middle school that doesn't tolerate bullying, supportive of adhd kids

[Anonymous]

Does anyone with and adhd child like their middle school, and feel like they do a good job supporting your adhd child. we will move to Fairfax county soon, and while I am excited that any school I put him in should be academically adequate, I am not as sure about each school's ability to meet his needs. He will go to sixth grade next year...hopefully we can live not too far from Laurel Ridge or Ravensworth as I hope to send my younger son to immersion. I would like to make the older childs placement a priority. he had some issues where he was getting punched/ told he couldnt play on a certain playground a couple of years ago, and nobody really did anything about it. i would like him to have a positive learning environment this time around. We are military and have moved a lot, and He has enoughh issues to worry about aside from bullying. I am fully aware that all schools will have bullying (from the examples on this forum there will be lots of it!) but I am looking for suggestions on schools that will not tolerate it and will not expect my son to simply endure it as some sort of admission rite to middle school.

[Anonymous]

McLean in POtomac.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:McLean in POtomac.

That's a private school. Sounds like the Op wants public.

[Anonymous]

I would consider the Auburn School in Herdon:
http://www.theauburnschool.org/Herndon.cfm?master=1089275&cfm=end

I've heard good things about their scholarship opportunities.

Good luck, OP (don't let the bastards get you down)

[Anonymous]

I was going to recommend McLean in Potomac too but someone beat me too it. Also, poster said they were military. McLean is very expensive. But we had an xlnt middle school experience there. If affordable, McLean does offer bus service from VA.

If in Fairfax County Schools, I would fight for an IEP if you can get it. Then you might get some proactive help on the bullying. The 504s just don't cut it - teachers have too much else to worry about.

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone. OP here, about to write a novel: Yes, unfortunately, the private schools are most likely out of our range. I can't remember the price of the McLean school but I've looked at some private schools in the area and they are around 20 to 30 thousand dollars. Although my husband has a decent rank/pay rate, unfortunately that is still ridiculously out of our price range. We have another child, college savings etc. If my husband were working in the private sector and making 3 times what he makes. Maybe A school 10,000 or less we would consider, but do many of those exist? I started the process of looking into an IEP when we found out we would move with just over a month's notice. As you can imagine, I did not get farther than an SST meeting before we moved. I got a little scared when I saw another post here that says they don't want to give you an IEP for ADHD if the overall test scores are still fairly high. This is what bothers me about my son's situation. He tests very well in certain areas and quite low in others. There is a huge disconnect there. I don't want to wait until he is grade levels behind to get him help. His handwriting and spelling are horrendous, and thankfully this year and part of last we have been working on them at home (long story, but we ended up homeschooling while we are at our current station, but I really do want him in public or private when we move to VA. ) I am considering having him tested for auditory processing disorder. He can't seem to hear certain phonemes in words and I think this is what is making his spelling so atrocious. It is slowly improving with some very rigorous phonics based remediation, but he still just can't seem to hear the phonemes no matter how slowly I break down the word into parts! His ADHD is mostly innattentive, other than not keeping his hands to himself and at some times becoming a little bit defiant when asked to move to another activity he does not have severe behavioral problems, but he did get in trouble every so often for the above mentioned reasons. I think some of the other students may have found his behavior annoying so it was hard for him to make friends. He doesn't quite get the personal space thing.... I feel like his issues are not big enough for the public schools to take note of, but they are certainly big enough to make our lives a living hell at home. When we weren't homeschooling he would spend a lot of time arguing about doing the writing assignments for his homework. Now that it is spread out more through the day, we have been able to make progress on this, and he doesn't freak out as much about writing, even though it is so hard for him. Now, it's division. Despite being quite smart, and memorizing just about anything else, he has a lot of trouble with his times tables, which makes it very slow going with long division. Also, he is doing some vision therapy exercises, because he has tracking issues and I think his vision being off alignment makes it really hard for him to line up the numbers properly. Ack! I'm a bit nervous about squeezing in hours of homework in the evening hours amongst scouts, and sports etc. I would love for him to attend a school that doesn't send home hours of busywork on things he already knows but assigns him thoughtful assignments that help him learn how to think, and also practice and drill some of the things he is already learning. Yes, I know I'm in fantasy land right now, and I would appreciate any thoughtful and non mean comments bringing me back to reality about my expectations. If I am able to find a job, perhaps I can send him to a private school. However, the job market is not great now as it is, especially for a mom who has been at home for the last ten years and has very little experience before that other than nannying, substitute teaching, and teaching English to foreign students.

[Anonymous]

OP, the best resources, I find, are the local listservs where you can get really detailed feedback about the climate of a particular local school and the attitude of the administration and how they will work with an SN child and family. I would go there and ask about a particular public school or two.

[Anonymous]

And don't count on FFX county to give you good neuropsych testing. This is something you may want to spring for fairly soon to get a handle on his needs. Some local testers will also serve as advocates in the PS system.

[Anonymous]

Thanks! I really appreciate your help

[Anonymous]

It would be a haul, but look at Friends Community School in College Park. A lovely school, very welcoming, and not expensive for public school. Also, I would think that after years of being at home and homeschooling, you could offer yourself out as a homeschool assistant or something. Wouldn't be a bundle of money, but as a person who is considering homeschooling for middle school, I could see hiring someone to work with my (special needs) child on some subjects. Even just to give me a break from his obstinate attitude! Or do something like put together small groups of homeschoolers for activities that you organize. Anyway, not sure if you would be interested, but I would love to find something like that if I decide to homeschool.

[Anonymous]

I am pretty sure that we will settle on the other side of DC, but I will look into the Friends school, as I'm certainly open to exploring all options.
In the ideal world, there would be a homeschool hybrid charter, where the kids go to school three days a week and are homeschooled the other two days. There is a school like that in my hometown, and it seems like the best of both worlds. I do want him to have band/sports teams etc . The area I live in now doesn't have as many offerings for homeschooling as I would have hoped for. I did find a coop that is very well planned, which meets once a week, but I would prefer a more frequent coop. I have not completely abandoned the idea of continuing to homeschool him if the need arises, but I think I would prefer a bit of a break from some aspects of it. I have thought about perhaps tutoring some of the subject areas as a part time job, as it would be nice to put these skills to use, and I actually do have a teaching background, just not one that I have ever used outside the world of homeschooling. It's interesting that it's always easier to tolerate another child's obstinate attitude, rather than one's own flesh and blood. I think it is just that it feels SO personal, when our children decide to be that way with us.

Anonymous wrote:It would be a haul, but look at Friends Community School in College Park. A lovely school, very welcoming, and not expensive for public school. Also, I would think that after years of being at home and homeschooling, you could offer yourself out as a homeschool assistant or something. Wouldn't be a bundle of money, but as a person who is considering homeschooling for middle school, I could see hiring someone to work with my (special needs) child on some subjects. Even just to give me a break from his obstinate attitude! Or do something like put together small groups of homeschoolers for activities that you organize. Anyway, not sure if you would be interested, but I would love to find something like that if I decide to homeschool.

[Anonymous]

The Mcneeds listserv (a yahoo group) serves Montgomery County (although it sounds like you are focusing on VA). To forewarn you, there is a lot of negativity on Mcneeds and people don't always post their positive experiences. But you can ask for people to respond to you directly (rather than the whole group) and you may get better information that way. I'm not sure if Fairfax has a listserv. I recently noticed that Arlington County has a special needs PTA. Perhaps you can contact someone there who can direct you to good schools in VA.

[Anonymous]

I would absolutely cross FCS off your list pretty quickly. First, it is private and runs around $20,000 yr. Second, it does not have the kind of supports your son would need. They are a lovely school that focuses on kids getting along, Quaker values, etc, but it is in no way an environment for a child with special needs. The school is just not set up for it, there are not those supports in place nor the resources to get them.

I say this as a parent of kids at FCS, and over the years have seen many kids thrive, and a number with the kinds of issues your son has absolutely not do well and end up leaving.