Resources for newly single parents?

[Anonymous]

DH has been having an affair and has moved in with his gfriend as of this weekend. I am reeling. I have been a SAHM to 2 young kids. Any good resources - books, listserves, websites re: adjusting to live as a single mom? DH was not very engaged with the kids ever and has said that in addition to child support he may "play with them sometimes". I don't know any single moms and need to figure out how to manage all of this. Anyone got some tips? There are so many things up in the air, job hunting, really sad and angry kids, friends who are pulling back - feel like I need to get my bearings from those that have btdt. I have a lawyer, just need life advice. TIA.

[Anonymous]

Where are you located? I used the ivillage surviving divorce and separation boards a lot but then I found an online friend who was going thru the same thing. She is my lifeline with going through the situation. My situation was similar as your except I work outside the home. I found just reading messageboards with stories of people going through similar stuff made me feel a little better ( someone always has it worse than you!). Ivillage also has a Betrayed Spouse board too. Most people on their try to rebuild their marriages (the rest of us make our way to the surviving divorce board). But those on the betrayed spouse board do understand where you are coming from and provide good support. Just reading those posts make you see there are certain common behaviors these cheaters have. And you will truly see you are not the problem, he is.

Overall, you will survive and thrive. He will get involved with your kids once he gets out of this affair fog (thinks this fantasy will last and he will live happily ever after with the skank). When the kid's get older, they find it easier to manage and become the Disney dad. Can u tell I'm living that now!!!

Take care of yourself as your kids will need you. Plus it will annoy him seeing you better off

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP. Agree with PP - you will survive and thrive. I actually feel sorrier for your husband, life is going to teach him some hard lessons in the next few years. He's either going to become humbled and learn them and become a better person or he's going to harden himself, keep escaping into things, and be miserable.

You have a tough few months ahead but keep your eye on the prize - you will come out ahead. Some people will pull away because you are going through something very raw and painful and it's tough for people to deal with, because they have to face their own fears about stuff like this (it's tough to be reminded how fragile life is and how not in control we all are despite what we think). Don't close yourself off from people, there will be friends and family who surprise you and who support you and help you.

[Anonymous]

http://www.newbeginningsusa.org/nbtest/

I found this group very useful.

http://www.meetup.com/SPARKsingleparents/

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone.