people explicitly tell me what they want. Then I don't have to think.

[Anonymous]

I think it's horribly tacky, immature, and goes against the nature and spirit of gift giving. It would rub me the wrong way too. However, I would not give it any more thought than an internal eye roll. As long as the amount is something you and DH are comfortable with and it's been consistent for all these years, go along to get along and cringe to yourself and bitch to some girlfriends. That's it.

[Anonymous]

Op here, yeah its not the biggest deal in the world but thanks for the responses. I guess I just thought people stopped expecting and requesting bday gifts at a certain age/stage in life. I'm realizing now that it is really a personality thing.
Funny though, because I asked DH today if he wanted to get her requested gift card this year. He said "no".

[Anonymous]

I really like it when hard-to-please people make it so I don't have to shop.

Hand this one off to DH.

D