Speech evaluation question

[Anonymous]

My son is three. Do you regularly leave your child alone with a therapist, whom you have just met, for a whole hour? I understand the potential benefit in terms of the evaluation. But, it feels uncomfortable to leave him with someone I don't know. Yes, the therapist is at a center, and the doors have small windows on them.

When my son was evaluated by the county at 18 months I was present. When he was evaluated last April by a developmental pediatrician my husband and I were both present.

[Anonymous]

It might depend on the age. My DS was 19 months when he was evaluated by a private SLP. She split the evaluation into 2 1-hr sessions. I was present throughout but sat in a corner filling out paperwork and did not really interact with DS (though the SLP would tell me things here and there). When we started with weekly therapy, I stayed in the room for maybe the first 3 sessions (1 session per week) and then DS went back by himself (his weekly SLP was different than the SLP who did his assessment so we were starting from scratch). He can be very clingy and doesn't like strangers, but warmed to his SLP very, very quickly and had no issues whatsoever. DS LOVES his SLP; I'm pretty sure he would go home with her.

[Anonymous]

Op here, the both times he was evaluated and I was in the room I had no interaction, as well, unless the therapist asked me something. The place evaluating wants him alone. While I haven't pushed the issue, and they haven't "insisted" I not be there, this is very much their preference.

[Anonymous]

Maybe suggest that you start off in the room and, based on how your DS is doing, you would be open to stepping out? Now that I think about it more, I stepped out during a decent part of the second 1-hr session. The SLP suggested I bring a little snack with me so we pulled out the snack (goldfish), I said a quick "mommy will be right back, you keep playing with Suzie," and he did fine with her for the remainder of the time. I guess I would just stress with them that you want a good, valid assessment and that you think there is a greater chance of that if you start out in the room but that you're open to stepping out when your DS seems comfortable, if, in fact, you are.

[Anonymous]

See if he will separate. The evaluation will go better if you aren't there, and you will probably be more comfortable is you aren't monitoring how he is responding.

It sounds like the issue isn't your son, but your own comfort level. Your son will be perfectly safe. If this is really a question of you having trouble leaving your DS with a therapist for an hour, you should work on that because you will have to learn to be comfortable leaving him with therapists, not to mention school. He may sense your anxiety, or unwillingness to separate, and that might cause him to have anxiety. I apologize if I am reading your post incorrectly.

[Anonymous]

Op here, thanks for the suggestions. I don't have separation issues with my son, but I can see how my post might read that way. He is actually a very independent kid and I always encourage that. I was a little wary because I was never asked to leave the room before, so wanted to make sure this was the norm. We go back again this week, so want to check in about it. Under almost any other circumstance we wouldn't leave our 3 young kids alone in a room with a stranger for an hour. Sounds like this is how it works at this age, though.

[Anonymous]

OP, I have had a lot of evaluations (speech, psych neuropsych, OT,) with two kids who have special needs and this does tend to be the way--or at least one of the ways. If the evaluation is longer, I think most people would want to observe the child with you first, create more of a comfort level, and then perhaps separate. However, if the evaluation is relatively short, the evaluator probably wants to maximize the time and skip the warm-up. Most children behave differently around their parents, rely on them to understand them and even communicate needs. It makes sense to observe kids in a different setting. That said, absolutely every therapist understands that a separation with a stranger is challenging--can be very challenging--and they will understand your hesitation and the child's. You say that your therapists isn't even pushing it. I think that they tend to believe that they will get the most from--or at least the most accurate impression of--your child if you aren't there.

As for your feelings, most parents feel uncomfortable the first time someone takes their child into another room without them. I know I did in every therapy situation I have experienced. It is hard to place trust in a stranger. After a time or two, though, when I have grown comfortable with the therapists and the situation, I have looked forward to the restful times and opportunities to talk to other parents. It can be the highlight of my week!

[Anonymous]

Thanks so much for taking the time to reassure me.