I didn't come to an art museum to watch you nurse a toddler

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am wondering why people take toddlers to places like art galleries. Seriously. Are you having a nice time enjoying the art while keeping up with a toddler? Why not go on your own or with friends instead of bringing a toddler who nurses on demand if you want to see the art?

Why are childless people posting on a parenting topic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's uncool. I have no problem whatsoever with women nursing infants but a verbal toddler is old enough to be told, "no eating in an art gallery" or "wait for milk until later". It's entirely different than nursing an infant.[/quote

Exactly. The same way you'd tell a toddler they have to wait to have their goldfish crackers, or if they can't wait, head out of the gallery.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Frankly bringing babies and toddlers to art galleries is stupid. They don’t care. They disturb the patrons who do care, many of whom might have just this one chance to see these things.

Because the only reason parents go to art galleries is for their kids. We should just all stay home and do nothing until our kids are old enough to appreciate it all.

You can stay away from art galleries until they can behave properly. It’s not forever.

You can move to the next room over and MYOB for free. Take care of yourself; you're not a toddler who needs other people's mommies to cater to your whiny little self, are you?

You think because YOU want something everyone else should accommodate you. It’s not a playground. Lots of people save for a long time to come and see these things, To consider the history and culture around them. Have some consideration for other people. Not everyone has the luxury to just pop in because it’s hot outside.

The National Gallery is free and huge. You can actually just pop in for a few minutes and then leave and then come back at your leisure. And if there are people in any gallery who are bothering you, you can easily move on to one of the other hundreds of galleries in the museum and then return a bit later, at very little inconvenience.

You, on the other hand, think that breastfeeding mothers should simply not be allowed in the museum at all, or should have to leave entirely when their children get hungry, because the mere thought of being in the same building as a woman breastfeeding her child is upsetting to you. Where is your consideration for other people???

You don’t seem to understand that courtesy is a two way street. I think everyone should be allowed but behave in a courteous manner which means that no one persons needs and wants supersedes the comfort and enjoyment of the others.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You problem entirely.

And no I don’t need to cover or leave the room.

Pop that kid in a sling, latch, keep it moving, or sit as needed. I’ve nursed on just about every bench on every museum and at the arboretum and zoo as well. It’s how you manage kids on dc. Free spots with ac when it’s warm and outside when it’s cooler

Not every child weans at one year or solids. It’s normal for a toddler to comfort nurse as well.

And we shouldn’t have to hike to a lactation room hell and gone across the museum so you’re comfy. Grow up.

Parents like you are the worst. Nursing a toddler in a gallery to calm them is just weird. They don't NEED to nurse. Take them outside.

Your kids are going to be spoiled entitled PITAs just like you. Annoying and rude.

Says the person having a temper tantrum online.

Maybe they don’t NEED to nurse, but it helps them and they’re still very young plus I don’t mind doing it - and can easily comfort a tired kiddo.

How often does adults do we get to be simply soothed?

Nope.

Nursing slurping toddlers in a public space meant for quiet contemplation is inappropriate. If a child needs soothing, take them elsewhere. So sick of entitled parents raising entitled, annoying kids.

Having a tough moment is not entitlement. Expecting silence is though.

Nope.

There are multiple *public* spaces where quiet/silence are expected. Art museums, churches, etc. If you ignore this, you are the one acting rude and entitled. Period.

Take your noisy toddler out. I'm tired of the militant breast feeding brigade and the over-indulgent parents of the world trying to pretend that they are above basic manners and civiity. You and your children are insufferable and we will not coddle you.

They give tours of art museums. People talk all the time in art museums. There is no expectation of silence. You are the one demanding to be coddled.

Seriously! It's not a library. OP (and pp) seems confused.

They don't allow snacks, bottles, drinks, beverages of any sort. If your toddler cannot go the length of time required to get throught a couple of galleries at the museum, you should not be taking them there. I have been a museum leader in this city for over 15 years--this is not appreciated.

A "museum leader", eh?

Then clearly you know why many public spaces don't allow "snacks, bottles, drinks, beverages of any sort" (and several galleries DO allow water, so deal with that). It's trash. Nobody wants to deal with the trash left behind. This is a mess-reduction protocol.

So unless she was taking off her titties and throwing them on the ground when her kid was done, this isn't the same thing. At all.

You are 100% wrong. It's not because of the trash, it's because of the threat that liquids pose to the objects. But the point is, if every other human being can manage to visit a museum without "soothing," then the toddler should be able to. If they cannot, please wait until they can control themselves enough not to disrupt the experience for everybody else. The only reason breastfeeding toddlers in the middle of a gallery is not stopped is because of the vitriol the breastfeeding lunatics will rain down on the museum if they do. It is wrong to sit in the middle of the gallery and breastfeed at all, even more so with a toddler. Every single person here defending it knows that and is just doubling down.

Please tell me about the last time an object was “threatened” by breastmilk and what you did to mitigate this unbelievable risk. Did you throw yourself in front of the painting?

Are you living in the real world? Have you seen the things that aberrant people have done to priceless art for myriad reasons. If you kid can’t go an hour without eating then they shouldn’t be doing things like that. Just the other day a fool “fell” into a painting at the Uffizi trying to take a selfie. Soon we will only be able to look at pictures of the pictures because people are selfish and horrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Exactly. The same way you'd tell a toddler they have to wait to have their goldfish crackers, or if they can't wait, head out of the gallery.

For all you know the child asked earlier on the metro or during the walk, and the mom told them "you need to wait until we are at a place where I can sit in the airconditioning, and where nursing is allowed".

I think it's funny that people are suggesting both that nursing is the same as other food, and that they should go to the cafe, because generally restaurants don't allow outside food. Of course they make an exception for nursing, both because the law requires them to, and because common sense tells us that it's different. Which are the same reasons it's allowed in the gallery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Vent.

Went to the East Wing of the National Gallery yesterday. There was a noisy toddler with their parents in the same room who was begging for "boob" and then started noisily nursing. It was bone quiet and the kid was slurping and grunting.

Why does this annoy me so much? I nursed multiple kids, heck, I've nursed a kid in the National gallery! But I chose to do so outside the exhibit and privately as I could. (this was way before lactation rooms were a thing).

I want to be sympathetic and supportive of nursing mothers, but personally, I'm just really grossed out by older children loudly nursing. And feel like my experience was diminished and they were disrespectful
Of the patrons who WERE NOT interested in their kid's snack.

I agree with you. It should rude. If an adult was in there eating a snack it wood be rude. When my husband slurps imhsi soup it is rude. Sorry your experience was ruined.

Children young enough to be fed in their parents arms by breast or bottle, are permitted to do so in environments where it would be rude for others to eat.

Similarly kids get forgiveness for behavior when they haven’t yet developed the skills to do something else. A toddler who slurps when drinking, or an infant who doesn’t say please
or thank you isn’t the same as a typical husband who does the same.

[b]

I think OP's vent is directed towards the parent not the child in this situation. OP - I get it. But I'm also irritated at just about everything parents do these days, including taking their kids to the grocery store and allowing them to run amuck. Honestly, I just don't like kids nor do I like parents of kids these days - but I also realize that's me getting older and grumpier every day.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Frankly bringing babies and toddlers to art galleries is stupid. They don’t care. They disturb the patrons who do care, many of whom might have just this one chance to see these things.

Because the only reason parents go to art galleries is for their kids. We should just all stay home and do nothing until our kids are old enough to appreciate it all.

You can stay away from art galleries until they can behave properly. It’s not forever.

You can move to the next room over and MYOB for free. Take care of yourself; you're not a toddler who needs other people's mommies to cater to your whiny little self, are you?

You think because YOU want something everyone else should accommodate you. It’s not a playground. Lots of people save for a long time to come and see these things, To consider the history and culture around them. Have some consideration for other people. Not everyone has the luxury to just pop in because it’s hot outside.

The National Gallery is free and huge. You can actually just pop in for a few minutes and then leave and then come back at your leisure. And if there are people in any gallery who are bothering you, you can easily move on to one of the other hundreds of galleries in the museum and then return a bit later, at very little inconvenience.

You, on the other hand, think that breastfeeding mothers should simply not be allowed in the museum at all, or should have to leave entirely when their children get hungry, because the mere thought of being in the same building as a woman breastfeeding her child is upsetting to you. Where is your consideration for other people???

Yup. Free. Huge. Many, many spots to nurse outside of the galleries. Spots where it’s ok to eat/drink. If a child needs a snack, have a snack in the many, many spots where that’s allowed for everyone else. Nursing mothers (and I’ve been one) are not special.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frankly bringing babies and toddlers to art galleries is stupid. They don’t care. They disturb the patrons who do care, many of whom might have just this one chance to see these things.

Because the only reason parents go to art galleries is for their kids. We should just all stay home and do nothing until our kids are old enough to appreciate it all.

You can stay away from art galleries until they can behave properly. It’s not forever.

You can move to the next room over and MYOB for free. Take care of yourself; you're not a toddler who needs other people's mommies to cater to your whiny little self, are you?

You think because YOU want something everyone else should accommodate you. It’s not a playground. Lots of people save for a long time to come and see these things, To consider the history and culture around them. Have some consideration for other people. Not everyone has the luxury to just pop in because it’s hot outside.

The National Gallery is free and huge. You can actually just pop in for a few minutes and then leave and then come back at your leisure. And if there are people in any gallery who are bothering you, you can easily move on to one of the other hundreds of galleries in the museum and then return a bit later, at very little inconvenience.

You, on the other hand, think that breastfeeding mothers should simply not be allowed in the museum at all, or should have to leave entirely when their children get hungry, because the mere thought of being in the same building as a woman breastfeeding her child is upsetting to you. Where is your consideration for other people???

Yup. Free. Huge. Many, many spots to nurse outside of the galleries. Spots where it’s ok to eat/drink. If a child needs a snack, have a snack in the many, many spots where that’s allowed for everyone else. Nursing mothers (and I’ve been one) are not special.

Then why do the rules allow them to feed their children in the galleries? It’s almost as though…yes…they are treated differently than you. Why does that upset you?

[Anonymous]

I agree that the mother and toddler should have used one of the many private corners of the building. There are so many places to choose from, there’s no need to use a seat in a main exhibit. Those seats are in high demand, and should be available for elderly or disabled. If a mother chooses to bf a toddler, it should go with the responsibility of doing so in semi-private setting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that the mother and toddler should have used one of the many private corners of the building. There are so many places to choose from, there’s no need to use a seat in a main exhibit. Those seats are in high demand, and should be available for elderly or disabled. If a mother chooses to bf a toddler, it should go with the responsibility of doing so in semi-private setting.

But someone before posited that the mother had told the child to wait to breastfeed until they walked somewhere inside with air-conditioning. Maybe these quiet areas of the rooms are somehow super hot, forcing her to sit in the middle of the main rooms. because surely that's the way air-conditioning works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that the mother and toddler should have used one of the many private corners of the building. There are so many places to choose from, there’s no need to use a seat in a main exhibit. Those seats are in high demand, and should be available for elderly or disabled. If a mother chooses to bf a toddler, it should go with the responsibility of doing so in semi-private setting.

But someone before posited that the mother had told the child to wait to breastfeed until they walked somewhere inside with air-conditioning. Maybe these quiet areas of the rooms are somehow super hot, forcing her to sit in the middle of the main rooms. because surely that's the way air-conditioning works.

I know that building well. The exhibit rooms tend to be stuffier, hotter than the areas the mother had available to her - so many cooler and quieter options, too many to list! Upon walking in to any of the entrances there are quiet corners readily available, and throughout the museum there are quiet spaces to sit and reflect in the cool. I’d be sitting in a corner near the fountain or down in the concourse watching the waterfall.

[Anonymous]

This thread is hilarious.

I'm at a splash park with my kid right now, and a mom near us was in an argument in her phone and was swearing loudly in front of the kids. I gave her a dirty look and she rolled her eyes at me. I considered leaving but my kid begged to come and we just got here.

After about 5 minutes, she left. My kid was like "that woman had a potty mouth." We laughed.

Other people do not always act the way you want them to. Choose your battles, or move to one of those countries where they jail people for chewing gum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am wondering why people take toddlers to places like art galleries. Seriously. Are you having a nice time enjoying the art while keeping up with a toddler? Why not go on your own or with friends instead of bringing a toddler who nurses on demand if you want to see the art?

Why are childless people posting on a parenting topic?

I have teenagers. When they were toddlers we had a membership to the children's museum and the local pools, went to the beach (we had moved out of DC), public library, aquariums and did all sorts of stuff. Once they were old enough (still young but not toddlers), we went to "real" museums where it was appropriate for them to be and that they could enjoy. I recall a few "dates" that DH and I went on to art museums during that time--we would see an exhibit we were interested in and have a nice lunch at the museum cafe/restaurant while the kids stayed with a sitter. That time in our family's life also involved eating at home more or packing picnics, and when we dined out, we went to family-friendly places. We worked around naps and didn't just drag the kids around anywhere and everywhere. It is not that hard to do things that are logistically appropriate for both the kid and the general public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am wondering why people take toddlers to places like art galleries. Seriously. Are you having a nice time enjoying the art while keeping up with a toddler? Why not go on your own or with friends instead of bringing a toddler who nurses on demand if you want to see the art?

Why are childless people posting on a parenting topic?

I have teenagers. When they were toddlers we had a membership to the children's museum and the local pools, went to the beach (we had moved out of DC), public library, aquariums and did all sorts of stuff. Once they were old enough (still young but not toddlers), we went to "real" museums where it was appropriate for them to be and that they could enjoy. I recall a few "dates" that DH and I went on to art museums during that time--we would see an exhibit we were interested in and have a nice lunch at the museum cafe/restaurant while the kids stayed with a sitter. That time in our family's life also involved eating at home more or packing picnics, and when we dined out, we went to family-friendly places. We worked around naps and didn't just drag the kids around anywhere and everywhere. It is not that hard to do things that are logistically appropriate for both the kid and the general public.

Sounds like a skill issue. The rest of us have figured how to enjoy art museums with our kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am wondering why people take toddlers to places like art galleries. Seriously. Are you having a nice time enjoying the art while keeping up with a toddler? Why not go on your own or with friends instead of bringing a toddler who nurses on demand if you want to see the art?

Why are childless people posting on a parenting topic?

I have teenagers. When they were toddlers we had a membership to the children's museum and the local pools, went to the beach (we had moved out of DC), public library, aquariums and did all sorts of stuff. Once they were old enough (still young but not toddlers), we went to "real" museums where it was appropriate for them to be and that they could enjoy. I recall a few "dates" that DH and I went on to art museums during that time--we would see an exhibit we were interested in and have a nice lunch at the museum cafe/restaurant while the kids stayed with a sitter. That time in our family's life also involved eating at home more or packing picnics, and when we dined out, we went to family-friendly places. We worked around naps and didn't just drag the kids around anywhere and everywhere. It is not that hard to do things that are logistically appropriate for both the kid and the general public.

Sounds like a skill issue. The rest of us have figured how to enjoy art museums with our kids.

LOL my post was about the kid and the general public enjoying the art museum, too. Millennial parents are exhausting. The framework of prioritizing your own enjoyment at all times is creating a tough world to live in, IMO.