SSRIs in OLD: should it be mandatory to disclose?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:may be not in OLD but people should declare during the first month of dating.

My 42yr old ex-gf has issues with sex drive, vaginal dryness, reaching orgasm and a few other things that she didn't disclose and hid it for a while, never took treatment and became one of the factors of me breaking up with her.

Having issues is ok but honestly disclosing them shows accountability and respect for the relationship.

How do you hide not having sex? Or she had sex despite not wanting to and did a bait and switch later?

[Anonymous]

The irony of the OP…your anxiety is showing. 😉

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:may be not in OLD but people should declare during the first month of dating.

My 42yr old ex-gf has issues with sex drive, vaginal dryness, reaching orgasm and a few other things that she didn't disclose and hid it for a while, never took treatment and became one of the factors of me breaking up with her.

Having issues is ok but honestly disclosing them shows accountability and respect for the relationship.

How do you hide not having sex? Or she had sex despite not wanting to and did a bait and switch later?

I don’t know exactly what happened but she always had a problem reaching O. Played with a toy for an hour and nothing. Have some medical issues, gained significant weight to around 200 lbs at 5’2” and were having other hormonal issues. She knew about them at the starting and didn’t disclose but situation went worse with time. Hard to exactly pin point one issue as there were a lot together.

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:may be not in OLD but people should declare during the first month of dating.

My 42yr old ex-gf has issues with sex drive, vaginal dryness, reaching orgasm and a few other things that she didn't disclose and hid it for a while, never took treatment and became one of the factors of me breaking up with her.

Having issues is ok but honestly disclosing them shows accountability and respect for the relationship.

How do you hide not having sex? Or she had sex despite not wanting to and did a bait and switch later?

I don’t know exactly what happened but she always had a problem reaching O. Played with a toy for an hour and nothing. Have some medical issues, gained significant weight to around 200 lbs at 5’2” and were having other hormonal issues. She knew about them at the starting and didn’t disclose but situation went worse with time. Hard to exactly pin point one issue as there were a lot together.

It's good you dumped her. At that weight and height, it is unlikely she has any energy left to do anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I disclose pretty quickly that I'm on SSRI because I want nothing to do with anyone so stupid, arrogant, and mentally disturbed as to stigmatize use of SSRIs. Literally every single person I know who freaks out about SSRI use is in the throes of untreated mental illness and too terrified to face it. They're the exact sort of people no one with a stable, happy life should be burdened with.

I agree with you, but I also don't think whatever medication I'm taking is anyone's business but mine. It's fine to disclose if you want to, but I don't think you are under any obligation to do so. People on here are more worried about the side effects than the medication, so if anything, you could share if you are experiencing side effects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have had far too many bad experiences where I’ve met someone, only to later discover they are on SSRIs ( and all the negatives which that entails). No thanks !

Should it be mandatory on OLD to disclose this up front?

It’s be helpful, but they won’t.

Do your diligence!!

[Anonymous]

Always bet for mental disorders. Via convos, family stories, medicine cabinets, conflict resolution skills, how they handle your emotions/ their emotions/ anger, communication skills.

[Anonymous]

*Vet for

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Always bet for mental disorders. Via convos, family stories, medicine cabinets, conflict resolution skills, how they handle your emotions/ their emotions/ anger, communication skills.

For some reason, mental disorders get lost in the limerance stage. I almost think a better strategy is to ask your closest friends or family members if they see any red flags.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t think this would be a good idea.

I wouldn’t disclose that I am on prescription medication 💊 until after a few dates because it might scare some people off initially as there is still a lot of judgement in the area of mental illness.

Yes SSRIs do have side effects as ALL medication does - - but overall I believe the benefits outweigh any side effects though this would depend on what the side effects are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have had far too many bad experiences where I’ve met someone, only to later discover they are on SSRIs ( and all the negatives which that entails). No thanks !

Should it be mandatory on OLD to disclose this up front?

Millions upon millions are on psychotropic meds. People you wouldn’t suspect and who you deal with daily. No one should be required to disclose this to you. It’s not a moral failing or character flaw to have depression and to take medication for it.

[Anonymous]

Just write the first sentences of this post into your profile. Then all the necessary disclosures are made.

[Anonymous]

I mean, if we all had to disclose *everything* about ourselves that could potentially lead to someone being unhappy in OLD, that’s literally all our profile would be. Just a long list of every flaw we have. Yours, too, OP.

The problem is that people go into OLD expecting immediate gratification. They want to find the perfect person NOW. And they move far too quickly and get attached way too fast, which leads to future casting before you’ve even learned who the person really is.

When dating is supposed to be meeting a wide variety of people, taking it slow, and ending things when it turns out you’re not a match.

If you’re worried about SSRIs impacting sex drive, no problem. You should be having conversations about sex with the people you are having sex with or plan to have sex with. If you can come up with a solution together, great. If not, you realize you’re not a good match and move on.

FWIW I’ve dated 2 men with ED. One refused to do anything about it and told me I should just be grateful that he’ll never cheat on me bc he can’t. I ended things. The other worked with me to find solutions so I could be sexually satisfied and was so good at oral I really didn’t care. We stayed together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, if we all had to disclose *everything* about ourselves that could potentially lead to someone being unhappy in OLD, that’s literally all our profile would be. Just a long list of every flaw we have. Yours, too, OP.

The problem is that people go into OLD expecting immediate gratification. They want to find the perfect person NOW. And they move far too quickly and get attached way too fast, which leads to future casting before you’ve even learned who the person really is.

When dating is supposed to be meeting a wide variety of people, taking it slow, and ending things when it turns out you’re not a match.

If you’re worried about SSRIs impacting sex drive, no problem. You should be having conversations about sex with the people you are having sex with or plan to have sex with. If you can come up with a solution together, great. If not, you realize you’re not a good match and move on.

FWIW I’ve dated 2 men with ED. One refused to do anything about it and told me I should just be grateful that he’ll never cheat on me bc he can’t. I ended things. The other worked with me to find solutions so I could be sexually satisfied and was so good at oral I really didn’t care. We stayed together.

how old were these men and were they heavy built or overweight? I am seeing someone younger who is in his 30s and have this.