Hating donut hole life: athletic recruiting version

[Anonymous]

I don't know what D3 schools are "acceptable" but there are a number of highly-ranked D3 schools that give out substantial merit:

Case Western
Washington & Lee
Brandeis (maybe not ranked highly enough for you)
Trinity (both in CT and TX)
CT College

There are others. The merit is not directly tied to the sport, but it is offered during the recruiting phase, so you know what you will receive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you not know that the two SLACs weren’t a possibility due to money even before the application? I mean, most of the athletic recruits I know had a good solid handle on the costs of the schools that were recruiting them and the scholarship possibilities.

FYI my kid told multiple coaches that they likely wouldn't qualify for any FA, but the coaches come back and say they hear that all the time but then the athlete ends up qualifying. So then you go down the rabbit hole of looking into opportunities at that school and it comes back nil.

This is before the application but after 3+ years of grinding out the workouts.

[Anonymous]

Really hard to feel sorry for people when the athletic hook doesn’t work for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh I hate not being rich right now. DC has athletic recruiting offers to some top SLAC schools, but they don't do athletic or merit scholarships. I ran the NPCs and we get zero financial aid at all of them, but they're just too expensive for us to pay full price.

Now DC has to either 1) go to lower ranked schools offering athletic/merit scholarships or 2) forego athletic recruitment and just apply EA to state schools or shot gun in regular decision in hopes of merit.

Tonight I have to tell DC that they can't go to either of the SLAC's that they really want and have offers to. And we're not prepared with essays because we spent oodles of time on recruiting on top of an intensive year round sports schedule.

I hope this serves as a cautionary tale for donut hole parents of younger athletic recruits. Don't waste your time on recruiting unless you can either pay full price, your kid is good enough to get a hefty scholarship at one of the few good schools that offers athletic scholarships *and wants to go to these larger schools*, or you qualify for significant FA.

How did you not know this before you took your kid to these schools as options for them?

Fiscal responsibility is part of going to college.

This is unnecessarily nasty. OP is figuring out the game now - and the game definitely sucks for families in her position - and is warning others. Why do you feel need to jump down her throat?

I don't think that post was that nasty. I think it was a reality check. To your point, I think the OP is having the reality check on their own so the "I told you so" doesn't add a ton of value, but it is banging home the point for others.

The college process is very much about managing expectations. This is in terms of where they might get in. And it is in terms of where you will let them go. If it is relevant, set a budget and do the homework on scholarships before focusing on a school. If a school is likely to not be a real possibility, de-emphasize it. It isn't totally in your control, but you don't want your kid locking in on a school or worse yet getting into it then having to say no. The further in the process the kid has gone with the dream school, the harder it is for them when it becomes a no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a HS junior swimmer who has been practicing for about 20 hours a week for the first three years of high school.

Since he's good but not a superstar (Y nationals qualifier but not junior nationals qualifier), it's becoming clear that for him, swimming will actually be *limiting* his choices in college rather than giving him access.

Meaning: his times are good enough to get him into some ok DIII schools with no merit, but he could get into even better schools by not swimming and instead getting in on the merit of his grades and other extracurriculars.

Long story short: swimming in college had been a goal, but I think it's time to scale back and aim for club swim in college instead. And he's ok with that. It's actually kind of liberating!

This is pretty close to our situation too, though DC is considering some D3 schools with strong swim programs and strong but not elite academics. For our family’s situation, those schools will have a similar price as our in-state options.

If DC can get into UVA and do club then great. If not, he will probably go to D3 where he can get merit.

That said, I would not do anything differently. DC loves swimming, it has been incredible for his self esteem, self discipline, making friends, and giving back by becoming a coach/swim instructor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Youth sports is such a racket.

There are many, many other reasons besides athletic scholarships why it is good for kids to do sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Youth sports is such a racket.

There are many, many other reasons besides athletic scholarships why it is good for kids to do sports.

There are different types of youth sports. There is the type where it is fun, play with neighborhood kids once or twice a week, parent coaches, builds character, etc. Then there are those who are profiting off of it that chew up and spit out a lot of kids. If I had a nickel for every kid who is spending a fortune on traveling soccer or baseball when realistically they have zero chance of it turning into something (but they think it will), I would be very wealthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh I hate not being rich right now. DC has athletic recruiting offers to some top SLAC schools, but they don't do athletic or merit scholarships. I ran the NPCs and we get zero financial aid at all of them, but they're just too expensive for us to pay full price.

Now DC has to either 1) go to lower ranked schools offering athletic/merit scholarships or 2) forego athletic recruitment and just apply EA to state schools or shot gun in regular decision in hopes of merit.

Tonight I have to tell DC that they can't go to either of the SLAC's that they really want and have offers to. And we're not prepared with essays because we spent oodles of time on recruiting on top of an intensive year round sports schedule.

I hope this serves as a cautionary tale for donut hole parents of younger athletic recruits. Don't waste your time on recruiting unless you can either pay full price, your kid is good enough to get a hefty scholarship at one of the few good schools that offers athletic scholarships *and wants to go to these larger schools*, or you qualify for significant FA.

How did you not know this before you took your kid to these schools as options for them?

Fiscal responsibility is part of going to college.

This is unnecessarily nasty. OP is figuring out the game now - and the game definitely sucks for families in her position - and is warning others. Why do you feel need to jump down her throat?

Why, because if she had taken 10 minutes to look up the prices of these LACs and how much they offer she would have known this before her kid got so attached. Parenting fail.

Finances are 100% a part of going to college.

She wasn't honest with her kid from the start. That is also a parenting fail.

Nor was she honest about her kid's abilities.

Signed parent of more than one Div 1 player and extremely high academic stats. Who made sure her kids knew exactly how much every single college was going to cost before my kids applied. And that they would be on track with a major to get a job upon graduation. Which they did, and they all went to graduate school as well.

I am sure she never talked to her kid about majors and what they will do if they get no play time and lose the scholarship for sophomore year from injury, etc. So many variables that OP failed to discuss as a parent. Why, because OP was wrapped up in their kids' sports and not the long-term goal, which is life skills.

OP came on to social media whining about her failures as a parent. She created with mess with unrealistic expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh I hate not being rich right now. DC has athletic recruiting offers to some top SLAC schools, but they don't do athletic or merit scholarships. I ran the NPCs and we get zero financial aid at all of them, but they're just too expensive for us to pay full price.

Now DC has to either 1) go to lower ranked schools offering athletic/merit scholarships or 2) forego athletic recruitment and just apply EA to state schools or shot gun in regular decision in hopes of merit.

Tonight I have to tell DC that they can't go to either of the SLAC's that they really want and have offers to. And we're not prepared with essays because we spent oodles of time on recruiting on top of an intensive year round sports schedule.

I hope this serves as a cautionary tale for donut hole parents of younger athletic recruits. Don't waste your time on recruiting unless you can either pay full price, your kid is good enough to get a hefty scholarship at one of the few good schools that offers athletic scholarships *and wants to go to these larger schools*, or you qualify for significant FA.

How did you not know this before you took your kid to these schools as options for them?

Fiscal responsibility is part of going to college.

This is unnecessarily nasty. OP is figuring out the game now - and the game definitely sucks for families in her position - and is warning others. Why do you feel need to jump down her throat?

Why, because if she had taken 10 minutes to look up the prices of these LACs and how much they offer she would have known this before her kid got so attached. Parenting fail.

Finances are 100% a part of going to college.

She wasn't honest with her kid from the start. That is also a parenting fail.

Nor was she honest about her kid's abilities.

Signed parent of more than one Div 1 player and extremely high academic stats. Who made sure her kids knew exactly how much every single college was going to cost before my kids applied. And that they would be on track with a major to get a job upon graduation. Which they did, and they all went to graduate school as well.

I am sure she never talked to her kid about majors and what they will do if they get no play time and lose the scholarship for sophomore year from injury, etc. So many variables that OP failed to discuss as a parent. Why, because OP was wrapped up in their kids' sports and not the long-term goal, which is life skills.

OP came on to social media whining about her failures as a parent. She created with mess with unrealistic expectations.

You sound like a nightmare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh I hate not being rich right now. DC has athletic recruiting offers to some top SLAC schools, but they don't do athletic or merit scholarships. I ran the NPCs and we get zero financial aid at all of them, but they're just too expensive for us to pay full price.

Now DC has to either 1) go to lower ranked schools offering athletic/merit scholarships or 2) forego athletic recruitment and just apply EA to state schools or shot gun in regular decision in hopes of merit.

Tonight I have to tell DC that they can't go to either of the SLAC's that they really want and have offers to. And we're not prepared with essays because we spent oodles of time on recruiting on top of an intensive year round sports schedule.

I hope this serves as a cautionary tale for donut hole parents of younger athletic recruits. Don't waste your time on recruiting unless you can either pay full price, your kid is good enough to get a hefty scholarship at one of the few good schools that offers athletic scholarships *and wants to go to these larger schools*, or you qualify for significant FA.

The harsh reality is that these are your DS's choices whether he plays sports or not. You can't afford the top privates, regardless.

My DCs were not college-caliber athletes, but given our financial situation their choices for college were private schools that offer merit aid (that is, not the tops ones), lower ranked publics that had reasonable tuition for OOS students (or offered merit to OOS students), and in-state publics. These will also be your DS's choices. Honestly, it's fine. The only problem is that your son had hopes up for something different. My kids did not, because we informed them from the outset that there was no point in even thinking about certain schools.

Note that your DS can get a fine education at a school that offers merit/athletic scholarships, just like my DCs did. (I had one go to an SLAC offering merit and another go to our in-state flagship. Both had good experiences--learned tons and made good friends--and now have good jobs.)

[Anonymous]

I don't think its at all called for to be snide and attack this parent. The fact is it is hard to predict ahead of time how your kid will do academically let alone athletically to be proactively ruling out whole categories of colleges

[Anonymous]

Have SLAC’s made offers already? OP, did you run any NPCs in the past year as your child considered schools? I am sorry the numbers didn’t work for your child, but this situation shouldn’t be a surprise to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think athletes who are going to be D1 athletes probably already kinda know that in 9th grade. It’s a tough decision, to scale back in the sports. But you have to be rationale about it. My kids have been happier after scaling back and/or leaving their sports to find other activities. There are so many things to try out in high school.

This. My kids dropped club spots and just played varsity beginning in 10th grade because it was clear that they were not going to be D1 athletes. We had seen too many kids commit to third tier D3 liberal arts schools with merit aid in order to play in college and not have to pay $95K as an athlete at Bowdoin or Carleton or similar.

I see this so often and it's baffling to me. This was the end goal? Your kid playing a sport and some crap college? And these are kids who could get in somewhere better.

[Anonymous]

DD is at an Ivy playing her sport. She got zero financial aid. She's now a sophomore and has been a really hard road. She doesn't get much playing time and doesn't get along with her teammates very much. The students at the school are a little weird because they are so so smart and she still working on making friends. The grass is not always greener. In hindsight, I would have encouraged her skip to D1 and just go in-state as a regular applicant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh I hate not being rich right now. DC has athletic recruiting offers to some top SLAC schools, but they don't do athletic or merit scholarships. I ran the NPCs and we get zero financial aid at all of them, but they're just too expensive for us to pay full price.

Now DC has to either 1) go to lower ranked schools offering athletic/merit scholarships or 2) forego athletic recruitment and just apply EA to state schools or shot gun in regular decision in hopes of merit.

Tonight I have to tell DC that they can't go to either of the SLAC's that they really want and have offers to. And we're not prepared with essays because we spent oodles of time on recruiting on top of an intensive year round sports schedule.

I hope this serves as a cautionary tale for donut hole parents of younger athletic recruits. Don't waste your time on recruiting unless you can either pay full price, your kid is good enough to get a hefty scholarship at one of the few good schools that offers athletic scholarships *and wants to go to these larger schools*, or you qualify for significant FA.

If it’s any consolation, the odds were high he would go to one of these schools and either get cut from the team, quit from burnout or get injured before the four years were up anyway.