Am I the only person who doesn't have her kids in evening activities?

[Anonymous]

Frankly I don't have the energy to take them. The playdate from time to time is enough for me and they haven't requested evening acitivites. We have dinner together. I occasionally have to work in the evening or attend a PTA meeting, but usually we have dinner together and unless DH is late it includes him. We let them watch TV (hanging head in shame) as long as homework is complete and they hang out. They go to bed early and rise early so there's only so much time.

Am I in the minority?

[Anonymous]

Depends. How old are your kids?

[Anonymous]

You're not alone.

[Anonymous]

In this town, yes you are probably the minority. But honestly thats probably a good thing. Kids are way over scheduled now compared to when we were kids. Its funny because I grew up with a stay at home mom and she complained if ever had more than two evening activities a week! Quite frankly, spending time together as a family, eating dinner, kids learning to either play together or self entertain will probably serve them better later in life than violin, piano, soccer, t ball, etc....

[Anonymous]

If your kids have some passion about something and are spending time doing something besides TV and hanging out then it is fine. But too often what happens is that kids get to be teenagers and really have no interests because they never tried out anything when they were younger. It would be different if you didn't have the money or time, but not to do even a once a week activity is strange. Have your kids ever been involved in a team sport? Does your kids' school have a lot of activities that keep them busy?

[Anonymous]

Very, very rare for us.

[Anonymous]

OP here. They are in elementary school. They have no athletic potential, but we do swim lessons during the summer. One in particular enjoys math, so i just teach him things as he asks. The other just likes to play with friends and that's what I did when I was her age.

[Anonymous]

They still have plenty of time ahead of them. I feel the same way about preschool- I don't want to put my 2.5 yo in any "collective" care just yet.

[Anonymous]

We wouldn't have evening activities but their soccer teams meet at 6 pm, so we go.

[Anonymous]

are they in aftercare? I would hsve a hard time doing after school activities unles they were aftercare related.

My kids aren't, and so there are a few days we have after school (but not evening) activities. Somedays they just play, but they both like sports so one has soccer all school year, and tball in the spring. The other will start music lessons. The older one has religious education, too. They both have gymnastics Sat morning.

I struggle with the balance between overscheduled vs not taking advantage of fun opportunities.

If your kids want to do any sports, for example, you need some outside activity. PE class at school isn't enough. So I think it depends on how you approach it - what types of enrichment do you want them to have, and what types of things are there interested in?

I do think we push activities at an earlier and earlier age, and there is a level that is too much. Some unstructured time is good.

But I want my kids to be able to explore and do fun things until they decide what is realyl for them. I'd love to give my daughter horse riding lessons, though I recognize that's impractical (too much money/time for the long term). We were jsut talking about tennis, for example. We need to sign up for swimming, becaue I think that's a skill set they absolutely need to have.

I also think kids should learn some level of music, so we'll sign up for that eventually. But I do think we verge into too much. Right now they each have two activities during the week, plus one on Sat.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it is rare in this area. We don't do a lot as my kids have tried a lot of things but sports do not come naturally and that is where you find the busyness because of multiple practices and games. Piano for one and art for another but those only meet once a week. Same for scouts as they meet twice a month.

I like not running everywhere but the problem you find is that most of the kids in the neighborhood are doing a lot so often there is no one to go outside and play with. Same in the summer. So, then you find yourself doing all the camps too because after an hour of tv or electronics there is a lot of time to fill. I am talking late ES and MS. When mine we younger it was very easy to just go to the park, sit on a blanket and read, do a puzzle, build a lego. It is when they are older that you (I) with it,

[Anonymous]

Just because they have "no athletic potential" doesn't mean they shouldn't be doing a sport. Sports can be fun and build character.

[Anonymous]

9 yr old and 13 yr old - NO ACTIVITIES....yet. Starting swimming soon. And when they do have activities it's only one each.

Dinner as a family is very important, and I refuse to be one of those maniac moms that drives like a bat out of hell to get my kids from one activity to the next. It's not good for anyone involved.

[Anonymous]

No evening activities for us. Kids are 7 and 9. I won't drive at night, and even if I did, I don't think we could handle it.

[Anonymous]

I can't afford many after-school activities so I am happy that my son has tried soccer, baseball and lacrosse and says he isn't interested in team sports. He does take 6 weeks on swimming lessons in the winter and may try a new sport for 6-8 weeks sometime during the school year. Last year, it was rock climbing which he loved and now he wants to try fencing. But normally, he watches TV and plays outside with the kids on our street and does homework.