Don't meant to sound racist usually followed by racist comment

[Anonymous]

Ever noticed how when people say "I dont mean to sound racist" it is followed by, pretty much, a racist statement?

I'm "white" and am in occasional receipt of these sorts of comments by other "white" people about other people or are not.

Sigh.

[Anonymous]

What about stereotyping gays or lesbians followed by the comment, "not that there's anything wrong with that."

[Anonymous]

Yep. Just like "No offense, but..." is always followed by an offensive comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about stereotyping gays or lesbians followed by the comment, "not that there's anything wrong with that."

Don't people say that because of Seinfeld? I thought at this point people usually just say it to be funny.

[Anonymous]

Jim Gaffigan did a whole bit about this. Pretty funny and spot on.

[Anonymous]

I bet! Gaffigan is great. Must find that one.

[Anonymous]

I hear you OP. It's weird, every time a coworker or friend says this to me they are of a different race than I am and talking about someone who is neither of our races.

[Anonymous]

...just saying' is the same in my head.

You may as well start the sentence with "I don't mean to sound like a bitch but, ... Just sayin'."

Grrr.

[Anonymous]

Another is "Nothing against you but...." .

[Anonymous]

Yup. If you ever want an eye-opening experience, tell people on here that you are a minority. I'm white, but DH is a minority. Sometimes I post about things that happen with his family and pps assume I am minority too. It's truly eye opening the things that people say. People accuse you of being a victim, etc., even when you are saying things that wouldn't even merit a mention if you said them as a white person. I strongly encourage people to give it a try just because it is so insightful into what minorities actually experience. Honestly, you just want to discuss something that has nothing to do with race and you end up on the receiving end of someone who wants to turn you into a Fox News race card stereotype and yell at you about it. Imagine going through life like that!

[Anonymous]

OP here. Indeed all of you are spot on. I am, I have come to understand, in a "mixed race" marriage. People routinely see me with my child and assume she is adopted. My husband is an American Born Asian, and I am "white", and again and again, I come across funny little half-implied tropes and memes.

I actually have had people ask me where my daughter is "from" and I have thus far resisted the urge to point to my crotch. So I let them off the hook with a "if I wasnt there myself, I would not believe it either".

I am very troubled, though, by some of the comments I have received that are clearly an attempt to indicate that in some way my mixed race child is ok while other mixed race children might not be. In other words, if my husband was black, I would be treated even differently. Im in sort of a hazy middle ground where, for whatever reason, Asian is not considered as much "not white" as "black" is. Or something like that. I dont know. I know I cannot explain it completely, but I am very aware of the nuances.

I have known my husband since we were kids, so I keep forgetting that other people see him as in any way "different" from or "other"than me.

[Anonymous]

In the next couple of generations this will happen to whites, too. Hispanics and Chinese will be majority then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about stereotyping gays or lesbians followed by the comment, "not that there's anything wrong with that."

Don't people say that because of Seinfeld? I thought at this point people usually just say it to be funny.

My cousin used to do this long before Seinfeld. He was clever enough to realize that many people do this.

[Anonymous]

My brother gets this reaction from people all the time when he's out alone with his kids. (He's white and his wife is Asian.)

Actually, it was kind of funny this one time when we went to an Asian restaurant, the waitresses just fawned over their kids (they are awfully cute), and asked "Where are they from?" He answered, "New Jersey."

His wife walked a few minutes later, and the ladies had that a-ha moment.

[Anonymous]

And at 13:39, I agree with you. Honestly based on what I have seen and experienced, I would really do horribly at being a minority. Im not sure people understand the amount of brain processing time required to deal with these things that minorities experience end deal with every day.