s/o the Chinese MIL
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Anonymous
| any tips or things to watch out for? looks like I will be marrying into that culture very soon.... |
Anonymous
| Controlling, guilt-tripping, crazy, and manipulative. |
Anonymous
| OMG, PP you are dead on, its scarey!!! |
Anonymous
| They're not all bad but, as with anything, it's always good to establish boundaries. In the beginning, it's better to more restrictive so you can lighten up later if you're comfortable. If they're too lax, it's harder to establish more restrictive ones. |
Anonymous
If you don't speak Chinese and she doesn't speak English you will have no problems 
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Anonymous
| My Chinese MIL is pretty awesome I must say. |
Anonymous
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The stereotype for all asian MILs: a generation or more ago, your DH would have brought you to live with her and the family, and you would have been the least important person of the house and the one ordered around to serve everybody else, cook, clean, and bear children.
My own asian MIL has recounted horror stories of her years as a young bride in MIL's household. But now... your house, your rules, I say! Always present an unfailingly polite and polished exterior. Appearance counts for a lot. And underneath just keep your distance and establish boundaries immediately. |
Anonymous
| Were the Chinese MILs tiger moms when SO was growing up? |
Anonymous
Thanks! What do you mean by underneath keep your distance? not to get too close? |
Anonymous
My mom (poor sils) but my Jewish mil is no better, |
Anonymous
I think this is key, and goes both ways. She never said anything to my face, but complained plenty to family. My concern is that DH is a mama's boy - not in a bad way necessarily, but he loves his mom a lot and respects her immensely. Which makes it difficult saying no and drawing boundaries. It hasn't been too much of an issue, because ILs live in China now, but if they relocate close by, I can see many problems coming up. |
Anonymous
| And I keep hearing about how Asian women are soooo submissive from various guys ... |
Anonymous
If you're talking about Chinese-Americans, that's a myth! It is a misperception - they might seem submissive and docile at first, because they are polite, and know how to handle men without telling them off right away or bruising their egos. My SIL and MIL run their households, what they say goes. FIL is deathly afraid of MIL's temper. |
Anonymous
Dummies  I'm Korean and in our culture women are referred to as "iron butterflies" - may look delicate and fragile but tough as nails. Men may rule at work but women rule at home and everyone knows it.
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Anonymous
Seriously. This is such an annoying stereotype. |