Almost 3 week old infant will only sleep with me - help!

[Anonymous]

This is my third child. My first two never had any issues sleeping in the crib from day one. They would wake every 2-4 hours to eat at night and then go right back down after eating (sometimes the nursing experience would be 40 minutes or so).

Now, our latest cutey -- won't sleep unless in my arms or next to me in bed. I seem to doze in this fashion and am terrified I will kill her. We started with a snuggle nest - no dice. We have this pack and play removal rocker that I can occasionally get her to sleep in at night (it is sort of hammocky) and I was able for two nights to get her to sleep in a cosleeper all swaddled. But she tends to figure it out and fight it. We are literally up all night. Being outwitted by a newborn at every turn.

She is not colicky or experiencing reflux. she does not mind being flat if she is next to me. I just need advice or products of ways I can get this little one to sleep. Besides this cuddle connection she is very easy.

[Anonymous]

Fisher Price Rock n Play worked for me.

[Anonymous]

I never figured it out. Gave up about 4-5 weeks in, and just wore the baby in a carrier all day and co-slept all night from then on. Much happier all around.

My kid is 5 now. I think she would STILL like to be worn in a carrier. She's always on my lap, holding my hand, creeping into my bed. Some kids are just plain snuggly. I was the same, according to my parents, who were surprised like you, because my older siblings were much less so.

[Anonymous]

For the co-sleeping - did you ever worry about suffocating your baby???

I literally wake up throughout thinking I have killed her.

[Anonymous]

My first was like this. We co-slept when I had to go back to work around 12 weeks and realized that no sleep was not going to work for me. I took all the precautions -- no comforter, one pillow only, etc etc. I was aware of the baby, thus, baby was always on my side (not DH's -- he sleeps too deeply for me to feel ok with it). The downside is that I never slept so well, but that was better than not sleeping at all.

With #2, we are doing the Rock N Play, which he seems to like and sleep well in during the night. He goes back to sleep right away, though I nurse him side-lying when he starts to wake up and then move him back when he's finished eating (he's already back to sleep). However, naps are pretty much only on me or in the Ergo (although if I was willing to sit home through his naps he'd probably go down in the Rock N Play -- he did as a newborn while I was recovering from L&D).

[Anonymous]

DD was like this (according to MIL, so was DH). First three weeks I held her while sleeping, in a recliner. Then slowly weaned her to sleeping in a crib. She still slept best while being held and we couldn't get her to nap un-held til she was 8 mos or so. Aside from the napping, none of it was a problem. And second go-round we would nip that nap thing in the bud (wouldn't work with a toddler at home anyway).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the co-sleeping - did you ever worry about suffocating your baby???

I literally wake up throughout thinking I have killed her.

No, I never did worry about that. I thought about it, intellectually, but it was never a gut fear. So I decided to follow my sleep-deprived instincts. Perhaps a selfish decision at the time.

[Anonymous]

Time is what you need. Baby will grow out of it.

[Anonymous]

Smart baby.

Follow the safety rules and ignore news stories about drunk-ass mothers rolling over on their babies because presumably, you are not drunk. Remember that SIDS was once called "crib death." Relax.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the co-sleeping - did you ever worry about suffocating your baby???

I literally wake up throughout thinking I have killed her.

If you breastfeed, are not drugged, and don't let pillows or fluffy blankets get over her head, you will almost assuredly be fine. Many many babies around the world share sleep with their mothers, and this is the biological norm.

[Anonymous]

We had this exact same problem and were at our wits' end when our pediatrician suggested the following:

(1) TIGHT swaddle (we used and LOVED the Miracle Swaddle Blankets that you can buy on Amazon); AND

(2) Fairly loud white noise (we started with a Sleep Sheep and then just switched to a white noise app on an iPod.

We SERIOUSLY, SERIOUSLY doubted this combination would work because we had been trying everything for 2 weeks (including just a tight swaddle) and nothing was working, but this combination worked like a charm. Pretty much immediately, too. Our DD fussed for 1 or 2 minutes and then fell asleep. We never had a problem after that as long as we were using this combination.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Same happened to me. We co-slept and felt very safe. As one pp said if you're not totally drunk nothing is gone happen, in fact you will be much more able to feel your baby breathing and movement.

[Anonymous]

Agree with the PPs who said just give in. You'll both be happier and better rested. If you need extra reassurance about safety and want to be sure you're not creating a hazardous sleep space, read Dr. James McKenna's book. He's got some great groundrules you can follow. It's less than $10 on Amazon.

[vmarechal60]

My baby would only sleep with me until he was 2.5 months - you couldn't even put him down he would scream murder, let alone sleep alone. He slept in the bed with me on my doctor's orders! The whole world sleeps with their babies, only here we are terrified of doing it. As long as your bed is big enough and you don't drink etc etc it is fine. I would only say that it isn't that great for the parents as you are on super high alert and I never felt rested...eventually we started putting him in the swing to sleep, then in his crib and he just grew out of it. What really helped him though was to change the way he was swaddled. A friend of mine from Morocco showed me how to swaddle him with his arms crossed in front of him rather than on his side and then to place him on his side between two wedges ( he hated sleeping on his back and I realized this was making him cry.) It totally worked and he started sleeping 3 hours in a row!!!! Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the co-sleeping - did you ever worry about suffocating your baby???

I literally wake up throughout thinking I have killed her.

I thought the same thing initially, but you won't. You never do. In fact, sleeping next to our LO seemed almost natural. We let her sleep that way until we could sleep train her.