Did your average academic kid go to college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in such a competitive "hothouse" environment when it came to going to top colleges that as an eventual parent I got truly shocked to find out how many people either just don't care about it or their kids just go pretty much "anywhere" ... places like lesser state campuses that out-of-state people have never even heard of and no one even takes time to rank.

Wealthiest classmate I had who just donated a $15m building to my prep school sent both her kids to places exactly like that. They were either sub intellects or maybe they're just too rich to care.

The whole game seems different today

The wealthy person game you are describing is the same was it ever was.
They go wherever and do whatever because they have a huge safety net (wealth, trust fund allowance, can go work for Daddy, etc.).
And no, wealthy avg intelligence families don’t hot-house their kids.

Hot-housing is for striver families, intrinsically motivated kids, or extreme right tail talent who is going for it.

I sort of think you're right but I was also raised with a lot of those kids who automatically got into Ivy League schools and barely had to try

I can think of one prep school classmate whom I roomed with on a few international school vacation trips who was basically forced into going to my dream 1st choice college by her father. Old 1600s New York Gilded Age quality Dutch surname. Somewhere during freshman year, though, she turned 18 and came into a trust fund outside of his control. She applied on her own to a 7 sisters school and transferred. And she hated her dad so much she actually legally changed her last name.

I just got recently surprised that a fellow classmate's kid who probably could have been admitted anywhere to a university with his name on the buildings is at a SUNY I'd never heard of. And I grew up in New York state.

Once upon a time Ivies weren’t academically exclusive, they were the just the only colleges around and only rich people went to college. It took a few generations to fully transition to the current hothouse model. You (and I) went to school in the crossover period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I guess I want to know how kids who are kind of slow fare in life, their careers.

If any of you were not very good at academics, nor very charming and street smart, are you successful in life with a good income?

What kind of job do you do?

Hi OP, I guess I was a bit like that in HS. I came out of my shell in community college and was even an orientation leader. Earned my Masters and I am a teacher .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in such a competitive "hothouse" environment when it came to going to top colleges that as an eventual parent I got truly shocked to find out how many people either just don't care about it or their kids just go pretty much "anywhere" ... places like lesser state campuses that out-of-state people have never even heard of and no one even takes time to rank.

Wealthiest classmate I had who just donated a $15m building to my prep school sent both her kids to places exactly like that. They were either sub intellects or maybe they're just too rich to care.

The whole game seems different today

“Sub intellects” Are you this insufferable in real life dear?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My kid is like a tag along, slow at grasping things, has 2 friends who ditch DC when they find someone else to hang out with. DC is not very outspoken or bright and charming which is what has me worried more than the being average at studies.

Maybe you should start trying to hone in on their strengths and interests, rather than seeing them in such a negative light. Even if they’ve drifted a bit as a teen, you must have some idea what their intrinsic characteristics are.

Are they artistic, crafty, good with their hands? Are they compassionate, soft-hearted, or nurturing? What do they gravitate toward? Do they like animals? Nature? Technology? Are they quietly observant? There must be something they can eventually build on, with your encouragement.

Most people aren’t going to set the world on fire, but they usually find some way to get by. Unless they’re heavily resistant or extremely apathetic, college of any type is usually a pretty good way for them to start finding their footing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in such a competitive "hothouse" environment when it came to going to top colleges that as an eventual parent I got truly shocked to find out how many people either just don't care about it or their kids just go pretty much "anywhere" ... places like lesser state campuses that out-of-state people have never even heard of and no one even takes time to rank.

Wealthiest classmate I had who just donated a $15m building to my prep school sent both her kids to places exactly like that. They were either sub intellects or maybe they're just too rich to care.

The whole game seems different today

Sub intellects? Or maybe they cared and understood that you can get a great education at a university some people sneer at. They are filled with bright, interesting, engaging people, and the professors and instructors come from a lot of great schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm worried about my DC who is just an average student who is cruising along, takes a long time to do anything, and is not street smart either. If your kid was like mine, did they go to college? If yes, what did they major in and how are they doing in life, on the job? Do they earn well?

You might consider a school with a strong emphasis on career-development and placement. Furman University with its Pathways program is a good example. Many kids who don't show a lot of interest in school perk up and gain a sense of purpose inside a system that consistently reinforces a practical outcome for their endeavors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I guess I want to know how kids who are kind of slow fare in life, their careers.

If any of you were not very good at academics, nor very charming and street smart, are you successful in life with a good income?

What kind of job do you do?

My brother was like this. He has ADHD and just didn’t like school. He maxed out at one year of community college. He is a smart and really great person who matured on the later side and is now a VP at a major bank. And makes more then his double Ivy grad sibling!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I guess I want to know how kids who are kind of slow fare in life, their careers.

If any of you were not very good at academics, nor very charming and street smart, are you successful in life with a good income?

What kind of job do you do?

Hi OP, I guess I was a bit like that in HS. I came out of my shell in community college and was even an orientation leader. Earned my Masters and I am a teacher .

OP here. I am hoping my DC also gains confidence and can come out of their shell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My kid is like a tag along, slow at grasping things, has 2 friends who ditch DC when they find someone else to hang out with. DC is not very outspoken or bright and charming which is what has me worried more than the being average at studies.

Maybe you should start trying to hone in on their strengths and interests, rather than seeing them in such a negative light. Even if they’ve drifted a bit as a teen, you must have some idea what their intrinsic characteristics are.

Are they artistic, crafty, good with their hands? Are they compassionate, soft-hearted, or nurturing? What do they gravitate toward? Do they like animals? Nature? Technology? Are they quietly observant? There must be something they can eventually build on, with your encouragement.

Most people aren’t going to set the world on fire, but they usually find some way to get by. Unless they’re heavily resistant or extremely apathetic, college of any type is usually a pretty good way for them to start finding their footing.

OP. Yes, DC is very kind, soft hearted, nurturing, is quite good at drawing - DC is nor very observant though and always forgetting something. I have tried encouraging DC with the art but DC does not want to focus on that. Its just that there is no focus. But DC is happy to cruise along.

I hope DC can find their footing in college - I would be interested in knowing what kind of careers a slow learner and quiet not outspoken person can be good at. Something that will help them live off comfortably and not paycheck to paycheck.

I'm worried because both my husband and me are not in the best of health and I want to make sure DC is equipped to take care of themself. DC is very insecure and gives up very easily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My kid is like a tag along, slow at grasping things, has 2 friends who ditch DC when they find someone else to hang out with. DC is not very outspoken or bright and charming which is what has me worried more than the being average at studies.

Maybe you should start trying to hone in on their strengths and interests, rather than seeing them in such a negative light. Even if they’ve drifted a bit as a teen, you must have some idea what their intrinsic characteristics are.

Are they artistic, crafty, good with their hands? Are they compassionate, soft-hearted, or nurturing? What do they gravitate toward? Do they like animals? Nature? Technology? Are they quietly observant? There must be something they can eventually build on, with your encouragement.

Most people aren’t going to set the world on fire, but they usually find some way to get by. Unless they’re heavily resistant or extremely apathetic, college of any type is usually a pretty good way for them to start finding their footing.

+1. Play to DCs strengths, whatever they are, and encourage those.

[Anonymous]

Would St Joe’s be good for OP’s student?