Bowdoin, Tufts, Oberlin, Carlton, Middlebury, Haverford, Wash U - for an anxious junior?

[Anonymous]

I drove past the campus, had an appointment scheduled, and canceled it. We each have our own comfort zones.

[Anonymous]

I don't want to add more pressure on you or your DD, but I am not sure you have sufficient time to visit all these schools and complete applications. What schools have you visited so far? How far away from DC are you/she comfortable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Suggest Haverford. The small, self-contained community is very supportive, probably due to its Quaker roots. Many of the faculty live around the campus. There is an honor code. We really liked the vibe.

I will also say that if your child has such a history, you might want to be within driving range.

Haverford is uniformity-oriented. The college is small and there is not a great deal to do on campus. The Homor Code stifles rather than facilitates respectul differences, and academically Haverford can’t be compared to several of the other listed colleges and universities; Tufts and WUSTL in particular have much wider curricula and much more diverse and active student bodies. Haverford seems pleasant for a few hours of initial exposure, but don’t read too much into the place. It’s basically a degree-granting prep school after high school. I went there and transferred.

Would you say the same about Bryn Mawr? Bryn Mawr does not have a prep school vibe but it is small and has the same Quaker ethos/honor code and I wonder if there is a similar tendency towards uniformity.

OP it is tough to find a school that is intellectually stimulating/challenging enough without being a pressure cooker.
The right size can also be hard to identify. I have seen people making good points about sending kids to big school and make equally good but different points about sending kids to small schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Suggest Haverford. The small, self-contained community is very supportive, probably due to its Quaker roots. Many of the faculty live around the campus. There is an honor code. We really liked the vibe.

I will also say that if your child has such a history, you might want to be within driving range.

Haverford is uniformity-oriented. The college is small and there is not a great deal to do on campus. The Homor Code stifles rather than facilitates respectul differences, and academically Haverford can’t be compared to several of the other listed colleges and universities; Tufts and WUSTL in particular have much wider curricula and much more diverse and active student bodies. Haverford seems pleasant for a few hours of initial exposure, but don’t read too much into the place. It’s basically a degree-granting prep school after high school. I went there and transferred.

Would you say the same about Bryn Mawr? Bryn Mawr does not have a prep school vibe but it is small and has the same Quaker ethos/honor code and I wonder if there is a similar tendency towards uniformity.

OP it is tough to find a school that is intellectually stimulating/challenging enough without being a pressure cooker.
The right size can also be hard to identify. I have seen people making good points about sending kids to big school and make equally good but different points about sending kids to small schools.

I would be careful to give one poster’s experiences too much weight. A friend’s kid transferred out because he didn’t think the social scene was cohesive enough. It is really small but it doesn’t seem “uniform” to me—I have friends who teach and live in campus and am there frequently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would HIGHLY recommend Rice. It's a university that is divided into small residential colleges. Students have the resources of a big university but the social and academic support of a SLAC. It is also always ranked highly in terms of happy undergrads. My DD is a junior there and adores it. And they just announced a big push to make it more affordable!

Yes! I was just about to recommend Rice. It is very strong academically but a truly friendly, cohesive, warm environment.thats what it’s mainly known for, actually.

[Anonymous]

How about trying something like Villanova? Not too far - top 50 school. All the alumns I know who went there can not say enough great things about their experience.

[Anonymous]

I love the suggestion of Villanova, and what about St. Mary’s College of MD, William & Mary, and Mary Washington? I’m also a fairly anxious person who thrived at a CTCL and now am a tenured prof at a flagship university. Having spent a lot of time in both environments, I’m a huge proponent of SLACs, especially for an anxious kid who will benefit from personal attention from profs, a strong support network, more flexibility and forgiveness with assignments, and fewer high-stakes exams.

If I were parenting an anxious high schooler (my kids are younger), I’d encourage her to target SLACs within driving distance where she is likely to be in the top quartile of students, which makes it likely that she’ll get merit aid and just takes a lot of the pressure off because she can keep up with the other students without trying too hard. And a SLAC will offer her plenty of options for independent work if she wants to challenge herself further.

And to the poster upthread who said they’re looking at “national universities” for their biology interested kid: I assume you meant R-1s? Those are the worst places for an undergrad who wants to get involved in research. That’s what we have grad students for. I’ve been at my institution for 11 years, and I’ve involved undergrads in my research once, for one semester, and it was because I had some tasks that were too simple for grad students (and no money, so needed undergrads who would work for course credit). And I’m not a mean person. I like undergrads. But our whole incentive structure is set up to favor doing research with grad students and just ushering our undergrads through large lectures. So, by all means, send your kid to the state flagship for all the good reasons—athletics, alumni network, internships, etc—but not because you think your undergrad is going to get a bunch of lab time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure about your list at all. It seems schools that are very academically intense and socially intense (the play hard, work hard, drink a lot type).

Haverford maybe, and check out Bryn Mawr for sure. Also, I would not write off Swarthmore. It's serious but the kids I know who went there were the right fit and LOVED it. Possibly also look at Gettysburg, franklin & Marshall, or similar.

Not Swarthmore. Neeeever Swarthmore.
-Swattie

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure about your list at all. It seems schools that are very academically intense and socially intense (the play hard, work hard, drink a lot type).

Haverford maybe, and check out Bryn Mawr for sure. Also, I would not write off Swarthmore. It's serious but the kids I know who went there were the right fit and LOVED it. Possibly also look at Gettysburg, franklin & Marshall, or similar.

Not Swarthmore. Neeeever Swarthmore.
-Swattie

+1 Swarthmore is toxic, but in terms of work/life balance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take Bowdoin, Haverford, Wash U, and Tufts off your list. Too intense. I would never send an anxious kid to any of these schools.

Oberlin is chill, but is granola as heck.

Middlebury and Carleton are probably good options.

What does the OP's daughter want to major in, and what GPA could she live with?

Maybe Wash. U. is intense for a premed who has to have a 3.7 GPA, but I think it could be a pretty low-key place for a liberal arts or non-premed science major who could live with a 3.2 GPA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love the suggestion of Villanova, and what about St. Mary’s College of MD, William & Mary, and Mary Washington? I’m also a fairly anxious person who thrived at a CTCL and now am a tenured prof at a flagship university. Having spent a lot of time in both environments, I’m a huge proponent of SLACs, especially for an anxious kid who will benefit from personal attention from profs, a strong support network, more flexibility and forgiveness with assignments, and fewer high-stakes exams.

If I were parenting an anxious high schooler (my kids are younger), I’d encourage her to target SLACs within driving distance where she is likely to be in the top quartile of students, which makes it likely that she’ll get merit aid and just takes a lot of the pressure off because she can keep up with the other students without trying too hard. And a SLAC will offer her plenty of options for independent work if she wants to challenge herself further.

And to the poster upthread who said they’re looking at “national universities” for their biology interested kid: I assume you meant R-1s? Those are the worst places for an undergrad who wants to get involved in research. That’s what we have grad students for. I’ve been at my institution for 11 years, and I’ve involved undergrads in my research once, for one semester, and it was because I had some tasks that were too simple for grad students (and no money, so needed undergrads who would work for course credit). And I’m not a mean person. I like undergrads. But our whole incentive structure is set up to favor doing research with grad students and just ushering our undergrads through large lectures. So, by all means, send your kid to the state flagship for all the good reasons—athletics, alumni network, internships, etc—but not because you think your undergrad is going to get a bunch of lab time.

William and Mary is a bit of a pressure cooker, isn’t it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I drove past the campus, had an appointment scheduled, and canceled it. We each have our own comfort zones.

LOL

[Anonymous]

For an anxious kid, I would recommend looking at schools where the first semester or year is pass/fail and a school that is well known for grade inflation.

[Anonymous]

Boston University has a program that is geared towards students with anxiety. There was an article in Boston Globr about it. They have a child anxiety research center.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

If she is super anxious, why not just visit something close to break the ice. How about American? It's main campus is small, and feels like a campus. Definitely not an intense feel.