Simple weddings and happier marriages

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had a nice wedding in my home country that was a fraction of what it could cost in the US. Probably would have been 6 figures here

My aunt just shell out 60k usb to pay the bride price in my home country. Shes 58 and couldn’t retire because of this.
Meanwhile my mom who retired at 50 has the audacity to cry about not collecting a bride price on me. I just roll eyes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:...and the brainwashing from the diamond industry about a guy should spend 3-4 months of salary on an engagement diamond is a big scam.

Totally, expecting a guy to be inconvenienced is a big scam!
But expecting a girl to bear children, do house work for free and bring home equal paycheck, is somehow not a scam 😌

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:American weddings are dumb AF. How many other places in the world out pressure on young couples to go horrifically into debt for a stupid ass wedding? Between debt for the ring to having to shell out $10-20k for booze, wedding culture in the US is so illogical and stupid. They gouge the crap out of new couple and charge 3x the price for horrible food, just because it is a wedding.

We did a courthouse wedding, went to a $250 dinner, and are still married 20 years later. Zero debt and were able to buy a house because of it.

I know of plenty of couples who had country club weddings, with professional photographers, catering, open bar, band/dj, wedding favors, fancy rings, etc., who are ALSO married over 20 years later. There's zero correlation between having an inexpensive wedding and having a happy marriage.

+1 The majority of the weddings I've been to have been big weddings, and I have never been to a wedding of a couple that ended up getting divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a lovely, black tie, DC wedding. We tried to keep it simple, but still had 120 people. I definitely skipped a lot of things: flowers (other than my bouquet), no kids (we didn't know any though, we got married young). But we had a beautiful venue, open bar, good food and dancing. No regrets and we definitely have the best marriage I know of. We had family coming from far away, so we couldn't just have appetizers. When people spend a lot of time and money to come to your wedding, it's cheap to not have a bar and real food.

Anecdotal, but the worst marriages I know were courthouse weddings and destination weddings.

Ha, courthouse wedding here, thirty five years of bliss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:...and the brainwashing from the diamond industry about a guy should spend 3-4 months of salary on an engagement diamond is a big scam.

Totally, expecting a guy to be inconvenienced is a big scam!
But expecting a girl to bear children, do house work for free and bring home equal paycheck, is somehow not a scam 😌

Honey if you do not want to get married and slave away as you seem to think it is, then do not. But stop putting your crap on everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no corelation between simple weddings and happier marriages.

If your simple wedding has happened because you are poor AF or you are not a person who wants to spend on your guests (destination wedding, asking for a color themed dress code, paid bar, insane requests from guests) ....you are going to be unhappily married. Poverty and/or selfishness is a curse.

My friend had a simple wedding and got divorced.

[Anonymous]

If a bride "must have" a big expensive wedding and the groom or parents use a lot of their savings to make her happy, I can see it being an unhappy marriage someday. High maintenance wives are a PITA.

[Anonymous]

Courthouse wedding for legal ceremony and non legal destination wedding for 30 people. It was inexpensive and a lot less drama. Going strong in year 27 together!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:American weddings are dumb AF. How many other places in the world out pressure on young couples to go horrifically into debt for a stupid ass wedding? Between debt for the ring to having to shell out $10-20k for booze, wedding culture in the US is so illogical and stupid. They gouge the crap out of new couple and charge 3x the price for horrible food, just because it is a wedding.

We did a courthouse wedding, went to a $250 dinner, and are still married 20 years later. Zero debt and were able to buy a house because of it.

Exact same here!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no corelation between simple weddings and happier marriages.

If your simple wedding has happened because you are poor AF or you are not a person who wants to spend on your guests (destination wedding, asking for a color themed dress code, paid bar, insane requests from guests) ....you are going to be unhappily married. Poverty and/or selfishness is a curse.

My friend had a simple wedding and got divorced.

My friend had a big wedding and needed to declare bankruptcy 5 years later because they spent so much in their wedding, then had a major health problem.

[Anonymous]

Its not like couples with extravagant weddings can't get unhappy or won't get divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We spent six figures on our wedding 14 years ago. My parents paid for it happily. We had over 200 guests and it was black tie. It was lovely and one of the best days ever. We still look back fondly at how nice it was to have grandparents and extended family all in one place to celebrate. We haven't had any other event since then where everyone we loved was in one place. Still happily married and don't regret the money spent at all.

You didn’t spend six figures—your parents did.

[Anonymous]

This is a ridiculous thread. Of course there are people who have lavish weddings and then get divorced as well as people who have simple weddings and then get divorced.

I had a sort of a middle of the road wedding (small reception with dinner, church wedding, flowers, inexpensive rings). It was affordable and relatives came from some distance. I have been married for 43 years. One of my siblings had a lavish wedding at a top hotel with all the bells and whistles (the in-laws wanted that). That marriage is honestly not great, but he stays in it because his in-laws have a lot of money (yeah, I know it's nuts). I also have a sibling who ran away to get married and that marriage did not work. So I think it's best to have a wedding that is reasonable (and within a budget) and you will probably have more reason in your married life. Borrowing money to get married is completely insane. Bad way to start a life together.

[Anonymous]

Courthouse wedding and a low key party with about 40 people a few months later. We didn’t want to spend a ton of money and didn’t have parental help plus I hate being the center of attention. Married 20 years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no corelation between simple weddings and happier marriages.

If your simple wedding has happened because you are poor AF or you are not a person who wants to spend on your guests (destination wedding, asking for a color themed dress code, paid bar, insane requests from guests) ....you are going to be unhappily married. Poverty and/or selfishness is a curse.

My friend had a simple wedding and got divorced.

Awesome! Saved money.