Seeking High School/College Guidance Counselor

[Anonymous]

Our child is headed for 7th Grade Algebra after getting nearly straight A's in the AAP 6th grade. Scored 99th percentile in the IAAT, and above 550 on the SOL.

Our feeling is that the aptitude is there for STEM, and the interest may come later. However, our child refuses to engage in any extracurricular activities which even remotely relate to STEM. She excels at a variety of things outside of school (music, theater, dance, voice) but does not see herself doing Math Team or Science Fair.

She says she wants to go to TJ, and will likely have the grades, but she needs to be convinced either:

1. To do some STEM extracurriculars to help her achieve her goal of going to TJ; or
2. Plan to go the local high school.

There is no problem with the local high school, per se, other than the view of the elite schools' admissions offices (yes she also says she wants to study at the very top schools). I think they always wonder, "why didn't she go to TJ if she's so smart?"

There's also the issue of admissions rates. If TJ sends 3-5 kids every year to Princeton (several dozen overall to the Ivies), and the local high school gets one kid in every 2-3 years, doesn't it seem like the chances are better at TJ?

Looking for a highly qualified person to help us navigate these challenges, and provide the right advice for our child.

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

It's a significant problem, since only TJ kids get into decent colleges. Look at Harvard - the entire Freshman class, all from TJ, since forever.

[Anonymous]

Middle school teacher here -- I think you should talk to her about learning more about STEM. At her age, she might not have an interest in science because her experience is limited, or it might not be her passion. Look around for an extracurricular or camp that will help her figure that out. Also TJ used to have a women in science day; I suggest you look into that.

TJ is a great school, but no matter where you go to high school you need to stand out. If she isn't passionate about STEM, she isn't going to show that spark which teachers write about in recommendations and base awards on.

This is more to education than just getting into a good college. I'm sure your daughter will no matter what from her test scores. Make sure you emphasize learning, trying new things and pursuing her passions. That's what being young is all about.

[Anonymous]

Chill out a little, I feel sorry for your child. you "feel that the aptitude is there" for STEM, yet your child has repeatedly refused to participate in your activities. Did it ever cross your mind that she didn't like it? You stated that she has other interests, maybe your should encourage those instead of trying to force a "passion" on your 12 year old.

About the high schools: 1. one can still be admitted to TJ without oodles of science extracurriculars, especially with strong grades and test scores in science and math.
2. You don't have to decide now
3. You live in NoVa-your public high school provides an excellent education so if your daughter does not want to attend TJ or doesn't get in, she is still likely to get a challenging education if she wants one.
4. Have you asked her about performing arts magnets/schools with strong art programs? Seems worthwhile if that's what she loves to do.

For the love of God, do not worry about college. She has 6 years to worry about college. Admissions counselors judge applicants' courseloads and performance in those courses against the rigor of the individual school and the opportunities available. So when fall of senior year comes, should she be at the local high school and still want to apply to the "very top schools" (whatever the heck that means), she could still go to an ivy league school or top lac.

But when all is said and done, these schools have 5% and 6% acceptance rates. It's a lottery. I will say it again: breathe.

[Anonymous]

My breathing became shallow just reading OP's post, from the stress I imagined her child is under. For God's sake, you cannot create your child's passion. What you can do is make them feel like a failure in your eyes and stress them out. You child is only 12 (or maybe 13?) and you have her life planned out for her. Does she get any say? If she has no interest in STEM, she has no interest in STEM. You can't force it, but you can screw her up trying. Same with your fixation on Princeton. You have a 12 year old and you are posting in the college section trying to find ways to game her future. This is not a good thing. I have an older teen and I have seen the kind of damage this can cause in kids. please let her find her own passions and back off.

I reported 10:46 because he is posting all over the college section advertising his business. Hence, he's the only one in this thread who doesn't think you are putting too much pressure on your child, because pressure on your child is his business.