Which grade to place an academically advanced but socially-challenged child?

[Anonymous]

DS was retained last year - went into K instead of 1st, per the recommendation of his preschool teacher and developmental pediatrician.
The teacher called it "social immaturity" and the ped called it "significant receptive-expressive language disorder, with ADHD-NOS".

I pushed the principal last year to retain DS. Eventually I prevailed, but she told me she would not skip him ahead at a later time.

Well, now I am seriously conflicted:

DS has been ostracized at recess for his misunderstanding of group rules, he has been bullied because he is so naive, he has received speech therapy all year, he has had accomodations in class for his inattention. I do not know if his social skills and general quirkiness will ever improve. I was afraid placing him in his real age group would make socialization even more difficult with more demanding and critical peers.

But this summer he read the first 2 Harry Potter books, all the Calvin & Hobbes, nearly all the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series. He is mastering three-digit substractions with borrowing and was intrigued by multiplication but didn't learn the tables. Now I'm afraid he might get bored in class, something I never imagined last year!

If this was your child, what would you do?

PS - I don't have money right now for private school

[Anonymous]

Deal with the problems and don't equate them to his grade. Changing his grade doesn't sound like an option or a solution.

[Anonymous]

Many pediatricians and other health professionals have never been in a classroom. They have very little concept of the educational environment. Their context is usually 1:1 appointments. It is one of the issues in the health / education integration system. People with expertise making recommendations about systems they don't know well. Just like educators making decisions about medical or healthcare issues. Seeing as you went against the principal I would just put him in 1st. The teacher should be able to differentiate to keep him stimulated.

[Anonymous]

" and the ped called it "significant receptive-expressive language disorder, with ADHD-NOS".


Give me a break!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Deal with the problems and don't equate them to his grade. Changing his grade doesn't sound like an option or a solution.

+1

I would personally leave the grade alone and see how well your current school can deal with twice-exceptional students. If they know what to do and have a positive track record, you should be okay. If they aren't really prepared to deal with the ADHD much less possibly being above level in reading and math, then find the best public school in your district for twice-exceptional kids and do what you have to do to get into that school e.g request a transfer, rent an apartment or home in boundary for that school, rent out your current house if need be for in boundary for that school.

Your only other options if your neighborhood school isn't working would be to homeschool (which may address academic but wouldn't help with facing the social challenges your child currently has), private school which you said isn't an option, or spend considerable time fighting an uphill battle at current school which at the end of the day may change nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:" and the ped called it "significant receptive-expressive language disorder, with ADHD-NOS".


Give me a break!

OP, your kid has Asperger's. He fits the profile - quirky yet highly intelligent but with poor social skills.

Once he's labeled, get an IEP. He'll then receive the services he needs through the public system.

[Anonymous]

OP here -
The dev. ped. did say DS presented some symptoms of Asperger's, but not enough to formally diagnose him with it.

What a complicated situation. I will see what his teacher says when he enters first grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here -
The dev. ped. did say DS presented some symptoms of Asperger's, but not enough to formally diagnose him with it.

What a complicated situation. I will see what his teacher says when he enters first grade.

I am amazed at his reading ability and can only hope that despite his social challenges they can differentiate based on his current level. He may qualify for - what was known in the past as - LDGT (learning disabled/gifted and talented).

Have you had him tested? If not, I'd do so immediately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:" and the ped called it "significant receptive-expressive language disorder, with ADHD-NOS".


Give me a break!

OP, your kid has Asperger's. He fits the profile - quirky yet highly intelligent but with poor social skills.

Once he's labeled, get an IEP. He'll then receive the services he needs through the public system.

Hmmmm, whose diagnosis to give more weight to -- a developmental pediatrician with years of training and experience who has the advantage of actually having MET the child? Or a random internet poster . . . such a difficult decision.

[Anonymous]

Join the forum
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MCneeds/

Start saving your pennies and seriously evaluating your financial priorities to make private school a viable option as soon as you possibly can. Then look for a private school that can successfully keep you child academically challenged while also teaching him critical social skills that his peers will get through trial and error but that for him will have to slowly and patiently learned behaviors.

[Anonymous]

I would think it's easier to get him academic enrichment rather deal with social issues. I would leave him where he is and see how he does emotionally this year. Plan on some outside ways to enrich his learning experience while letting him develop socially with other kids. This will be a critical year as you work to understand your son a little more in how he responds in a school setting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:" and the ped called it "significant receptive-expressive language disorder, with ADHD-NOS".


Give me a break!

OP, your kid has Asperger's. He fits the profile - quirky yet highly intelligent but with poor social skills.

Once he's labeled, get an IEP. He'll then receive the services he needs through the public system.

Hmmmm, whose diagnosis to give more weight to -- a developmental pediatrician with years of training and experience who has the advantage of actually having MET the child? Or a random internet poster . . . such a difficult decision.

NOS is a catch-all phrase for kids on the spectrum. bottom line

It's similar to being given the diagnosis of dementia. The brain isn't functioning well, but there is no way to diagnose the root of the problem.

OP's child has reception language disorder, which means he has a hard time interpreting what is said to him. Sometimes, with this condition, there are issues with expressive language disorders, too. Furthermore, and most importantly, he's being bullied b/c of his inability to communicate with peers. Add to that an amazing ability to rip through some advanced books, and you've got a kid on the spectrum.

I speak from experience. So don't come down on me, honeybun. If OP's child is not getting what he needs, he will likely fail miserably in school. He needs enrichment and acceleration in the areas of strength as well as continued speech services WITH strategies in dealing with socialization. Speech and socialization go hand in hand.

So, PP, in YOUR case, you'd take the DP's diagnosis and just let it go at that instead of finding all the resources needed to help your child. great parent you are

OP, fight for your child. http://www.echelonacademy.com/ - one such example of a school with resources to help your child
http://www.echelonacademy.com/about/

Maddox/Ivymount - another good match

[Anonymous]

http://www.echelonacademy.com/about/

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:" and the ped called it "significant receptive-expressive language disorder, with ADHD-NOS".


Give me a break!

OP, your kid has Asperger's. He fits the profile - quirky yet highly intelligent but with poor social skills.

Once he's labeled, get an IEP. He'll then receive the services he needs through the public system.

Hmmmm, whose diagnosis to give more weight to -- a developmental pediatrician with years of training and experience who has the advantage of actually having MET the child? Or a random internet poster . . . such a difficult decision.

NOS is a catch-all phrase for kids on the spectrum. bottom line

It's similar to being given the diagnosis of dementia. The brain isn't functioning well, but there is no way to diagnose the root of the problem.

OP's child has receptive language disorder, which means he has a hard time interpreting what is said to him. Sometimes, with this condition, there are issues with expressive language disorders, too. Furthermore, and most importantly, he's being bullied b/c of his inability to communicate with peers. Add to that an amazing ability to rip through some advanced books, and you've got a kid on the spectrum.

I speak from experience. So don't come down on me, honeybun. If OP's child is not getting what he needs, he will likely fail miserably in school. He needs enrichment and acceleration in the areas of strength as well as continued speech services WITH strategies in dealing with socialization. Speech and socialization go hand in hand.

So, PP, in YOUR case, you'd take the DP's diagnosis and just let it go at that instead of finding all the resources needed to help your child. great parent you are

OP, fight for your child. http://www.echelonacademy.com/ - one such example of a school with resources to help your child
http://www.echelonacademy.com/about/

Maddox/Ivymount - another good match

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:" and the ped called it "significant receptive-expressive language disorder, with ADHD-NOS".


Give me a break!

OP, your kid has Asperger's. He fits the profile - quirky yet highly intelligent but with poor social skills.

Once he's labeled, get an IEP. He'll then receive the services he needs through the public system.

Hmmmm, whose diagnosis to give more weight to -- a developmental pediatrician with years of training and experience who has the advantage of actually having MET the child? Or a random internet poster . . . such a difficult decision.

NOS is a catch-all phrase for kids on the spectrum. bottom line

It's similar to being given the diagnosis of dementia. The brain isn't functioning well, but there is no way to diagnose the root of the problem.

OP's child has reception language disorder, which means he has a hard time interpreting what is said to him. Sometimes, with this condition, there are issues with expressive language disorders, too. Furthermore, and most importantly, he's being bullied b/c of his inability to communicate with peers. Add to that an amazing ability to rip through some advanced books, and you've got a kid on the spectrum.

I speak from experience. So don't come down on me, honeybun. If OP's child is not getting what he needs, he will likely fail miserably in school. He needs enrichment and acceleration in the areas of strength as well as continued speech services WITH strategies in dealing with socialization. Speech and socialization go hand in hand.

So, PP, in YOUR case, you'd take the DP's diagnosis and just let it go at that instead of finding all the resources needed to help your child. great parent you are

OP, fight for your child. http://www.echelonacademy.com/ - one such example of a school with resources to help your child
http://www.echelonacademy.com/about/

Maddox/Ivymount - another good match

NOS is a medical qualifier when someone has enough symptoms to fit into a umbrella category, but where the symptoms are not specific enough to fit criteria for a specific disorder. So, one can have PDD-NOS, or a psychotic disorder -- NOS, or a mood disorder -- NOS, or an immune dysfunction -- NOS. NOS is not specific to the autism spectrum, it can be used to qualify a number of different medical diagnoses. In this situation an ADHD-NOS diagnosis means that it's clear the child fits criteria for ADHD, but that there's not enough information, perhaps because he's young, to determine whether he's got the impulsive, or inattentive, or combined subtype.

[Anonymous]

Your child's profile and possibly label will evolve over time. I owuld not push him ahead. A year of development is huge wrt social skills. Your son is so advanced that moving up one grade will not change the fact that he is way ahead of classmates and possibly bored. He is dealing with a lot right now. I would push the school hard to handle any bullying, put him in a social skills group, and work on social skills at home. One of the most imprtant things to work on is perspective taking so put that into your home vocabulary. I have found Michelle Garcia Winner's Social Thinking books/approach to be helpful for my son with AS. YOu can find them at socialthinking.com. It can begin to approach the naivete that you are seeing too as it addresses reading other's feelings, thoughts, intentions, etc. He is only in first grade. Helping him with social skills is a years and years long project. Sounds like he is truly gifted so seek ways that his gifts are nurtured and supported, seek teachers who are understanding and nurturing, and who are interested in having a unique learner in their classroom. Sounds like a wonderful kid.