DS can’t handle group learning settings (MCPS)

[Anonymous]

Similar to an earlier PP, my child made drastic improvement in the 1 year of COVID and being at home. He went from not being accepted at Rica and other schools due to his extreme behaviors to being fully mainstreamed on a 504. Interestingly, his psychiatrist said it happened to several of his patients. It was about the only group who benefited from the closures.

I highly recommend you give him a year of homeschool. I know too well how hard this is financially, but for many of these kids who are close to full burnout, they truly need the change of scenery. Teach him what he’s interested in learning and focus on his mental health. You can finish the school part of the day in just a couple of hours and then the rest of the day can focus on preferred activities. Try to find the happiness again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is LCS Lourie? If yes, what exactly did they say as the reason for rejection? I'd suggest asking Ivymount and Lourie for recommendations for other schools that may be a better fit. I'm surprised to hear that either school would reject a student for being "too dysregulated."

OP here: yes, Lourie. DS couldn’t handle the tour much less entering a classroom for the shadow visit. He immediately tries to flee. Staff blocks him. He switches to fight. They respond and he feels traumatized. They say no thanks. I think no one has the time to sit with him for as long as it takes to build the connection before trying to nudge him to take a step when he’s ready.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are no placements unfortunately. Go on Facebook join the DMV PDA group.

OP here. Thank you, actually. For some reason it never occurred to me to check to see if such a group existed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are no placements unfortunately. Go on Facebook join the DMV PDA group.

Pp here. Sorry to be abrupt just know you aren’t alone. You are describing a PDA response on the verge of autistic burnout.

Clinical research is just starting but there is some connection to the onset of adrenarche and this change in behavior for this profile. Girls 6-8, boys 7-9. It’s like pouring gasoline (cortisol) on a fire (nervous system).

This is not MCPS first rodeo. There are quite a few students in what we call “placement purgatory.” Years of cuts in AND out of district plus higher demand for SN services has overwhelmed the process. To be honest, There are LITERALLY no programs left that meet these needs. Even Ivymount…which is likely the best option.

For MCPS you have a few paths - none are what you are going to want to hear. Option 1: ask to enroll in the Blended Learning Program. This covers you legally and academically. Option 2: keep on trying to find a placement. Some families are on year 2 of waiting…Just know the options presented start to feel more like prison than therapeutic setting. BTDT and it led to PTSD and even more anxiety. Option 3: you can get litigious and try to get money out of mcps for expenses and or alternative setting. We did this and highly DO NOT Recommend. It costs more in legal fees and stress than any amount of money you will win. We won and are still net negative and with no placement. Option 4: withdraw and homeschool. Choose an umbrella that is rather easy on portfolio review. Switch your mindset from “school” to “medical recovery.” If anyone asks then your kid has a medical issue and you are taking the time to heal. You hire tutors, babysitters, and do online programs to supplement and then go back into public, non-public, or private when your kid is ready.

None of this is good news if you work. You may need to take FMLA. I ended up having to quit my job for a year. It is awful in every way. But your kid genuinely needs rest.


You will have a lot of backlash from the schools, these boards etc. — unfortunately there are no answers that check all the boxes. You need to reframe internal expectations for a while but know that it WILL get better.

OP here. This all resonates. You are correct that it isn’t what I was hoping to hear but it is what I figured it was going to boil down to.

I need to do a deep dive on homeschooling options to see what would best fit DS and would be the most practical for us to implement. It’s such new territory for us. It seems like the best of the bad options if I want to support my kid.

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There may be online options. I haven't kept up with MVA, but if that is still gone, maybe CIEP would consider funding a virtual school. You'd need to stay at home with him, though.

Have you looked into partial hospitalization programs?

Other schools to consider (unless already rejected) may be Shepard Pratt, Foundation, Children's guild, KKI). I'd recommend Ivymoutn and Lourie over these, but worth looking into.

OP: We visited SP and felt like DS would not feel like he belonged among the other students. Whether or not he should be more open is kind of beside the point because if he’s not willing to go it’s not going to be a practical solution. We did not do outreach to the other schools and at this point we do not plan to. I think we need a radical alternative until such time we can reconsider LCS or Ivymount. I’m interested to see if CIEP has an online options (I don’t think so) or if they would consider it given the circumstances.

I am both remote and part time and would love to find an option that allows me to keep working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How long ago were you rejected from home and hospital? It might be worth revisiting now that your child has been rejected from CIEP's placements. Perhaps they would consider it now.

To answer your question - I do not think there are special ed programs that provide instruction without any other students there (other than home/hospital).

OP here: we applied while we were in the IEP development process shortly after I started keeping him home. Given how the school visits have gone I agree that it’s worth reapplying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Similar to an earlier PP, my child made drastic improvement in the 1 year of COVID and being at home. He went from not being accepted at Rica and other schools due to his extreme behaviors to being fully mainstreamed on a 504. Interestingly, his psychiatrist said it happened to several of his patients. It was about the only group who benefited from the closures.

I highly recommend you give him a year of homeschool. I know too well how hard this is financially, but for many of these kids who are close to full burnout, they truly need the change of scenery. Teach him what he’s interested in learning and focus on his mental health. You can finish the school part of the day in just a couple of hours and then the rest of the day can focus on preferred activities. Try to find the happiness again.

OP here: this makes so much sense. Thank you. I’m so want to see this kid happy and learning again.

[Anonymous]

My kid did with a similar profile did great at RICA. I would encourage you to at least ask for a referral.

Admission to RICA is made by the medical staff, not the school. If the therapeutic staff believes this is the right placement and they can help him, he will be admitted. The medical admission goes through a separate door from the school. During the intake, there will not be a school visit.

RICA used to have an elem school. After Covid, there weren't enough elem referals to keep the elem teacher on staff so at the moment, they don't have one. BUT the principal wants to bring the elem school back. So if you were to be admitted, they would need to staff the position. Summer is a great time to start this process.

When my kid was in the elem school, there were only 4-5 kids (think one room schoolhouse). There was a teacher + at least one para in the room. The elem is in a separate wing from the MS and HS. They have the space and support staff to support him 1:1 in the beginning and then slowly integrate him into the larger class.

[Anonymous]

OP - I think your only options for individual instruction without any other kids present would be home/hospital or a virtual program. Honestly, since he is above grade level academically, I would not over stress about the academic piece.

Maybe once you're set up with one of these, you could try easing back into group activities. I'd recommend these options as ways to work back to school:
-spending time in preferred activities in public settings with other people present but not with any interaction (e.g., playing a game in a park, going ice skating or trampoline park, shopping in a preferred store)
-playdates with 1 other kid (family friend or neighborhood teenager maybe)
-spending time near schools (e.g., basketball court) when school isn't in session
-small group activities/classes (sport, theater, any preferred activity etc.; there are different organizations that have activities for children with special needs)
-group therapy/social skills group