Targeted with hostility- would prefer invisibility

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never experienced this. You sound incredibly dramatic

I haven't experienced this much either, but I also chose to live in a "less desirable" and affordable part of the DC metro.

I've noticed that the wealthier to neighborhood, the more obnoxious the behavior, particularly of men.

Where I live I only see if with men driving expensive cars acting like everyone is trying to slow them down while they travel through the area where the "poors" live.

I don't doubt OP has experienced this, if she is walking while appearing middle aged in a wealthier area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It may be as simple as people are in a hurry and you're not. Take the farmer's market example. It's really hard to be patient with a shopper who is just staring at the merchandise and not actively selecting yet is standing right in the middle of the display. I also never look at my grocery list unless I'm standing out of the way. I don't have this problem with guys but my peer group, older women, are the worst hold up.

OP again. FWIW, I wasn’t in this a-hole’s way. But I understand what you’re saying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is general socialized disdain for middle aged women. It really sucks, OP. Sorry you experienced that.

OP and yes that’s it. I’m light skinned too and while I agree that some women did sh!tty rotten things as captured in viral videos leading to “Karen” as an insult, that’s not what’s happening. I’m not being called that, but that as a thing seems to be very broadly misapplied where every middle-aged white or whiteish woman is, forgive me, sus.

My mom isn’t white and she didn’t experience this, from our conversations, but she did more driving and less walking to and fro, my dad did more of the shopping, so maybe there was less opportunity to run into these bastards!

I’m not white and was out and about a lot more as a 20-something and therefore was on the receiving end of a lot of strange comments. Not so much now as a middle aged person.

I sometimes wonder if the women who complain about the hostility/invisibility in middle age got so much praise in youth that it never occurred to them that the world is full of weirdos.

Honestly, it's this. When you're young/pretty, people stay on better behavior because they think they have a chance at getting you into bed. When you're no longer sexually attractive to jerks who perv on young women, the disdain is plain. It's been there all along; they never respected you. They just thought they could get something they wanted if they masked hard enough.

Very good point-I agree 100 percent.

[Anonymous]

So sorry this happened to you. I would be very upset if this happened to me.

Most recently, I’ve had two older white ladies tell me in a parking lot that I parked too close to their cars. I was clearly in the lines and there was plenty of room… I thought it was so odd. I’m a middle aged minority woman and these women were white and a bit older. The first time it happened I offered to move my car as a kind gesture, even though it was ridiculous bc I wasn’t even close to the line and she declined. Even more ironic bc I hate it when our car gets dinged so I’m always conscious of how close I am to other cars. The second time it happened, I made the other lady look at to the lines and my car clearly within the lines

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty sure the lab tech who drew my blood at the doctor's this week stabbed through the vein on purpose. She had a chip on her shoulder with me (middle aged white woman) that she did not have with either of the men who were in the room.

Jesus the victim mentality. Perhaps your veins just suck.

Or maybe the med tech went a little power-trippy, as people in that industry often do.

If you've never had a whitecoat exert their privilege in their domain, well, you must be a really healthy person. Report back once you've seen a bit more; this sort of shite happens all. the. time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty sure the lab tech who drew my blood at the doctor's this week stabbed through the vein on purpose. She had a chip on her shoulder with me (middle aged white woman) that she did not have with either of the men who were in the room.

Jesus the victim mentality. Perhaps your veins just suck.

Or maybe the med tech went a little power-trippy, as people in that industry often do.

If you've never had a whitecoat exert their privilege in their domain, well, you must be a really healthy person. Report back once you've seen a bit more; this sort of shite happens all. the. time.

Agree, I’m still healthy but had doctors behave abominably when I was pregnant.

My 78 year old mom has also been stabbed in the vein to the point where she had to have an ultrasound because it was so swollen they were worried something went very wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty sure the lab tech who drew my blood at the doctor's this week stabbed through the vein on purpose. She had a chip on her shoulder with me (middle aged white woman) that she did not have with either of the men who were in the room.

Jesus the victim mentality. Perhaps your veins just suck.

Or maybe the med tech went a little power-trippy, as people in that industry often do.

If you've never had a whitecoat exert their privilege in their domain, well, you must be a really healthy person. Report back once you've seen a bit more; this sort of shite happens all. the. time.

I’m not a pushover. I am fully capable of standing up for myself in this situation. Grow a spine

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty sure the lab tech who drew my blood at the doctor's this week stabbed through the vein on purpose. She had a chip on her shoulder with me (middle aged white woman) that she did not have with either of the men who were in the room.

Jesus the victim mentality. Perhaps your veins just suck.

Or maybe the med tech went a little power-trippy, as people in that industry often do.

If you've never had a whitecoat exert their privilege in their domain, well, you must be a really healthy person. Report back once you've seen a bit more; this sort of shite happens all. the. time.

I’m not a pushover. I am fully capable of standing up for myself in this situation. Grow a spine

Maybe you need to grow a spine too then.

[Anonymous]

To me it sounds like you’re one of those annoying people that rudely stand and stop in crowded spaces, and block others and make it difficult for people to flow around you. It has nothing to do with your age.

I encounter people like this in our huge office building at work every day and they’re so annoying. They block entrances while chatting with friends, they walk 4 abreast down the main hallway so people can’t walk by, they start walking backwards and bump into you. People like this are so rude and oblivious, and are bound to get cursed out at some point.

[Anonymous]

This has been my experience for awhile, long before menopause. I think it's because I'm small, or maybe I have some kind of "weirdo magnet" in my body. The deranged person walking on the sidewalk will choose me to hiss "b****" at, the loon who gets on the subway will hone in on me while he rants, the creep standing behind me in a line will touch my hair . . . that sort of thing. Other people have noticed this, too, so I'm not crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never experienced this. You sound incredibly dramatic

I'm 56 and people are usually very nice to me.