LD kid and grades

[Anonymous]

My DS just started 6th grade. I now see that we have been completely shielded by the faux "grades" for years. He is now receiving real grades and I am worried. He has an IEP and receives a lot of services at school, but I can't see anything reflected in his grades. He was getting a few Fs and post complete freak out by me he has gotten some up to C-. My biggest concern is that quizzes and tests count for most of his grades -- and he does poorly on those regardless of accommodations.

So my question is, do I just accept that he is a "C student?" I have told him that we expect him to get As and Bs -- but is that fair to him? He does tutoring, both at school and after school. He does his homework diligently (if not well) and actually really tries. I just find it a bit depressing that his grades reflect mostly his poor testing rather than the hard work he puts into completing assignments, studying, etc.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, its a big shock to hit MS when it comes to grades. It's hard, but at some point you do have to just accept where your childreally is functioning. And, it gets harder when you get to the point of thinking about whether he is college material. I am at the point where I have accepted that trade school is going to be our best option.

[Anonymous]

Is he receiving appropriate services? Are his IEP goals designed to remediate or is he only getting accommodations? I think you should meet with the school and talk about whether he needs some different kinds of support. The biggest question is WHY does he do so poorly on tests and is there anything that can be done about it? (tests read out loud to him, use of a scribe, extra time). Is the tutoring he is getting designed to remediate or is it working on study skills? How much time per week?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS just started 6th grade. I now see that we have been completely shielded by the faux "grades" for years. He is now receiving real grades and I am worried. He has an IEP and receives a lot of services at school, but I can't see anything reflected in his grades. He was getting a few Fs and post complete freak out by me he has gotten some up to C-. My biggest concern is that quizzes and tests count for most of his grades -- and he does poorly on those regardless of accommodations.

So my question is, do I just accept that he is a "C student?" I have told him that we expect him to get As and Bs -- but is that fair to him? He does tutoring, both at school and after school. He does his homework diligently (if not well) and actually really tries. I just find it a bit depressing that his grades reflect mostly his poor testing rather than the hard work he puts into completing assignments, studying, etc.

As a middle school teacher who teaches SPED kids, this bolded part sticks out to me. Unfortunately, it is pretty hard to have quizzes and tests count for less than the majority of grades (and in my school, HW is not allowed to be counted for any grade at all, so that drives up the percentage of quiz/test scoring). This really messes with the SPED kids who test poorly. Every year there are probably 10 kids I teach who just can't seem to pass quizzes or tests, even with all accommodations being met, retakes, studying with me after school, etc. So...I go the extra mile to help them. If the kid can show me she/he has mastery of the material, I will count that in lieu of their test grade. Most of the time that means alternate assessments that are not "tests", or allowing them to answer verbally in a non-stress environment. Those kids do not get A's, but neither do they keep the F's that they get, regardless of how well they seem to know the material prior to the test.

Not every teacher is willing to do this, and some outright object, saying that they need to learn to do well on tests if they are going to succeed w/o grade inflation. I would reach out to the teacher and see what their view is. Perhaps a meeting with the teacher, you, AND YOUR CHILD (it is crucial that kids at this age are involved in processes like these and start taking responsibility for their own grades) where you come up with some kind of alternative solution for demonstrating mastery, if the teacher is open to that (and I would say your son should still continue to take the tests too, prepare for them, know the material, etc...there is just another way if he can't seem to pass them).

Lastly, I will say that there are some SPED kids, regardless of how hard they work, that are never going to be rockstars in the class. It is heartbreaking for them to realize it, and so hard for them to accept it. I remember a few years ago I had a kid who was athletic, cute, outgoing, mature...a great kid. But he just couldn't do much in the classroom, no matter how many times we went over concepts. It was so difficult for him to accept that he wouldn't shine here as he did in other areas of his life...and his father, unfortunately, contributed to this problem by insisting that he get A's. This just wasn't going to happen, and this kid literally would be in tears when he got back yet another assignment that he failed. He ended up, by working endless hours with me, getting a C- for the year. I am certainly not saying your son will be like this, but I think it is good that you realize that it might not be fair to him to tell him he needs to get As/Bs...especially if his teachers are not super-accomodating.

Good luck with all of this-I hope you can work out something that suits you all. My heart goes out to you both; middle school is hard enough without having to deal with this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is he receiving appropriate services? Are his IEP goals designed to remediate or is he only getting accommodations? I think you should meet with the school and talk about whether he needs some different kinds of support. The biggest question is WHY does he do so poorly on tests and is there anything that can be done about it? (tests read out loud to him, use of a scribe, extra time). Is the tutoring he is getting designed to remediate or is it working on study skills? How much time per week?

IEP is both remediation and accommodations. He gets all the accommodations he needs -- tests read out loud, extra time, scribe if needed, etc. But at the end of the day he just has trouble, especially in math remembering what to do. I think part of it is testing anxiety but the other part is his executive functioning issues where he can't get his head together to think straight. He gets support in math and reading each day then his special ed teacher has up to 1 hr additional each day to either work with him in another class, tutor him at recess or review work with him. So really he gets 3 hours a day of special ed. Then I have a tutor who works with him in math twice a week for 1 hour each time. He also goes to school early one day a week for tutoring with his math teacher. We also have him on ADHD meds which have worked really well for him just on his ability to concentrate.

I really try not to stress him out too much. He willingly gets up to go to tutoring and never fights me on actually doing the work. He says his brain just gets scrambled and he can't think straight especially when testing. I am hoping that as he feels more confident with his ability that may not happen? I think my biggest problem is that school was easy for me so I am not sure what I should do to support him. I was expected to get As, so I got As. But maybe that expectation is too much for him? Perhaps he is just a C student which is completely fine with me, I just don't know how much I should push him. I want him to feel like he is succeeding even if he is only getting a C.

Yes, the thought that we are still dealing with this in 6th grade makes me sad. He is beautiful and engaging and kind and just a really sweet kid to be around. You just can't see that reflected in his work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS just started 6th grade. I now see that we have been completely shielded by the faux "grades" for years. He is now receiving real grades and I am worried. He has an IEP and receives a lot of services at school, but I can't see anything reflected in his grades. He was getting a few Fs and post complete freak out by me he has gotten some up to C-. My biggest concern is that quizzes and tests count for most of his grades -- and he does poorly on those regardless of accommodations.

So my question is, do I just accept that he is a "C student?" I have told him that we expect him to get As and Bs -- but is that fair to him? He does tutoring, both at school and after school. He does his homework diligently (if not well) and actually really tries. I just find it a bit depressing that his grades reflect mostly his poor testing rather than the hard work he puts into completing assignments, studying, etc.

As a middle school teacher who teaches SPED kids, this bolded part sticks out to me. Unfortunately, it is pretty hard to have quizzes and tests count for less than the majority of grades (and in my school, HW is not allowed to be counted for any grade at all, so that drives up the percentage of quiz/test scoring). This really messes with the SPED kids who test poorly. Every year there are probably 10 kids I teach who just can't seem to pass quizzes or tests, even with all accommodations being met, retakes, studying with me after school, etc. So...I go the extra mile to help them. If the kid can show me she/he has mastery of the material, I will count that in lieu of their test grade. Most of the time that means alternate assessments that are not "tests", or allowing them to answer verbally in a non-stress environment. Those kids do not get A's, but neither do they keep the F's that they get, regardless of how well they seem to know the material prior to the test.

Not every teacher is willing to do this, and some outright object, saying that they need to learn to do well on tests if they are going to succeed w/o grade inflation. I would reach out to the teacher and see what their view is. Perhaps a meeting with the teacher, you, AND YOUR CHILD (it is crucial that kids at this age are involved in processes like these and start taking responsibility for their own grades) where you come up with some kind of alternative solution for demonstrating mastery, if the teacher is open to that (and I would say your son should still continue to take the tests too, prepare for them, know the material, etc...there is just another way if he can't seem to pass them).

Lastly, I will say that there are some SPED kids, regardless of how hard they work, that are never going to be rockstars in the class. It is heartbreaking for them to realize it, and so hard for them to accept it. I remember a few years ago I had a kid who was athletic, cute, outgoing, mature...a great kid. But he just couldn't do much in the classroom, no matter how many times we went over concepts. It was so difficult for him to accept that he wouldn't shine here as he did in other areas of his life...and his father, unfortunately, contributed to this problem by insisting that he get A's. This just wasn't going to happen, and this kid literally would be in tears when he got back yet another assignment that he failed. He ended up, by working endless hours with me, getting a C- for the year. I am certainly not saying your son will be like this, but I think it is good that you realize that it might not be fair to him to tell him he needs to get As/Bs...especially if his teachers are not super-accomodating.

Good luck with all of this-I hope you can work out something that suits you all. My heart goes out to you both; middle school is hard enough without having to deal with this!

Thank you for this. I really should meet with his teacher. I speak with his special ed teacher all the time and have spoken with the Math teacher but now that we are a few months in I really need to sit down with her and see what her game plan is for him. I feel like I may need to hide his report card from him. I don't want him to give up. I worry that may be a bigger challenge then any we have faced if we get to that point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is he receiving appropriate services? Are his IEP goals designed to remediate or is he only getting accommodations? I think you should meet with the school and talk about whether he needs some different kinds of support. The biggest question is WHY does he do so poorly on tests and is there anything that can be done about it? (tests read out loud to him, use of a scribe, extra time). Is the tutoring he is getting designed to remediate or is it working on study skills? How much time per week?

I would send a letter to the school asking for a periodic review IEP meeting to address these concerns. Print out his grades in each class (on Edline if in Montgomery County) and take them as data to the meeting to show the fluctuations in grades. Will your tutor attend the meeting with you so he/she can provide their expertise and input to the discussion?

Your child may need new goals to address the new pressures of middle school. My daughter had organizational goals and task completion goals added in 6th grade. Sometimes the school push advocacy and they are relying on the child asking for accommodations instead of just providing them. My daughter happened to have her re-evaluation IEP meeting (the one that you have every 3 years) and the school psychologist told the staff she didn't think their expectations for advocacy were realistic and age appropriate. Talk to your child. Does your child receive the accommodations he needs and what does he have to do to get them. (ex. Does he have to verbally remind the teacher in front of his peers what his accommodations are?)

The testing data (educational testing and cognitive testing) should have revealed what your child's potential is and his strengths and weaknesses. If your child is doing his homework, working with a tutor, and putting forth his best efforts but his class grades do not reflect what prior testing indicates to be his potential, then there is still an educational impact of his disability that has not been addressed. The middle school environment is much different than elementary school and he may just need additional supports than he has right now to be successful. Example - does he receive class notes, is there a resource class that teaches organizational skills, has someone explained where he is to go for extra time? I would be careful stressing your child out about grades if he is putting in the effort. You could end up seriously damaging his self esteem.

This is middle school, not high school. Grades will not be on a transcript. This is the time though to sort these types of problems out. My own daughter struggled greatly in 6th grade and we honestly had 4 IEP revisions that year. 7th grade was better and she was doing great in 8th grade. High school is challenging in 9th grade but currently she is a straight A student with a load of honors classes. Some issues got better with her maturity, such as being willing to stand up for herself and tell the teachers what she needed even if that identified herself as a special education student. She just got to the point so many teachers did not keep her IEP confidential that everyone knew anyway and she was ok with it. Her peers never teased her and even thought she was lucky to get some of the accommodations she gets. Other friends also confided in my daughter that they had IEP's and they began working together to resolve similar issues when they had classes with the same teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS just started 6th grade. I now see that we have been completely shielded by the faux "grades" for years. He is now receiving real grades and I am worried. He has an IEP and receives a lot of services at school, but I can't see anything reflected in his grades. He was getting a few Fs and post complete freak out by me he has gotten some up to C-. My biggest concern is that quizzes and tests count for most of his grades -- and he does poorly on those regardless of accommodations.

So my question is, do I just accept that he is a "C student?" I have told him that we expect him to get As and Bs -- but is that fair to him? He does tutoring, both at school and after school. He does his homework diligently (if not well) and actually really tries. I just find it a bit depressing that his grades reflect mostly his poor testing rather than the hard work he puts into completing assignments, studying, etc.

As a middle school teacher who teaches SPED kids, this bolded part sticks out to me. Unfortunately, it is pretty hard to have quizzes and tests count for less than the majority of grades (and in my school, HW is not allowed to be counted for any grade at all, so that drives up the percentage of quiz/test scoring). This really messes with the SPED kids who test poorly. Every year there are probably 10 kids I teach who just can't seem to pass quizzes or tests, even with all accommodations being met, retakes, studying with me after school, etc. So...I go the extra mile to help them. If the kid can show me she/he has mastery of the material, I will count that in lieu of their test grade. Most of the time that means alternate assessments that are not "tests", or allowing them to answer verbally in a non-stress environment. Those kids do not get A's, but neither do they keep the F's that they get, regardless of how well they seem to know the material prior to the test.

Not every teacher is willing to do this, and some outright object, saying that they need to learn to do well on tests if they are going to succeed w/o grade inflation. I would reach out to the teacher and see what their view is. Perhaps a meeting with the teacher, you, AND YOUR CHILD (it is crucial that kids at this age are involved in processes like these and start taking responsibility for their own grades) where you come up with some kind of alternative solution for demonstrating mastery, if the teacher is open to that (and I would say your son should still continue to take the tests too, prepare for them, know the material, etc...there is just another way if he can't seem to pass them).

Lastly, I will say that there are some SPED kids, regardless of how hard they work, that are never going to be rockstars in the class. It is heartbreaking for them to realize it, and so hard for them to accept it. I remember a few years ago I had a kid who was athletic, cute, outgoing, mature...a great kid. But he just couldn't do much in the classroom, no matter how many times we went over concepts. It was so difficult for him to accept that he wouldn't shine here as he did in other areas of his life...and his father, unfortunately, contributed to this problem by insisting that he get A's. This just wasn't going to happen, and this kid literally would be in tears when he got back yet another assignment that he failed. He ended up, by working endless hours with me, getting a C- for the year. I am certainly not saying your son will be like this, but I think it is good that you realize that it might not be fair to him to tell him he needs to get As/Bs...especially if his teachers are not super-accomodating.

Good luck with all of this-I hope you can work out something that suits you all. My heart goes out to you both; middle school is hard enough without having to deal with this!

Thank you for this. I really should meet with his teacher. I speak with his special ed teacher all the time and have spoken with the Math teacher but now that we are a few months in I really need to sit down with her and see what her game plan is for him. I feel like I may need to hide his report card from him. I don't want him to give up. I worry that may be a bigger challenge then any we have faced if we get to that point.

MS teacher again. Yes, absolutely. I wouldn't hide the report card...you don't want to make him think it's shameful, or you're disappointed. But he does need to get the message that these grades ARE NOT tied to his self-worth. He is more than this. If he has all those accommodations you listed above, it doesn't sound like there are a ton more he can legally get on his IEP. That is why approaching the teacher is very important. And let's not forget...C means "average". I know that no parent (myself included) wants to really think of their child as average and not exceptional (and I"m sure he is...just maybe not in academics), but I have always told kids and parents that there is nothing wrong with a C, especially if that C is hard-won. The important thing is that he keeps his self-confidence. And remember, it's not high school yet! I do think it will get better as he matures...many kids who struggle so much in middle school really blossom and do much better in HS. However, if he gets down on himself and starts to be hopeless/not doing his best and giving up, that is much much harder to overcome, in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

Thank you to BOTH PPs.

I am going to speak with the teacher. 21:25 you really gave me some good ideas about what to look into for him. We have done tons of testing but I would have to dig through his file to see what the specifics tests showed (I know, I banish those IEP meetings to the recesses of my brain since I usually cry through them).

Ok, I am going to focus on C being average and that is good for him! I think he will get a B in art.

[Anonymous]

Parent of elementary school child (4th grade) with an IEP. I'm beginning to be at peace with the fact that DS likely will be a C student in school. We're in Arlington and they get grades starting in 3rd grade. He simply doesn't test well - it likely is anxiety (which he has), along with executive function issues. Interestingly, this year (unlike years past), he's shown at home that he has a good handle on the material in many subjects but when he's at school and gets tests on the material, he just doesn't do well.

For us, the other interesting thing is he's demonstrating a high level of effort at school this year. It is of course still early in the year -- indeed, in his school career -- but I do sense he is always going to struggle in academics.

Thankfully (for his own self-esteem), he has some very clear talents/abilities.

[Anonymous]

21:17, I appreciate your perspective but I haven't run in to any teachers who use your approach. In MoCo, my experience is that it's very rigid in terms of how grades are issued.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, its a big shock to hit MS when it comes to grades. It's hard, but at some point you do have to just accept where your childreally is functioning. And, it gets harder when you get to the point of thinking about whether he is college material. I am at the point where I have accepted that trade school is going to be our best option.

PP - trade school is not your child's future unless you/he chooses it to be. You must must must find what his passion is, and go with that passion. Foster it. There are colleges out there for every kind of student. Read the success stories post and you'll see what I mean. Dont give up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:21:17, I appreciate your perspective but I haven't run in to any teachers who use your approach. In MoCo, my experience is that it's very rigid in terms of how grades are issued.

Not the case at my DD's MoCo MS. Their grades are based only 40% on tests. The rest is homework and in-class work/projects. On top of that, she can re-take tests. wish I had it so easy in my day!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, its a big shock to hit MS when it comes to grades. It's hard, but at some point you do have to just accept where your childreally is functioning. And, it gets harder when you get to the point of thinking about whether he is college material. I am at the point where I have accepted that trade school is going to be our best option.

PP - trade school is not your child's future unless you/he chooses it to be. You must must must find what his passion is, and go with that passion. Foster it. There are colleges out there for every kind of student. Read the success stories post and you'll see what I mean. Dont give up!

PS- wanted to add that I was a horrible student until college where I finally blossomed. I went on to a successful career, at my peak (pre-kids) I was making $90K and that was in the early 2000s so adjust for infation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:21:17, I appreciate your perspective but I haven't run in to any teachers who use your approach. In MoCo, my experience is that it's very rigid in terms of how grades are issued.

Not the case at my DD's MoCo MS. Their grades are based only 40% on tests. The rest is homework and in-class work/projects. On top of that, she can re-take tests. wish I had it so easy in my day!

I'd be surprised if she can retake all tests. Summatives normally can't be retaken, only formatives. Summatives make up 40% of the grades, which if you don't perform well, can really bring the grade down. Anyway, what I meant was that PP 21:17 says she considered things other than the actual grades on summatives, formatives and homework, which has not been my experience in MoCo.