Why are some people so negative and always worried about money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My retired dad is wealthy compared to most retirees his age. Yet this man is always negative. He always send me articles every time there is some bad economic news. He goes into a gloom and doom rant. He always cries poverty despite taking home $10,000/month as a retired 70 years old. He has a pension. He has amazing health insurance. He has no debt . His home has been paid off for 20 years. He has paid rentals. he has investments. And yet he keeps crying poverty. This month one of his tenant is leaving. OMG now he doesn't know if he will survive financially. I love my dad but this seems like a mental illness. I feel bad for my mom..she is the total opposite.

It's exhausting. Do you know people like that? Why are they so preoccupied with money despite having enough cushion??

His parents and grandparents probably told him stories about the Great Depression that were scary.

As someone almost that age, I can tell you that it’s more than just stories. We lived with the habits of people who grew up in that period. Like I can never have enough toilet paper.

Add to it that, many of us were expected to be out of the house by age 18 and self supporting. Parents didn’t help with first and last months rent, buying a car or continuing education. So there were many years of personal struggles. Ramen noodles, spaghetti, meatless dinners, popcorn as a meal were real things. And to make that happen we had to be scrappy - getting jobs by age 10 or 12 and never taking a break from working. Summer swim team wasn’t on anyone’s radar because jobs came first.

And you never saw anyone you know travel. Vacation was tent camping or a day trip to the shore or a local lake with sandwiches packed from home.

It is very hard to change this mindset. It’s your way of life. Any volatility in the stock market brings real fear.

So I, like your dad, will probably die with a lot of money even though I’ve been working on learning to enjoy what we’ve saved over the years. I think for some of us that’s inevitable. But it doesn’t mean we’re not happy and not enjoying our lives.

the toilet paper hoarding toilet paper thing is now recurring due to experiences during COVID.

[Anonymous]

We live in America. All of us are just one bad illness or market turn away from getting wiped out.

Private equity loves to gut pension plans, I wouldn’t rely on anything other than the PBGC max if I had a pension.

And the elder care industry is expertly designed to take every last cent you have before letting you die miserable with bedsores.

If you’re not at least a little anxious, you’re not paying attention.

[Anonymous]

Who knows how long you will live and if you have enough money for assisted living, dentists and doctors and prices are going way. If you are retired you live on a fixed income, even if its $10,000, its a bit nerve wracking, even if you have a few millions. Its common sense to be anxious about costs, especially for those of us who are older.

I'm a Gen X my husband is a boomer. We view money differently, and if you grew up or were raised in poverty that never leaves you. In our case we also want to leave our DC with a good inheritance as he has special needs.

I grew in Arlington and in the 60's it was easy to have one income and buy a house. That is NOT the case now, changes in politics and the economy stress us out.

I worked in college and could pay rent, gas bill, insurance, car note and go to school, and go out on the weekend all with my minimum wage job. That's not what younger people can afford doing today, that causes me to be stressed out.

My friends have started needing implants and they cost $3000. My friends bridge and other dental work is $11,000. Experiences and health care costs compound and cause older people to stress out.

Give the guy a break

[Anonymous]

My wife and I both make over $200k, but pay for private school and travel sports, so cash flow isn’t ideal since a large portion of my income is sporadic chunks of commission. we are fine once we get these high schoolers off on their own. But I was raised in a financially stressed household so I generally refuse to buy anything at retail price, nickel and dime monthly bills like cell, cable and internet, do my own yard work, etc. I can’t help it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My retired dad is wealthy compared to most retirees his age. Yet this man is always negative. He always send me articles every time there is some bad economic news. He goes into a gloom and doom rant. He always cries poverty despite taking home $10,000/month as a retired 70 years old. He has a pension. He has amazing health insurance. He has no debt . His home has been paid off for 20 years. He has paid rentals. he has investments. And yet he keeps crying poverty. This month one of his tenant is leaving. OMG now he doesn't know if he will survive financially. I love my dad but this seems like a mental illness. I feel bad for my mom..she is the total opposite.

It's exhausting. Do you know people like that? Why are they so preoccupied with money despite having enough cushion??

His parents and grandparents probably told him stories about the Great Depression that were scary.

As someone almost that age, I can tell you that it’s more than just stories. We lived with the habits of people who grew up in that period. Like I can never have enough toilet paper.

Add to it that, many of us were expected to be out of the house by age 18 and self supporting. Parents didn’t help with first and last months rent, buying a car or continuing education. So there were many years of personal struggles. Ramen noodles, spaghetti, meatless dinners, popcorn as a meal were real things. And to make that happen we had to be scrappy - getting jobs by age 10 or 12 and never taking a break from working. Summer swim team wasn’t on anyone’s radar because jobs came first.

And you never saw anyone you know travel. Vacation was tent camping or a day trip to the shore or a local lake with sandwiches packed from home.

It is very hard to change this mindset. It’s your way of life. Any volatility in the stock market brings real fear.

So I, like your dad, will probably die with a lot of money even though I’ve been working on learning to enjoy what we’ve saved over the years. I think for some of us that’s inevitable. But it doesn’t mean we’re not happy and not enjoying our lives.

This! I grew up like this and now retired with what should be plenty, but I still worry, and I've basically have had some level of $ anxiety my whole life. I don't recommend it.

[Anonymous]

He got rich by being careful and scroogy for 70 years. Now the habit is hard to break.

[Anonymous]

It's a defense mechanism. I refuse to think of myself as rich. Such negative connotations.

[Anonymous]

My adoptive parents are like this. We are no longer in contact. They are in their 70/80s and live in a $2 million dollar home in Potomac. They never see their grandkids and continue to work. Talking to them is like a nonstop Fox channel - you can’t talk about the weather, grandkids, food without them complaining about climate scams, trans people or illegal immigrants. They use derogatory language about minorities, despite me being one. They are always worried about money despite making over $300k a year.

[Anonymous]

I'm of a different mindset. Early 50s....worth about $8M, mostly self made (no one is 100% self made btw). Grew up dirt poor literally, like free school lunch, and low income housing, etc. Presently, there is no anxiety, fear of losing everything and becoming poor again. BTDT. Chances are that we will find a way to get back on our feet...we know how to hunt and kill. Had we simply inherited our $$, I likely would have more anxiety and fear of losing it, not feeling confident on how to get it back. As I recall, being poor was not all that bad really and you really don't need much $$ to survive here. The govt helps with housing, food, med care. More $$ more problems as they say.

[Anonymous]

My dad is the same way, but he's a business owner in a cyclical industry and survived multiple recessions, so I understand why he's so conservative with money. My siblings and I are the same way, even though we aren't entrepreneurs. Old habits die hard, and they get passed down through generations. My siblings and I are the savers in our marriages.

[Anonymous]

My dad is the same way and it sucks for my mom. They are retired. She wants to travel. She wants new experiences. She wants to enjoy her last few years. My dad gloom gloom gloom gloom gloom gloom. It's disgusting. I put together a trip for them to Costa Rica and it collapsed at the last minute. He found it too expensive. They don't do anything. I wish my mother could divorce him and just enjoy her life.

Sorry OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad is the same way and it sucks for my mom. They are retired. She wants to travel. She wants new experiences. She wants to enjoy her last few years. My dad gloom gloom gloom gloom gloom gloom. It's disgusting. I put together a trip for them to Costa Rica and it collapsed at the last minute. He found it too expensive. They don't do anything. I wish my mother could divorce him and just enjoy her life.

Sorry OP

Your dad has a disorder - same pee my father. They love $$ more than people

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My multi millionaire cheap ass uncle drove a Yugo when I was a kid and also flooded out his house because he would turn the heat down really low in the winter lmao.

Weird guy and ridiculous, but I don't think this qualifies as mental illness.

I think it's mental illness, not just weirdness. When you do things that can be detrimental and damaging to yourself and your family for the sake of being frugal it beats the whole point of being frugal (which is to feel security and comfort). It's illogical. People who are frugal to the point where they create hardships (which money is supposed to solve) are mentally damaged or have some sort of personality disorder spectrum.

Being frugal is a strategy for slowly accumulating large amounts of money. It's just a behavior that's hard to change because spending money is the opposite of how you became wealthy. Now if you are constantly ranting about how the sky is falling, you probably have some type of anxiety or problem that needs to be addressed. Reducing screen time and cutting out junk cable news will probably be part of the treatment plan.

[Anonymous]

My grandfather grew up during the depression. He raised three girls in a two-bedroom house and was the cheapest man alive. When he died, his estate was worth over a million.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He got rich by being careful and scroogy for 70 years. Now the habit is hard to break.

And then the next generation or the generation after that overreacts and then it’s all gone and the cycle repeats.