My in-laws gave my teens a puppy. WTF?

[Anonymous]

It’s so wrong to give a living an animal
As a gift especially to a person who doesn’t want it.
Having said that, maybe try to care for it for a week? See if the kids step up? They’re both old enough. My 13yo walks our dog before school 3x a week when I work early.
If after a week it’s not working, reach out to a rescue group and see if they can help you get it adopted?
What breed of dog is it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing is... if your kids really want the dog, you are going to break their hearts. And they will remember that forever.

The in-laws are awful people, because you lose either way: you're going to have a dog in your house, or you're going to be the villain to your kids.

I'm really sorry, OP. I assume this is part of a pattern from the in-laws.

No, OP isn’t the bad guy. Her husband is. They’re his parents. She needs to have a come to Jesus with him and he can be the bad guy who sends the dog to live with his parents.

[Anonymous]

If you aren’t willing to send the dog home with the in laws, then let the teen kids know that the dog is 100% their responsibility. They pay for the food, they walk it, they feed it, they train it, they take it to the vet (you can drive them and accompany them if they’re under 18). They pay the vet bills. They may have to quit sports or after school clubs in order to come home and take care of the dog when it’s in the puppy stage and can’t be crated for 8 hours during the day. If they can’t do this after a week or two, the dog goes. They will at least have realized how much work it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing is... if your kids really want the dog, you are going to break their hearts. And they will remember that forever.

The in-laws are awful people, because you lose either way: you're going to have a dog in your house, or you're going to be the villain to your kids.

I'm really sorry, OP. I assume this is part of a pattern from the in-laws.

I love puppies but out of those two choices, keeping the puppy will be the most difficult. You'll be back to sleepless baby nights for potty breaks and then horrible teething while in baby shark stage (which feels like forever) and training consistency which is stressful for everyone, especially kids in school. This has to be rooted in commitment, not surprise. The puppy is the one in for heartbreak when op realizes going along with it is chipping away at her sanitu.

[Anonymous]

Oh and they’ll need to hire a dog walker on school days

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you aren’t willing to send the dog home with the in laws, then let the teen kids know that the dog is 100% their responsibility. They pay for the food, they walk it, they feed it, they train it, they take it to the vet (you can drive them and accompany them if they’re under 18). They pay the vet bills. They may have to quit sports or after school clubs in order to come home and take care of the dog when it’s in the puppy stage and can’t be crated for 8 hours during the day. If they can’t do this after a week or two, the dog goes. They will at least have realized how much work it is.

Don't do that to the dog

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing is... if your kids really want the dog, you are going to break their hearts. And they will remember that forever.

The in-laws are awful people, because you lose either way: you're going to have a dog in your house, or you're going to be the villain to your kids.

I'm really sorry, OP. I assume this is part of a pattern from the in-laws.

LOL no they're not.

One day my husband brought home a coworker's dog that the coworker didn't want anymore. It was a perfectly nice dog so we kept it for awhile and then his coworker demanded $300 for the dog's insurance (it was a pretty sickly dog, but not unpleasant), so we packed the dog and all his things up and gave him right back to the coworker. The kids were slightly disappointed and got over it quickly.

[Anonymous]

Your dh is a jerk

Dog goes with them and they are out of your house forever who the hell does this??

I love dogs but thus is not acceptable

[Anonymous]

DH is responsible for the dog you do nothing he hires help while he’s out of town

Not your problem

[Anonymous]

Your in-laws are ABSOLUTE F-ING A&&HOLES!!! I am SO MAD on your behalf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you aren’t willing to send the dog home with the in laws, then let the teen kids know that the dog is 100% their responsibility. They pay for the food, they walk it, they feed it, they train it, they take it to the vet (you can drive them and accompany them if they’re under 18). They pay the vet bills. They may have to quit sports or after school clubs in order to come home and take care of the dog when it’s in the puppy stage and can’t be crated for 8 hours during the day. If they can’t do this after a week or two, the dog goes. They will at least have realized how much work it is.

Don't do that to the dog

Don’t do what to the dog? Have teenagers take care of it? I added a follow up below this comment that the teens also needed to hire a dog walker. What’s the problem? If the kids don’t want to then the dog can go to a new family.

[Anonymous]

Are you gone for work all day or do you work from home?

If you don't WFH, then it isn't even fair or safe for the puppy, they can't be left alone all day.

Dogs are a huge commitment and they have personalities and physical and mental health issues like people. Some are really hard and expensive to have as pets.

Ignore it for the moment. Tonight, after they leave, have a conversation with your DH and decide what you are going to do. Then have a conversation with your kids. Then tell inlaws what the options are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 12 and 14-yr old have been begging for a dog for years but we really don't have the time or the inclination for a dog. DH travels for work often and both kids play sports with plenty of weekend travel. For years, my in-laws have been laying it on thick that "every child deserves a dog!" and how wonderful it is and going on about my DH's dogs growing up. Never mind the fact that my MIL is the one who cared for the pets.

I AM SO MAD. They came over an hour ago and said they had a surprise for 12-year-old's upcoming birthday.
Guess what it was.

A PUPPY.

I...do not...know what to say. They are still here about to have dinner and I ran upstairs to post on DCUM just for catharsis since I may lose it (or guzzle five cocktails). My DH is now super edgy b/c he knows I'm mad, my FIL is just hee-hawing in the corner and my kids are over the moon. I....am...speech-less...

Get a job and travel like your husband. Stop living off of his salary.

Come on.

Oh my.

[Anonymous]

Making the kids responsible for it doesn't work.

Kids can be diligent for a while, and that's long enough that nobody will feel right giving away the pet when the kids start slacking off.

I was the kid in that scenario.

Now I realize my dad was kind of a jerk to my mom and we never should have gotten kittens she didn't want.

She ended up caring for the cats after we went to college.

[Anonymous]

Why do your in-laws hate you???
I would be furious over this and cancel any holiday plans made with them. This contempt and disrespect for you and your home. F them