Nobody is empathetic anymore?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What response do you want from a business client.

They hired you. You can't do the work and tell them. They say "ok". Seems like a very reasonable business response.

This. These are not your friends. This is work and that was a reasonable response.

[Anonymous]

No, people don't have much empathy. I don't think this a new thing though, I've experienced this my whole life and I'm in my 50s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m self employed and my DH was in a serious car wreck last weekend that left both legs broken and he was in the ICU for days. This meant refunding clients and communicating with them when I could. When explaining what was going on very few people said they were sorry or they understood. When telling a client I couldn’t complete their work and to void their check because of what happened I got an “ok” and that was it. I work in a frivolous industry so this isn’t like medicine or law. I’m not looking for attention or anything like that but I’m shocked at the complete lack of any empathy and since Covid it’s something I’ve noticed that people seem to just be indifferent to one another.

Were YOU empathetic about whatever stress and extra burden cancelling your agreements caused them? Your post suggests not. "I work in a frivolous industry so this isn't like medicine or law" implies you bailing on your agreements wasn't allowed to matter to your clients. Check your own self-centered lack of compassion first, OP. I'm sorry life got lifey and lifed you, but you then lifed a bunch of other people who had already fulfilled their part of the bargain. They don't owe you empathy.

There sure does seem to be a lot of 'main character syndrome' going around these days...

+1. These are business clients not friends. They are probably used to doing business with larger organizations that have a least some mitigations for scenarios like this in place. Did you even consider the impact that your “frivolous” work has on them? Perhaps delaying their new logo means they need to delay their new product launch which means a month of lost revenue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What response do you want from a business client.

They hired you. You can't do the work and tell them. They say "ok". Seems like a very reasonable business response.

This. These are not your friends. This is work and that was a reasonable response.

This was about to be my response. It’s business. They don’t care about the reason and you didn’t have to give personal details.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His legs are broken, yours are not. They’re probably annoyed that you can’t work.

But who has to take him to the doctor appointments, trips to the pharmacy?

“Sorry hon, I know we are married but I have to work so call an Uber to the hospital, go get your own medications. Suck it up, hubby. “

Caregiving doesn’t take the whole day. I would not hire OP back because it shows poor time management skills.

Tell me you’ve never been a caregiver without telling me you’ve never been a caregiver. He likely has a very complicated medication regimen around the clock so sleep can be impossible. Plus help with the toilet, dressing changes, general comfort etc. It takes all your time and your soul.

Dear OP's sockpuppet: sorry caregiving has you feeling burned out, but it's not your customers' responsibility to lift you up, especially as you bail on your work commitments. Get a therapist or a caregivers support group.

Wow. You people are literal monsters. We’re talking about basic decency. My financial advisors mother died and needed to reschedule several things. I said « I’m so sorry » and I sent a card because I’m not a monster. I understand that there are more important things in life than whatever I’m doing. I think you could probably use a therapist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m self employed and my DH was in a serious car wreck last weekend that left both legs broken and he was in the ICU for days. This meant refunding clients and communicating with them when I could. When explaining what was going on very few people said they were sorry or they understood. When telling a client I couldn’t complete their work and to void their check because of what happened I got an “ok” and that was it. I work in a frivolous industry so this isn’t like medicine or law. I’m not looking for attention or anything like that but I’m shocked at the complete lack of any empathy and since Covid it’s something I’ve noticed that people seem to just be indifferent to one another.

Wouldn't read too much into it.

People under 60 these days were raised on lacking manners for the most part, and those under 40 are so introverted and shy that even if they were taught good manners, they tend to not use them due to social awkwardness or anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What response do you want from a business client.

They hired you. You can't do the work and tell them. They say "ok". Seems like a very reasonable business response.

This. These are not your friends. This is work and that was a reasonable response.

This was about to be my response. It’s business. They don’t care about the reason and you didn’t have to give personal details.

When this happened to a friend of mine, a hairstylist who had to move appointments because her mother died, she fired all the clients who gave her a hard time about having to change their appointments because of the *death and funeral* of her mother.

Not quite the same thing as yours OP, but she said she had learned that she just doesn't want to do business with those people anymore and tries to weed them out as clients early on now.

Providing a service that's seen a frivolous and optional may lead to more difficult and demanding clients, because they are the people with money to blow on this sort of thing.

Hope you dh recovers soon OP.

[Anonymous]

I find it weird not to have responded with something along the lines of "ok, hope he has a speedy recovery". I also find it weird how you referred to your business.

[Anonymous]

Seems like some of your clients found their way to this thread. Some of you guys are wack jobs. I’m sorry about your husband OP and I’m sorry your clients couldn’t see past their delayed “joy” to react like human beings. People are at their breaking points it seems.

[Anonymous]

People have completely separated work from their friends and family. It's not personal at all anymore and will be even less so with AI integration

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His legs are broken, yours are not. They’re probably annoyed that you can’t work.

But who has to take him to the doctor appointments, trips to the pharmacy?

“Sorry hon, I know we are married but I have to work so call an Uber to the hospital, go get your own medications. Suck it up, hubby. “

Caregiving doesn’t take the whole day. I would not hire OP back because it shows poor time management skills.

Tell me you’ve never been a caregiver without telling me you’ve never been a caregiver. He likely has a very complicated medication regimen around the clock so sleep can be impossible. Plus help with the toilet, dressing changes, general comfort etc. It takes all your time and your soul.

Dear OP's sockpuppet: sorry caregiving has you feeling burned out, but it's not your customers' responsibility to lift you up, especially as you bail on your work commitments. Get a therapist or a caregivers support group.

Wow. You people are literal monsters. We’re talking about basic decency. My financial advisors mother died and needed to reschedule several things. I said « I’m so sorry » and I sent a card because I’m not a monster. I understand that there are more important things in life than whatever I’m doing. I think you could probably use a therapist.

I agree! How hard is it to say, "I'm sorry! Hope he's recovering well!" It is always easier to be kind, in my experience.

[Anonymous]

People saying "I'm sorry" doesn't change anything. It's not "kind" it's just air. Why on Earth would anyone care.

[Anonymous]

I get the business part and not having to care, but a few words of regret would have been the right thing to express. Last week, my nail lady canceled on the morning of my appointment due to a sick dog. Even though I was annoyed, I still conveyed my sympathy and asked if anyone in the shop was available to take me.

Like previous posters have said, referring your clients elsewhere would have been a best practice, but that still doesn't fix the lack of empathy.

[Anonymous]

I feel in the past people had more honesty and integrity. I don’t trust strangers stories anymore.

I also feel that in the past, more people were willing to do almost anything to get the job done. Your safety nets, if you didn’t do the work, you didn’t get paid. No direct judgment on you, I don’t know your specific situation.

Sorry about your situation, OP.

[Anonymous]

First, OP I am so sorry. That is incredibly stressful and I am so sorry your family is going through this.

I think there are 2 sides. Those of us who have faced major adversity sometimes find it easier to empathize and feel truly pained hearing anyone else facing so much. At the same time, many of us have been through dealing with story tellers where we had tremendous empathy and were taken for a ride. When I have developed trust with someone I know the story is completely true, but early on I am sometimes suspicious. Over the years I have caught people faking someone died, faking their own cancer (a coworker who finally admitted it to our boss) and accidentally telling me a true story but it happened last year and had not happened again. So if I heard your story and didn't know you i would still say "I am so sorry" and have empathy, but I have been burned and would hope I was not being taken on another ride.