How often do your college children contact you?

[Anonymous]

We just keep "find my phone" on. it works for our family. We give our kids incredible freedom in high school but being tractable in case of emergency is their end of the bargain. the same continues to college but it"s a rare occasion that I check their location after the first week of school-the novelty of knowing if they're at the dining hall or down the street wears off fast. It actually seems that they track me more than I do them. The other day I was at Dulles picking up a friend and my freshman kid texted to ask where I was going.

[Anonymous]

Our kid chose to go to college abroad, and just started classes last week. We did a video call this morning, and agreed to establish Sunday mornings as our time to formally check in. Because there is no dining hall, they have to cook, so I have been getting texts asking for advice or telling me about kitchen mishaps every couple of days. Location sharing is on, and I admit that I have looked a couple of times, not because I think they’ll be somewhere they’re not supposed to be, but because I miss them, and seeing their little dot makes me smile.

[Anonymous]

I called about once a month in college. Maybe every other month during junior/senior years and during grad school.

Any more than 1/month is unreasonable unless there's something specific that you need quickly.

[Anonymous]

My son’s really did not like the whole Saturday or Sunday phone calls because they were busy with their friends watching football.

One of my sons worked in a place where he just sort of, sat at the door and checked people‘s IDs, he did that on Wednesdays so we talked during that time.

Find out a time that he doesn’t feel annoyed.

[Anonymous]

We text daily, call whenever (once or twice a week). No scheduled phone calls. If DS is busy, he tells us he is busy. DS is in leaving learning community, so I have contact information for the person in charge who lives in DS's dorm. No roommate info - DS refused to provide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son’s really did not like the whole Saturday or Sunday phone calls because they were busy with their friends watching football.

One of my sons worked in a place where he just sort of, sat at the door and checked people‘s IDs, he did that on Wednesdays so we talked during that time.

Find out a time that he doesn’t feel annoyed.

And also, don't be annoying.

[Anonymous]

Once a week

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m very surprised about how many parents track their college aged kids. What’s the purpose of it? It’s so invasive, give your kid some space.

My kids like me to know, in case they get into a bad situation and need something.

[Anonymous]

We never had a standing phone call but would talk around once a week for the first two years and every other week for the second two years. There were texts periodically in between.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We made it clear that there would be a once a week FaceTime call. Usually it’s on Sunday evenings but not always. We get occasional texts to us or in our family group chat. Sometimes not at all, and sometimes two or three in a week.
We do not have the roommates numbers. It’s not a bad idea though.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m very surprised about how many parents track their college aged kids. What’s the purpose of it? It’s so invasive, give your kid some space.

I don’t spend a lot of time tracking my kids. I might check if we have a plan to meet or if I need to call (between classes and activities I can’t remember schedules for five of us and my kids never silence their notifications). But in all fairness, our kids track us. So I don’t give it a second thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have what we call a "proof of life photo" agreement with my college kids.

About 2-3 times per month, just text me a selfie of yourself doing something. They are already doing this on Snapchat with their friends, so it is not an inconvenience for them. They text when they take off on trips and when they arrive, as a general safety practice so someone has their agenda in case an emergency happens.

I also have all their debit card info viewable on my banking app. If I don't see any charges for a few days beyond what is normal for them, I reach out.

If we contact them about anything involving university finances, such as messed up tuition charges, or anything involving health, emergencies or elderly grandparents, they must respond that day. Basically, anything critical or time sensitive requires a response, as that is a basic adulting skill.

Otherwise, they are busy living their lives, so we just wait for them to check in. They know if ai send them something like a funny video or news story, I don't expect a response. That is one way I show that I am thinking of them, but it is okay if they don't text back.

We didn't call our parents daily or weekly in college. It will be okay.

+1

[Anonymous]

Two boys in college. We talk on the phone every weekend. And sporadic texting throughout the week. One is a much better texter than the other, but we just roll with it.

[Anonymous]

Communicate. I talked to my kids and said if they were looking for me and I didn’t answer, they had options. They could call me at work or on the landline or call their dad (my DH). For me, when I call you and don’t hear from you for DAYS, the line stops and I have no options. I don’t want to call your roommate or campus police to check on you, I NEED a response. If your response is I will call you on Tuesday because I am busy, I will accept that answer. Some kids (mainly boys) don’t understand when you worry so just explain it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I emailed, texted my son who is freshmen this year, probably once a week. In the beginning, he replied within two days. Yes, this is only Sept, last week, he didn't reply. His Dad called him today, and he sounded annoyed and said it's because there is nothing important in the email. When we asked whether we could have his roommate's number just in case of emergency, he immediately rejected and acted like we were so crazy.

hmmm, we ask for the number totally for safety issue. Say, if you call and can't reach your son in another state for quite a time, shouldn't you check with someone to make sure there is no accident? I don't know why he reacted like that. Also, email/texting once a week is too frequent? He can just reply like "I'm busy now."

How do you keep contact with your college children?

Either he hates you or he's constantly drunk/high so can't talk to you