How did you decide to stop BF'ing

[Anonymous]

I recently read a great string of posts about formula feeding guilt. I have a horribly low supply. I've tried it all: lactation consultants, sns, pumping...and so on. I'm now on BF'ing, bottles and pumping. It eats up a lot of time and I still think DS ends up with 75%-90% formula.

I know BF'ing can't be too long term for me. DS gets frustrated...sometimes it goes OK, sometimes not.

How did you make the decision that ok..enough is enough, time to stop. I think I just want this to work so bad. I change my mind everyday to either stop or keep going.

[Anonymous]

I could have written your post. Still waffling myself. Interested in any replies you receive.

[Anonymous]

Same here!!! It routinely takes me over an hour to feed my child. I'm also very interested to hear other's replies.
I think this is much more common than they'd like us to believe. I met someone who had the same problem and lasted only 4 weeks. I'm on week 9 now. I was hoping to make it until I go back to work.

[Anonymous]

How long have you been trying? What are your motivations for continuing? Any possibility of relaxing about the fact that you are supplementing with formula for nutrition and just enjoying the bonding experience that the limited nursing time brings?

I can tell you that - even with no supply issues - breastfeeding was more of a job than a pleasure until about 6 mos pp. Then the "picturesque" things started to happen that many of us associate with the experience (db gazing up at me, raising her arm to touch my face, etc.). It's like the "reward" for hanging in there finally pays off.

[Anonymous]

It's a personal decision. You know YOUR body best and YOU know your baby's needs best so don't let anybody on this board or general society dictate what is best for your situation.

Sure lots of factors influence your decision. Some you can control, some you can't.

For me personally, I was fortunate enough to be able to nurse an army of babies. So, for me the limiting factor was DD. She became more and more interested in solid food so it was "easy" to wean her successfully. She really wasn't as interested in BM at about 11 mo. so I started pumping less and less (yipee!).

Good luck to you and whatever decision you make.

[Anonymous]

Me too! I have been supplementing and it was going just fine, but I have noticed in the last couple of days what seems to be a decrease in my supply, and nursing is getting harder on both of us. My baby is a month old. I will start pumping again (so, also doing the bf, bottle, pump thing that OP talks about) to get my supply back up (not like it was a lot to start with) but I'm unenthused. With our current situation of supplementing, I have a happy, thriving child and I'm a happy mom, but I get stressed just thinking about pumping round the clock in addition to breast and bottlefeeding already. I wonder whether the benefits of breastfeeding really outweigh the stress that continuing trying to breastfeed will bring.

Really, at this point, I am continuing just because I know that ANY breast milk is better than none, but if it gets harder than it currently is, I will be very tempted to quit. I already feel like it's sort of an exercise in futility for us and that the effort may be more trouble than its worth. It's hard not to feel guilty, though, and feel pressured to continue. I just have to wonder at what point a calm and relaxed mom brings more benefits than some breast milk?

[Anonymous]

This is a good question. I'm trying to make this decision too. For me, my supply is okay and latching is good (although we are supplementing - I have twins who were very small so we started off supplementing and never got off of it), but since I have to feed both babies separately (they are very gassy and have reflux so tandem nursing not working for us) feeding takes a lot of time w/nursing and pumping for some of the supplemental bottles.

So, I am weighing what I think I will gain by weaning (more time and since I also have a 2 year old time is very valuable) versus by continuing (helping protect twins from colds brought home by the 2 year old, etc - again very valuable). Basically at the moment the scales are balanced. My current thought is to hang in there for 2 more weeks when twins will be 3 months. But, at the end of the day this is kind of arbitrary.

I would love to hear what made others who weaned before 6 months make the decision....

[Anonymous]

I'm in the same boat, low supply, supplementing and pumping for 3 months now. In spite of my low supply, DD always takes my breast enthusiastically and empties it thoroughly before she takes the bottle, and looks for my breast whenever I hold her close. This is what keeps me going, that she does not give up on me, that she is patient enough to take my breast knowing that she will not be satisfied at the end of it. I am so grateful for her giving me a chance to experience breastfeeding.

I will go back to work in a week and have been debating whether to pump at work or not. I will give it a try to see how much I make and then make a decision. But I will continue to breastfeed her in the evenings, at night and in the mornings, for as long as she'll have me .

[Anonymous]

Have those of you with low supply gone to a consult at the Breast Feeding Center of Washington?
If not, please do. Very worthwhile! Most pediatricians know next to nothing about breastfeeding, (though they give out tons of unasked for advice). I got sooo much out of a 30 min consult. You can have phone consults as well I think if you aren't right in DC, or the drive is too far for you.
Best of luck to you all!

[Anonymous]

I had similar low supply issues... Nursed my son, then pumped, supplemented him with what litttle bit of BM I pumped and still it wasn't enough. I gave up after about 3 weeks, and finally I was able to enjoy some time with my newborn vs. just being a miserable feeding machine. To those of you feeling guilty at the prospect of stopping... Let me alleviate some of that for you... My son thrived on formula and is now a healthy, strong 2-year old. He barely got sick at all his first year, and has zero allergies. And to answer a PP's point, the bonding that happens with nursing can also happen with bottle feeding. I would cradle my son in my arms and he would gaze into my eyes while I fed him. I was a thousand times less stressed and was able to get more rest. A happy mom is the best thing for baby.

[Anonymous]

I had horribly low supply like OP, inverted nipples, and DB had a shortened frenulum. This said, DB seemed to really enjoy the nurse-to-sleep thing, the concept of having a boob in the mouth even if there was only .75 oz coming out

Since DB clearly loved that, and I did too (the bonding skin part), I kept this up until 11 mos. At the same time, probably 97% of the nutrients came from formula.

Just do what makes sense to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a good question. I'm trying to make this decision too. For me, my supply is okay and latching is good (although we are supplementing - I have twins who were very small so we started off supplementing and never got off of it), but since I have to feed both babies separately (they are very gassy and have reflux so tandem nursing not working for us) feeding takes a lot of time w/nursing and pumping for some of the supplemental bottles.

So, I am weighing what I think I will gain by weaning (more time and since I also have a 2 year old time is very valuable) versus by continuing (helping protect twins from colds brought home by the 2 year old, etc - again very valuable). Basically at the moment the scales are balanced. My current thought is to hang in there for 2 more weeks when twins will be 3 months. But, at the end of the day this is kind of arbitrary.

I would love to hear what made others who weaned before 6 months make the decision....

You are such an inspiring mom! Sticking with nursing/pumping for twins AND still making time for a 2 year old (whom I sure is always on the-go ) is so admirable.

[Anonymous]

With my first, I stopped BFing after I went back to work and couldn't keep up with the pumping in my work environment. I know, I know I could have found a place to pump but frankly I work in a male-dominated field and was already feeling evidence of being left out professionally and frequent pumping breaks and leaking nipples wasn't helping my cause!

With my second I knew I was going to formula feed when I returned to work so instead of suffering through my whole maternity leave, I threw in the towel after a month. I figured what's the difference between getting formula for 48 weeks of her life vs. 40.

Good luck and hope you feel confident in whatever decision you choose.

[Anonymous]

I had the same supply issues as you with preemie twins. I tried everything the lactation consultants recommended - Reglan, Mother's Milk tea, pumping every two hours (while going back and forth to the hospital an hour away twice a day), to no avail.

Once the babies came home, it was just too ridiculous. They ate every two hours for 1/2 hour or more each and I was trying to pump every two hours for 20 minutes+, only to end up with about 2-3 oz. tops. It was literally taking me 1 1/2 out of every 2 hours dealing with obtaining or delivering breastmilk, even though there was never nearly enough for one, much less two, and I still had to supplement.

I think that the true realization about how insane this was came when my doctor told me that I should try bringing the babies into the bed with me and basically not leaving the bed for 3 days and only breastfeeding during that time. I couldn't believe it - these were low birthweight babies who needed to gain weight, and she wanted me to basically withold food from them and in order to try to up my supply.

It was difficult for me to give up the pump, but looking back it was the best thing I could have done, and I don't regret it one bit. You really have to just try to let go, knowing that the release of all of the related stress will enable you to truly enjoy your time with your child. Formula is safe and there is nothing wrong with using it out of choice or necessity. I believe that some of the lactation consultants and breastfeeding advocates are very irresponsible in how they induce this guilt. I have PCOS and believe that was a contributing factor to my supply issues. Some women have other medical conditions that impact supply. Not everyone can breastfeed. The quality of the time you spend with your child over his/her lifetime is what's important, not breastmilk vs. formula. The fact that you are agonizing to this extent over this issue shows that you are a good of a parent who will take care of your child.

I wish you and others in this situation the best. Believe me - you will be so much happier once you've put this behind you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: It eats up a lot of time and I still think DS ends up with 75%-90% formula.

I know BF'ing can't be too long term for me. DS gets frustrated...sometimes it goes OK, sometimes not.

These are the exact reasons I stopped. I felt pressure from people (mostly rude comments from strangers), but finally started saying outloud to them - this is what works best for me and my baby. It made me feel better about my decision and I think it helped curb the annoying comments from peopl. Do whatever works for you and your family!