S/O - do you make your kids say "Miss First Name" or "Miss Last Name"?

[Anonymous]

I was raised in a "Miss Last Name" household, so that's what I am teaching my kids. But here in DC there seems to be a lot of "Miss First name" and I wonder if it's confusing for the kids.

What do you ask your kids to call adults and why?

[Anonymous]

I think it's kind of a southern thing. I'm from the midwest and grew up calling people Miss "Last Name", but my three year old calls her teachers by Miss "First Name", and that's generally what we do. I also find that there are so many parents who have different last names then their children (i.e. mom kept her maiden name) that it just presents confusion trying to explain about last names, at least to a three year old.

[Anonymous]

That's because DC is a southern city, and in the South, the MISS FIRST NAME is customary.

We always went with MISS SMITH if the name was Smith.

If the name was Papadallapopadoos, we went with Mr. George.

[Anonymous]

I often don't know/remember last names so we use a combination of Miss first name, so-and-so's Mom, and first name.

[Anonymous]

We use both depending on the person, their name, their role, and their preference. Sometimes you don't know the last name or you can't remember it so you fall into the habit of Ms. First Name. Sometimes the last name is difficult to pronounce, hyphenated, or different from the spouse or child. Ms. First Name also happens to be very common in the South and in some cultures (it's popular with our African American friends and colleagues).

[Anonymous]

I ask what a person prefers to be called, and then go by that.

[Anonymous]

I introduce my kids to my friends this way: "Julia, this is my friend Oprah Winfrey."

Julia: Hi Ms. Winfrey
Oprah: Hi Julia; you can just call me Oprah.
Julia: Okay.

And forevermore, Julia will call her Oprah, though she will introduce her to others as "This is Oprah Winfrey, my mom's friend."
I want my kids to call you whatever you are comfortable being called.

If Oprah had not said anything, Julia would continue to call her Ms. Winfrey until the end of time. Both girls have run into former teachers and been told they can use their first names since they aren't in their class anymore. Neither of them can do it.

[Anonymous]

The Miss First Name thing is a Southern thing. I am not Southern, so won't be pushing that for my kids.

When I was growing up, my East Coast dad pushed the Mr/Ms Last Name thing for all adults, which most adults thought was weird (I grew up in Northern California). **IF** an adult said, "oh, no, please call me (first name)," then we were allowed to, but I still call someone of my parent's friends Mr./Mrs. last name (I am 32) because they never said it was okay to change.

[Anonymous]

Mostly Ms. First name though we are at a school that uses first names for all staff so that is going by the wayside.

[Anonymous]

Most of my friends had kids before me so I go with what their kids call me (although none of them call me Ms Last Name). In our circle, we mostly just use first names and that's my preference. In fact, whenever a friend introduces me to her kids as Ms. First Name, I always want to say, "no, please just call me Sally" but I let the parent make the choice. If they want their kids to use a certain format for adults, I don't want to go against their wishes.

Growing up, we always used Ms/Mr First Name, other than teachers. I still call my parents' friends Ms/Mr First Name.

[Anonymous]

My 3 yo calls people by their names.

Our neighbors are Dick and Jane.
My boss is Tom.
We've chosen to call some of our cousins Aunt or Uncle but that's because our family is small and we're engineering more aunts and uncles.

Never encountered another parent wanting to be called Miss or anything, but with exceptions of close neighbors we just call them "Cindy's mom."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Miss First Name thing is a Southern thing. I am not Southern, so won't be pushing that for my kids.

When I was growing up, my East Coast dad pushed the Mr/Ms Last Name thing for all adults, which most adults thought was weird (I grew up in Northern California). **IF** an adult said, "oh, no, please call me (first name)," then we were allowed to, but I still call someone of my parent's friends Mr./Mrs. last name (I am 32) because they never said it was okay to change.

This is us, too. I got a lovely note from one friend's mother signed "Love, Mrs. LastName." It was hilarious, but I was glad I never offended her by switching to her first name w/o permission!

[Anonymous]

In daycare, it's always Miss Firstname

[Anonymous]

I was also raised in a "Miss last name" household, and that's what I teach my kids. I tell my kids to call Amy Smith "Mrs. Smith", unless she specifically requests to be called "Miss Amy."

[Anonymous]

Some kids (7 years old) just call me "first name" and I have asked them and their parents to add a "Miss" in front of it - or call me "Mrs. Last name." I do not think these young children are my peers. Some of the kids have adopted a "Miss First name" approach, but not all.

I disagree that "Miss First Name" is strictly a Southern thing. I know plenty of people from all over who are raising their children saying "Miss/Mr. First Name."

Today, still, at 40-something years old, I call my parents friends "Mrs./Mr. Last name." It's what I'm comfortable with.