Kane from Kaneshow divorcing and crying on air right now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see a problem with referring to N as a "single mom." I don't think that term is just reserved for moms who are completely left by the dad. N is obviously the one caring for the kids day in and day out: taking them to school/camp, cleaning up after them, cooking meals, tucking into bed, etc. Whereas P (even though a fun, caring dad) is really just the one hanging out with them once or twice a week, taking them to do fun activities. It's not a criticism of him — he has a demanding job and clearly loves his daughters. But it's easy to see N is the one doing the real, everyday task of being a parent, and now she's really doing it by herself (not that that didn't seem to be the case before, honestly). Hence, single mom.

NO, NO, NO, she's not a single mom! I'm a single mom and work two jobs and I do everything else a stay-at-home mom does, but I don't have another another adult at home to help me in any why whatsoever. It's a MASSIVE insult to single-moms to call anyone who is NOT really a single-mom a single-mom. STOP. Just stop.

And that makes you awesome! Seriously. You're a badass and a crazy hard worker! Lots of respect to you. However, I still think it's a term that describes one situation for a variety of many people. I just don't see how a divorced woman can't be considered a single mom? Just because the kids still see their dad once a week? It makes zero sense to me, and I don't see the point in berating women who use it that way. You and N have differences, but you are BOTH mothers who are SINGLE and the primary caretaker. I don't see a reason to be insulted. One is a single mom who is working two jobs, the other is a single mom who is a stay at home. Why constantly compare your (and I mean "your" in a general sense) workload to that of others, as if that determines better recognition/value?

The previous poster, wrote the it was okay to call her a single mom because she did most of the child rearing, while being married and financially taken care of. That's insane. Read her comments.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't see a problem with referring to N as a "single mom." I don't think that term is just reserved for moms who are completely left by the dad. N is obviously the one caring for the kids day in and day out: taking them to school/camp, cleaning up after them, cooking meals, tucking into bed, etc. Whereas P (even though a fun, caring dad) is really just the one hanging out with them once or twice a week, taking them to do fun activities. It's not a criticism of him — he has a demanding job and clearly loves his daughters. But it's easy to see N is the one doing the real, everyday task of being a parent, and now she's really doing it by herself (not that that didn't seem to be the case before, honestly). Hence, single mom. [/quote]
NO, NO, NO, she's not a single mom! I'm a single mom and work two jobs and I do everything else a stay-at-home mom does, but I don't have another another adult at home to help me in any why whatsoever. It's a MASSIVE insult to single-moms to call anyone who is NOT really a single-mom a single-mom. STOP. Just stop.[/quote]

And that makes you awesome! Seriously. You're a badass and a crazy hard worker! Lots of respect to you. However, I still think it's a term that describes one situation for a variety of many people. I just don't see how a divorced woman can't be considered a single mom? Just because the kids still see their dad once a week? It makes zero sense to me, and I don't see the point in berating women who use it that way. You and N have differences, but you are BOTH mothers who are SINGLE and the primary caretaker. I don't see a reason to be insulted. One is a single mom who is working two jobs, the other is a single mom who is a stay at home. Why constantly compare your (and I mean "your" in a general sense) workload to that of others, as if that determines better recognition/value? [/quote]

NP here: it's wrong because it undermines everything a true single mom goes through and puts people like N and those moms in the same category. I was a single mom before I met my husband. There is NOTHING that could happen to my marriage today that would make me feel like I did back then. Alone, nobody to fall back on, no co-parent. Nobody to care, worry, love like I did. Nobody to share the responsibility, bills, hard times, milestones or smiles. Nobody to discuss my child's newly diagnosed health issue, research it, make plans. Raising kids is hard work. And it goes way beyond the day-to-day stuff. If it didn't, all nannies and parents on here would have equal influence on kids' lives (nannies probably more). Being with the kids all day because you don't work doesn't mean you're a better parent. It's the freaking least you can do.
Her kids have all the emotional, financial and structural support from their dad that they had before. Besides mommy and daddy not being together, nothing has really changed for them (same house, school, friends). Their mom doesn't have to work two jobs and wonder when the hell things will get better so she can spend some more time with them. If she'll be able to afford college. If she's going to lose her job(s) if the kids get sick. That's being a single parent. Natasha does NOT get to wear that badge. She is not a single mom. She is a mom who is now single.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't see a problem with referring to N as a "single mom." I don't think that term is just reserved for moms who are completely left by the dad. N is obviously the one caring for the kids day in and day out: taking them to school/camp, cleaning up after them, cooking meals, tucking into bed, etc. Whereas P (even though a fun, caring dad) is really just the one hanging out with them once or twice a week, taking them to do fun activities. It's not a criticism of him — he has a demanding job and clearly loves his daughters. But it's easy to see N is the one doing the real, everyday task of being a parent, and now she's really doing it by herself (not that that didn't seem to be the case before, honestly). Hence, single mom. [/quote]
NO, NO, NO, she's not a single mom! I'm a single mom and work two jobs and I do everything else a stay-at-home mom does, but I don't have another another adult at home to help me in any why whatsoever. It's a MASSIVE insult to single-moms to call anyone who is NOT really a single-mom a single-mom. STOP. Just stop.[/quote]

And that makes you awesome! Seriously. You're a badass and a crazy hard worker! Lots of respect to you. However, I still think it's a term that describes one situation for a variety of many people. I just don't see how a divorced woman can't be considered a single mom? Just because the kids still see their dad once a week? It makes zero sense to me, and I don't see the point in berating women who use it that way. You and N have differences, but you are BOTH mothers who are SINGLE and the primary caretaker. I don't see a reason to be insulted. One is a single mom who is working two jobs, the other is a single mom who is a stay at home. Why constantly compare your (and I mean "your" in a general sense) workload to that of others, as if that determines better recognition/value? [/quote]

NP here: it's wrong because it undermines everything a true single mom goes through and puts people like N and those moms in the same category. I was a single mom before I met my husband. There is NOTHING that could happen to my marriage today that would make me feel like I did back then. Alone, nobody to fall back on, no co-parent. Nobody to care, worry, love like I did. Nobody to share the responsibility, bills, hard times, milestones or smiles. Nobody to discuss my child's newly diagnosed health issue, research it, make plans. Raising kids is hard work. And it goes way beyond the day-to-day stuff. If it didn't, all nannies and parents on here would have equal influence on kids' lives (nannies probably more). Being with the kids all day because you don't work doesn't mean you're a better parent. It's the freaking least you can do.
Her kids have all the emotional, financial and structural support from their dad that they had before. Besides mommy and daddy not being together, nothing has really changed for them (same house, school, friends). Their mom doesn't have to work two jobs and wonder when the hell things will get better so she can spend some more time with them. If she'll be able to afford college. If she's going to lose her job(s) if the kids get sick. That's being a single parent. Natasha does NOT get to wear that badge. She is not a single mom. She is a mom who is now single.[/quote]

I think a lot of moms on this thread spend too much time finding ways to explain why they're so much better than others. It's really silly. All mamas are amazing. You don't need to prove why you are or why someone else isn't. I still think it's single mom either way, just in different circumstances (and yes, yes I know she isn't technically divorced yet). My mom was actually in a situation somewhat similar to N's: got divorced with two young kids. My mom raised me and my sibling: took us to school, cooked our meals, picked up after us (you get it) -- all of this while also attending night school to get a better job. But guess what? My dad was also in the picture. Great guy, but only saw him once a week for dinner. Was my mom a single parent? Absolutely! She had to be a parent all by herself most hours out of the week without the kind of love, support an unseparated parent (supposedly) gets. Plus she was working super hard to support us on her own dime.

Anyways ... I'm sticking to what I said. You are both single moms in different situations. You are both wearing an "awesome mom" badge and that should be good enough. Stop comparing yourselves already and start supporting each other.

[Anonymous]

^^^ I am the poster you quoted. As I stated, I'm no longer a single mom. I don't need to wear a badge I don't own. You are completely missing the point, maybe intentionally. I don't think moms who are single are better or worse than single moms. Or that married moms are better or worse than either of those. But you don't get to call yourself a yoga expert because you attended class for a few weeks. Or call yourself a doctor when you're an architect. But you seem too dense to understand the principle, so I'll leave it alone.

[Anonymous]

Why don't you thirty or so out of towers just start your own Kane blog?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I remember her saying on air that when they were (dating or earlier in their marriage--can't remember) she would take money without him noticing by getting $40 cash back every time she went to the store. She didn't think he'd notice unless he looked over the receipts, which he didn't. She laughed about it, but I remember thinking that was just so wrong! It's the sneaking and hiding that's wrong. I believe everything he's said. I'm sure that she has some legit claims, but I can totally see that she would be sneaky and clear out their accounts and not pay bills to stockpile money to line her own pockets.

I said that a page or two back from this one, and I think it was an ongoing thing in their marriage. I think Kane had her on an "allowance" and that was her way of cheating to get more money to support her shopping addiction.

[Anonymous]

She is currently parenting without a partner as they are no longer living under the same roof and aren't sharing any duties. She flies solo when she has the kids, just as he flies solo when he has them. That's the reality of their situation. If you want to debate the legality of their situation, that's fine--but that's just semantics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is currently parenting without a partner as they are no longer living under the same roof and aren't sharing any duties. She flies solo when she has the kids, just as he flies solo when he has them. That's the reality of their situation. If you want to debate the legality of their situation, that's fine--but that's just semantics.

You seem really dense.

[Anonymous]

she has a new blog

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:she has a new blog

You might want to go back a page or two, the link was posted there.

[Anonymous]

Did you all read N's response to a comment on her blog post, Unconditional Love:

"I know, right? I ask myself that almost every day Michelle. It wasn’t what I wanted, but that’s all I can really say. I just posted, finally, this has been a very thing to go through personally but then to have it all aired out publicly, and so falsely, that was beyond brutal. I’m still confused by it but it’s time to move forward. To try and grow, what else can you do right? Force someone to stay?"

Implies that he's the one that left her...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you all read N's response to a comment on her blog post, Unconditional Love:

"I know, right? I ask myself that almost every day Michelle. It wasn’t what I wanted, but that’s all I can really say. I just posted, finally, this has been a very thing to go through personally but then to have it all aired out publicly, and so falsely, that was beyond brutal. I’m still confused by it but it’s time to move forward. To try and grow, what else can you do right? Force someone to stay?"

Implies that he's the one that left her...

I read this too. Weird. I guess we'll never know the truth

[Anonymous]

Or she's trying really really hard for sympathy. He's the one who has said time and time again that he won't ever get a divorce. So either she really screwed up for him to change his opinion on divorce, or she wanted it.

[Anonymous]

Either way she knew it was coming.

[Anonymous]

...or it's very easy to say you'll never divorce while you are able to cheat...but it's perhaps not so easy for the other partner to simply grin and bear it.

Who walks away from a spouse whose career is climbing high unless there's a very compelling reason? Most women married to successful men tolerate all kinds of nonsense in exchange for the financial stability and perks. So I suspect he ended it...after all, he was the one in therapy and that process can open up all kinds of cans of worms. Or if he didn't end it, perhaps he came home from therapy spewing nonsense and hinting that he needed a break or wasn't sure that he was feeling sufficiently loved or supported, so she left in a way that protected her rather than waiting to be dumped.